Here’s the thing. I’m on Team Heidi. I like Heidi Montag. I’ve been watching her since the early days of “The Hills,” when she had a whole different face, she was Lauren’s BFF, and she was a newbie to the Hollywood scene. She was relatable—but she had a kind of cruel streak, like when she dumped her boyfriend for no reason other than she seemed to feel like it. This video? I don’t know. It’s just weird. I’ve done a lot yoga, but never have I done yoga like this. Heidi and her yoga instructor (?) strike a series of awkward poses, and Heidi evidences everything you’re not supposed to do in yoga. She seems more worried one of her implants is about to burst than getting into the yoga mindset. I always wonder what the deal is with stuff like this and her. You have to imagine that perhaps it’s Spencer behind the camera, shooting the weird-doll woman that (I suspect) he has pressured Heidi to turn herself into. In any case, it’s just sad. Right? [The Superficial]

When Lauren Conrad became a writer we could feel the collective cringe from the literary community. But now she’s mixed her writing talents with fashion sense, as the reality TV star plans to tell the world her style secrets. This makes more sense to us. After all, the girl can dress. By fall of 2010, you too can look just like her after reading Lauren Conrad Style. “I think fashion should be fun and reflective of who you are,” said Lauren. “When you wear clothes you feel good in, it shows in everything you do. I know this guide will offer simple, practical tips to help anyone look fabulous.” Uh-huh. In between the pages, she’ll share the tricks to dressing just like her as well as never-seen-before shots. What do you think? Will you take fashion advice from Lauren and purchase her book? [People]

On last night’s episode of “The Hills” there was a totally laughable subplot involving Speidi staging an intervention for Heidi‘s younger older sister, Holly. Holly, you see, had a couple of shots at a party, spent a few minutes talking to Brent Bolthouse about art (oh noes!), and then did the robot. These three things, apparently, are evidence of rampant alcoholism. Somebody get Ken Seeley on the phone! But seriously, far more problematic, in my opinion? Spencer‘s cowboy hat. Also, maybe Speidi’s time would have been better used counseling his sister Stephanie, who was busted for a DUI last weekend.

Check out Lo Bosworth‘s hair, above, while filming “The Hills” along with Kristin Cavallari—now, look a little closer, see the bobby pin? Lo is using it to not only keep her hair in place (a great way to fight the hair fight on windy days), but to also give her side parted hair a slight lift. Rather than letting her hair fall limply, the strategically placed bobby pin gives the parted hair a relaxed, soft vibe. Do it yourself, it takes seconds: Take your already parted hair, and section off the top layers. Sweep ‘em back, making sure you do this softly and don’t pull your hair too taught. Then just slide the bobby pin in about halfway down the length of your hair. For a true don’t-look-twice look, buy the bobby pins that most closely match your hair. Love it.

What are you doing tonight at 10 pm? Oh, you’ll be here with me liveblogging the season premieres of MTV’s “The Hills” and “The City”? That sounds awesome. Click through to see the latest commentary on Kristin Cavallari‘s general meanness, Heidi and Spencer‘s general inanity, and Whitney Port‘s general blahness. And please, by all means, chime in!

Fall is in full swing, and your TV is probably your best friend right now thanks to all the new shows on air. The biggest news this week: tomorrow night “The Hills” are alive with the sound of Kristin. Also going down this week: a special guest star belts it out on “Glee”; “Private Practice” returns after a cliffhanger; and Ryan Reynolds and Lady Gaga team up on “Saturday Night Live.”

This season of “The Hills” is gonna be different since Lauren Conrad left the show, opening up a spot for Kristin Cavallari, who was in the original “Laguna Beach” cast. Compared to Lauren’s demeanor, Kristin is a lot—how do we say this nicely—bitchier. While her personality can be a little caustic, Kristin and her loud mouth will make for some exciting TV. In the clip above, Kristin and a friend shop for a birthday present for Kristin’s ex, Brody Jenner. Watch a longer preview of the upcoming season at People.com.

Doug Reinhardt, the baseball player who dated Lauren Conrad, recently reunited with Paris Hilton, and has the douchiest website ever, can’t seem to get himself back onto “The Hills.” According to the New York Post, the other show regulars get paid ridiculous amounts of money for their appearances. But Doug guest stars for free and just can’t seem to snag a contract. [NY Post]

Yes, yes, we’ve figured out by now that “The Hills” are alive with the sound of bulls**t. But how exactly does one get “cast” on this show? How do these contracts and payouts work? And who’s raking in the most? Read on.

In the September issue of Shape magazine, Lauren Conrad of “The Hills” talks about her new boyfriend, Kyle Howard, for the first time. Only, it left us scratching our heads because we have no idea who the eff he is. All Lauren really said in the interview is the two have a lot of romantic dinners together and now she has a “boyfriend layer” of stomach fat. So we did a little snooping and found out some other info about this mysterious dude.

Hated reality TV star Spencer Pratt has decided to enlighten us all by writing a book called “How to Be Famous.” I think he should retitle it “How To Make Yourself Into A Complete Jackass.” In the book, Spencer tries to make himself out to be a Public Relations bad ass. He brags about leaking the deets of Lauren Conrad’s sex tape because she was mean to Heidi Montag and seems to think that now that she’s gone from “The Hills” he’s going to rule. One thing we agree with? “If I weren’t me, I’d hate me,” he writes. Yeah dude, that’s pretty much how it is. [NY Daily News]

Those much-talked-about photos of Heidi Montag in Playboy have finally hit the web. While they are pretty tame, considering, you know, she’s not exactly naked in them, I wouldn’t exactly describe them as “chaste” either. In the pics, she lolls about on a bed, reclines near a fireplace, stares blankly out a window. With her top off. Or her bottom off. It’s like the usual Playboy fare—but without all the naughty bits. Personally, I find them somewhat depressing. Remember those early seasons of “The Hills,” when Heidi was a sassy back-talker who dropped men like so much tissue? In this layout, she looks like a sad, over-posed Barbie doll. In other words, the wet dream of Spencer Pratt. Shudder. [Hollyscoop]

It’s always so shocking—shocking, I tell you!—when it turns out that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have been telling not-truths yet again. I expect so much more from my reality TV stars! Truth, honesty, and an ability to eat really gross food-like items. In any case, remember that Heidi Montag naked in Playboy spread that we told you about? That “The Hills” duo has been yapping about, like, for-ev-uh? Well, as it turns out, Heidi’s not even naked in it. All six glossy pages of the female half of Speidi are totally PG. Purportedly, the instructions given to the magazine (by who, her vagina wrangler?) were: “No nipples, no vagina, no a**.” You can’t make this stuff up, people. I mean, if you’re going to go Playboy, don’t you think you should, like, go there? [TMZ]

Vancouver-based artist Karin Bubaš was watching “The Hills” last year when she realized the range of emotions shown by the characters on the MTV reality show would make for good art, especially since so many of us are familiar with the drama depicted, so she decided to recreate some of the show’s epic moments using soft chalk pastels.

Lauren Conrad’s debut novel, L.A. Candy still has a cozy spot on the New York Times best-seller list. But if that isn’t sweet enough for you, it looks like the first installment of Lauren’s “fictional” story might go from printed page to silver screen. Oh, yes, LC has been quite the little writer monkey lately, editing her second novel and penning the screenplay adaptation of the first one. It’ll be movie about a girl who moves to LA, gets a reality show, and works in the entertainment industry. In other words, it’s basically a two-hour marathon of “The Hills,” only a fictionalized version of the semi-fictional show. Naturally, it will star Lauren as Jane Roberts—the lead character based on … herself. How meta. [Daily News]

Last Thursday, Lauren Conrad appeared on “The View” and single-handedly ruined what might be the best reality TV show ever. Just kidding! But she did admit that Spencer Pratt’s apology phone call to her was entirely faked—she wasn’t on the other end of that phone call at all and her reactions were spliced together from a different conversation. It’s probably not news to anyone that “The Hills” is scripted, but basing an entire plot line on something that never happened? That’s a bit more intense. This got us wondering—how do people make riveting “reality” TV moments when reality is being so boringly uncooperative? All the secrets, after the jump.

This is the house Bunim/Murray Productions will turn into a swanky pad for the next crop of horny cast members on “The Real World: Washington D.C.” MTV will also air a D.C.-version of “The Hills” this summer. But MTV isn’t the only network moving into the capital. Bravo will soon feature political wives, philanthropic leaders, sophisticated fashionistas, and other power players in “The Real Housewives of D.C..” 

Lauren Conrad was on “The View” this morning to promote her “novel,” L.A. Candy (we’re going to a “reading” tonight!). The interview was pretty awkward and the ladies spent about, oh, six seconds discussing the book, after they peppered L.C. with questions about Heidi and Spencer. The greatest revelation? You know that little “apology” Spencer delivered to Lauren, over the phone, in order to get her to come to the wedding? Never happened. See the clip above…

Lauren Conrad has gone from reality TV starlet to fiction writer. That’s right, “The Hills” star’s first novel, L.A. Candy, comes out today. For a book supposedly based on Lauren’s experience in La La Land, I’ve got a bit of a beef with main character Jane’s portrayal. Now I’ve only loosely skimmed, but so far Lauren describes Jane’s L.A. digs as having “urine-colored walls” and being filled with “cute things” bought at Target. Umm, stretching a little, L.C? I seem to remember a killer apartment with Ralph Lauren paint and vegan home décor by Stella McCartney. But, hey, it’s fiction right? Wait. Besides the living situation, there are many bits in L.A. Candy that I feel like I’ve seen before. After the jump, some choice gems.

“There were times in my life I couldn’t afford Ramen and I couldn’t afford tampons.”

—Heidi Montag Pratt cries poor to her “I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Outta Here!” cast members. [MSN]