TV Land is normally my haven for “The Cosby Show” and “Roseanne” reruns. But lately, the network’s branched out into original shows, like “The Cougar,” basically a “Bachelorette” rip-off where the lady doing the picking is 40 and the guys are all in their 20s. Tonight at 9pm is the season premiere of “She’s Got The Look,” the show that looks to “discover the next supermodel over the age of 35.” And I’ve got some pretty mixed feelings about it.

Last night, I got a sneak peek of Bravo’s upcoming show “NYC Prep,” and heard a little about the lives of the rich and young in a Q&A with the cast. Man, is this show going to be juicy.

I was kind of skeptical about whether the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” would be able to bring the drama. After watching last night’s episode, I have no more worries. Sure, Jacqueline Laurita needs to get a backbone, and Teresa Giudice doesn’t seem to do much more than spend money, but Bravo hit the mother lode with Danielle Straub. Compared with the other housewives, including the ones in Orange County, Atlanta, and New York City, she is the ultimate villainess. Don’t let the coy smile fool you. Danielle, as one of the most divisive characters, had it totally right when she said, “You either love me or you love to hate me, there is no in between.” At this point, I don’t love or hate Danielle as a person, but I do love the drama she brings.

Paris Hilton is so misunderstood that she’s decided to let the world see the real woman behind the image in “Paris, Not France,” a documentary that debuted last year at the Toronto International Film Festival. The film, according to the Los Angeles Times, was supposed to go along with the 2006 release of “Paris,” her self-titled debut album. And director Adria Petty’s film is already out-of-date. It gives no mention of Paris’s stint in jail in 2007 and features the Paris that was always trying to upstage her last moment with stunts like riding a motorcycle on the red carpet. Comparatively, the Paris of today is much more low-key. But I bet she still believes she’s a victim of Barbie comparisons and doesn’t for a second think that she had a hand in perpetuating that persona.

Saturday

“Hitched or Ditched” is a one-hour reality show in which couples in long-term relationships are challenged by a friend to set a wedding date in a week’s time. The couples not only have to plan their wedding in seven days, but they also have to address whatever issues were keeping them from making the leap into marriage—from fixing relationships with future in-laws to dealing with feelings of jealousy. When the wedding day comes, the couples will have to choose whether to tie the knot or call everything off. So if they decide to get married, then their prize is a free wedding, but if they decide not to get married, then they breakup and have to deal with the ensuing heartache. That sounds a little unfair. But I guess if they know the marriage won’t work, then they’ll be better off in the long run. Will you watch “Hitched or Ditched” when it premieres May 26?

Saturday

Oh, no! The third season of “Mad Men” has been delayed. Variety is reporting the show began shooting this week, and the season premiere will be pushed back at least a month to August at the earliest. [Ace Showbiz] How are we going to go four months without all that repressed desire and those really fabulous clothes?

Saturday

Most of us have had to work retail at some point. We were desperate for extra cash, we wanted a store discount, or we needed a job. But after dealing with annoying customers and folding and re-folding clothes until your hands hurt, most of us vowed never to be a sales associate again—at least, I did. So, I can’t for the life of me figure out why TV producers think we would want to watch people working at a boutique.

The New York Times’ Modern Love column is something many simply adore—and others love to hate. Each week, readers learn intimate details about someone else’s relationship, and sometimes learn lessons about human nature, relationships, and love. The column has helped several writers launch their careers by way of book deals; now it may help The New York Times’ wallet. Former “Sex and the City” writer Jenny Bicks is working on a pilot script for a TV show based on Modern Love—not a specific column, the whole shebang.

The show will revolve around a fictionalized male editor’s life, which includes a messy divorce, a rocky relationship with a teenage daughter, and a reentry into the dating scene. Stories and people from the newspaper column will be woven into the show’s storylines. Even though BermanBraun optioned the rights to the column from The Times last year, Bicks isn’t sure whether she’ll be able to set the series at the paper, or if it will become a fictional news organization.

Meanwhile, the real editor of Modern Love, Daniel Jones, lives in Massachusetts with his family. No word on how he feels about having his life made into a TV show. [Variety]

A poster for the “Gossip Girl”-spinoff “Valley Girls” has been released, and it doesn’t make us at all excited for the show. Instead, it reinforces the poor casting of Brittany Snow as the young Lily van der Woodsen. [Videogum]

Soft-core porn used to be reserved for pay-per-view channels like Skin-imax, but now it’s all over the boob tube!  And it’s not Lifetime movie-esque storylines with wives in floral print dresses waiting for their husbands to feel them up so, so gently you can hardly tell what they’re doing is a sex act. Lucky for me and all you pervs out there, TV has gotten so meaty. Yeah, baby, we like it raw! Here are the top shows to watch, if you want to see some gratuitous soft-core sex scenes…

The new year is giving me something to look forward to. TV! Some of our faves are finally returning and a few new shows are giving us something to fill up that extra space on our DVR’s. Here’s a list of shows on our radar in January.

1. Scrubs
1/6, ABC
The show’s highly talked about move to ABC is enough of a reason for me to watch the wacky hospital comedy. Last season, J.D. had a baby but still has feelings for his co-worker Elliot.

2. Hell’s Kitchen
1/29, Fox
Gordon Ramsey is ready to get fiesty in this reality show about chefs competing for a chance to run their own restaurant.

3. American Idol
1/13, Fox
We are all probably a little tired of “American Idol.” But they are bringing in a fourth judge this season. I’m eager to see how Paula interacts with her. I smell a cat fight if Paula isn’t taking her meds.

There seems to be a direct correlation between how much a man spends on something and how big he wants the outside world to think his penis is.  These big-ticket items have to be noticeably large, suped up, and impressive—something to be showed off.  When men drop serious cash, it’s symbolically like they dropped their pants too. Here are the five things that men buy to make us think they have a big dick:

Sports Car: With that much horsepower, he feels like he’s hung like a horse.

While traditionally women have been prized for their virtue and morality, there’s a crop of bitches out there that are sketchier than their breath and we love them for it! Every day for your viewing pleasure, these ladies got drunk as skunks, popped a few pills, said what was on their mind, dress to the nines, and then do it all over again. Yeah, they’ll never win the Nobel Prize or even Mother of the Year, but we think they deserve their applause for simply being over-the-top entertainment. So for the ladies we’d love to tie one on with, here are our Favorite Female Lushes.

Network TV has got almost as many gay characters as Marc Jacobs’ Rolodex. Just last year, there were only seven homosexuals and bisexuals on the boob tube, but this year that number has more than doubled to 16. GLAAD is certainly happy to announce the awesome news and even single out an old foe.  The sharp increase is thanks, in part, to Fox, who not only finally put one gay character on a series, they put a whopping FIVE! Still, all this good news comes with a new glass ceiling.  While gay men seem to be making head way (no pun intended), there are no lesbian characters on the major networks—just bisexual women. One small step for man, but when is there going to be a jump for womankind? Sigh…will someone please cast Portia Di Rossi to play gay already?! [USA Today via Fark]

Last night Emmy’s were a snooze fest, but there were some real winners we want to sleep with!  First, Jon Stewart, the Daily Hotness alum who hosts “The Daily Show”, won a statuette for Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series.  Stewart makes us sweat his sexy, suit wearin’ style and then gets us giggly with his silly side.  The second stud with a statue, “Survivor”’s Jeff Probst, winner of the Outstanding Host for a Reality Program, makes being marooned on deserted island look GOOD. Something tells us, if we ever got a hold of the raw footage of that show, we’d have proof that perfectly bronzed Probst doesn’t have any tan lines.  The third winner of the night, Jeremy Piven, aka Ari Gold from “Entourage”, has been making us want to seal the deal since his film roles in the early ‘90s. He won last night for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, but we’d like to make him our main man…or at least part of the hottest ménage in Hollywood. So while these three winners have never been in anything together, we ladies of The Frisky would like to offer to be their first joint creative project. [Buzz Sugar]

MUSIC

Raphael Saadiq The Way I See It This soul brother’s tracks will make you swear his retro-record was recorded back in the day. The latest from a former member of 80’s R&B group Tony! Toni! Toné!, Saadiq’s put-you-in-the-mood grooves makes this one of the sexiest solo albums of the year.