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“The Hills” Are Alive With the Sound of Drama

Just when I had convinced myself that I actually enjoyed the first season of MTV’s “The City,” Lauren, Heidi, Spencer, Audrina, and the rest of “The Hills” crew are back, like the back-stabbing best friends I never had. The season premiere featured a tearful Heidi and Lauren reunion, and Spencer beating up a kid who dared to tell Heidi he saw Spencer hitting on a female bartender. And what’s this I see on the season teaser…?

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Star Couplings: Heidi And Spencer Are Calling It Quits!

Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Plan To Break Up
  • Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are breaking up as part of a $200,000 cover deal with a tabloid. And guess what? The story is already written. [Perez Hilton]
  • Chelsea Clinton is not getting married this summer, according to her rep. This is probably an attempt to keep the ceremony a secret. So, shhh. [Us Weekly]
  • Despite hooking up with one of her dancers, Britney Spears has supposedly fallen back in love with K-Fed, and is trying to lure him back into her arms. Hopefully, she’ll be able to get her arms around his now protruding belly. [OK! Magazine]
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    Star Couplings: Is Madonna Envious Of Lourdes?

    Maddona and Lourdes
  • OK magazine claims Madonna is jealous of daughter Lourdes’s “youth and beauty.” That might explain why Madge hasn’t advised her daughter on how to groom her eyebrows. [DListed]
  • How can Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag get “divorced” if their “marriage” isn’t valid? [Perez Hilton]
  • Audrina Partridge isn’t going for Paris Hilton’s sloppy seconds. [Perez Hilton]

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    Star Couplings: Rachel McAdams Trades Ryan Gosling For Another

    Rachel McAdams Dating Josh Lucas
  • Rachel McAdams celebrated the inauguration by kissing Josh Lucas. I guess she and ex Ryan Gosling aren’t trying to work out their differences. Lucas and Gosling look alike though, so I guess it’s a fair trade. [Star]
  • It seems Molly Ringwald caught the pregnancy bug while filming “The Secret Life of an American Teenager” because she’s pregnant with twins due in August. [Perez Hilton]
  • Chelsy Davy broke up with Prince Harry because she could no longer “put up with his lifestyle.” Note to Chelsy: the lifestyle is the point of dating a prince. [Dlisted]
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    The 10 Worst People Of 2008

    Lori Drew
    Why She’s The Worst:
    Drew created a phony MySpace account for a teenage boy and then used it to woo and then harrass 13-year-old Megan Meier. Meier responded by hanging herself.

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    10 Couples That Will Be OVER In 2009

    Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon
    Although rumors are circulating Mimi is preggers, this whole relationship seems a bit fake and plastic-like.

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    “The Hills” Finale Party Had Some Fashion Hits & Misses

    Whitney Port, Lauren Conrad, & Audrina Partridge

    Meh, Hit, Hit.

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    Star Couplings: Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo Hoping To Get Pregs

    Jessica Simpson And Tony Romo Trying For Baby
  • Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are supposedly actively trying to have a baby because there is no effing way Jess is letting Ashlee steal her thunder. [Perez Hilton]
  • Pete Wentz is so edgy. He tasted Momma Ashlee’s breast milk! Punk rock! [DListed]
  • John Mayer is THE WORST. He apparently hates Jennifer Aniston’s dogs. You know what I hate? Stupid fat lipped singers who hate dogs. [DListed]
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    The 10 Worst Boyfriends Of 2008

    John Edwards
    Married to Elizabeth Edwards

    John Edwards admitted to having an extramarital affair with Rielle Hunter, but maintains that her daughter is not his.

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    Quickies!: Heidi And Spencer Have A Santa Threesome, World Recoils In Horror

    Holly And Spencer
  • On an “impromptu photo shoot,” Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt showed how much they’re in love by making out while Heidi sat on Santa’s lap. [Popbytes]
  • So you thought having an open relationship would solve all your relationship problems? Too bad you didn’t account for jealousy. Here’s how to close the door on jealousy in an open relationship. [YourTango.com]

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    Star Couplings: Why Is Tom Cruise On “The Hills” After Show?

     

  • Tom Cruise was on “The Hills” after show on Monday night, dispensing advice for newlyweds Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Doesn’t this seem like a “Twilight Zone” plot? [DListed]
  • Tila Tequila wants to adopt a baby boy. Please don’t let her. [Us Weekly]
  • Ricky Martin’s twins! [People]
  • Star Magazine is trying to claim that Angelina is having twins again. Not buying it! [Just Jared]
  • Ryan Gosling, just cause. [Pop Sugar]
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    Star Couplings: Marilyn Manson Brings Out His New Dita Replacement

    Marilyn Manson's New Girlfriend Is Dita 3.0
  • Marilyn Manson’s new girlfriend is Dita Von Teese 3.0. [DListed]
  • Tom Cruise, who, along with wife Katie Holmes, is featured in this Sunday’s New York Times’ Magazine, says he bought an engagement ring after their first date. Don’t you mean audition? [DListed]

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    Star Couplings: Heidi Montag’s Mom Doesn’t Think Speidi’s Marriage Will Last

    Heidi Montags Mom In The New Issue Of Us Weekly
  • Heidi Montag’s mom tears her and Spencer Pratt a new a-hole in the new issue of Us Weekly [Us Weekly]
  • Anne “Celestia” Heche is pregnant with her co-star James Tupper’s baby. She has a son, Homer, from her marriage to Coley Lafoon. [Us Weekly]
  • Blake “About To Be Incarcerated” Fielder-Civil ran to Amy Winehouse’s hospital bedside so they could have one last screw before he went back to the big house. [DListed]
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    Star Couplings: Evan Rachel Wood’s New Man

    Evan Rachel Wood And Joseph Gordon Levitt Hook Up

  • Evan Rachel Wood may not have taken our advice on who she should date next, but we do approve of her choice—Joseph Gordon Levitt. Did their three names bring them together? [Perez Hilton]

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    Breaking News: Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt Eloped

    Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt Eloped

    I guess that would make sense, since no one they invited to their wedding (if there was anyone to invite) would come. [Perez Hilton]

    Update: According to an Us Weekly cover story, complete with photos (hmm, this elopement sounds super duper planned out), Heidi says, “The minute we said our vows, I couldn’t stop crying.” And of her disapproving mother? “I called her right before the ceremony, sort of hinted that something that happened, but her reaction was to ask me if we were breaking up! I told her it might be something else, and she said, ‘Well, if you ever plan on getting married just know that your stepdad is really upset that you want your father to walk you down the aisle. She was starting so much drama, it kind of pushed me toward wanting to get married without that. I don’t know when I’ll tell her.” Uh, how about before it’s plastered across magazines in her local grocery store? [Us Weekly]

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    Quickies!: Kanye West Assaults Another Paparazo

    Kanye West Arrested For Assault
  • Kanye West was arrested again for assaulting a paparazzo in the U.K. You “Can’t Tell [Him] Nothing.” [What Would Tyler Durden Do?]
  • Rachel Maddow will not let Sarah Palin eff with bloggers. [Feministing]
  • Are there any names that are a total dealbreaker for you? [Jezebel]

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    Star Couplings: Kelly Taylor’s Baby Daddy Revealed!

     

  • Hooray! All is right in “90210”-land! Dylan is the father of Kelly’s baby! Thank god. Now I can sleep at night. Secretly, I was hoping for Steve. [Perez Hilton]
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    The Hills Finally Gets Some Action In Vegas, Plus Audrina & LC Cry It Out

    Thank you MTV for finally pulling together two episodes where SOMETHING actually happened on this dang show, and two episodes in a row nonetheless!  Let’s start with my favorite quote by our token traitor, Stephanie Pratt.  “You broke up with a guy who has a private jet?” Stephanie quips to Lauren.  Classic, but as Lauren pointed out, they were still on it weren’t they? Sigh, these kids live the life.

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    Star Couplings: Jessica Simpson Curses Her Relationship With Tony Romo

    Jessica Simpson
  • In the new issue of People, Jessica Simpson calls Tony Romo the love of her life. T-minus 2 weeks till they break up! [People]
  • So Samantha Ronson is writing a memoir maybe. And then Michael Lohan said that Sam is using Lindsay because no one knew who she was until she met his daughter. And then Lindsay was like, “STFU, Dad!” And Sam was all, “See dude, this is why your daughter doesn’t talk to you. It’s not my fault she likes me better.” Boo-ya. [DListed]
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    “The Hills” Reveals Lo’s Wicked Side & Allows Spencer To Make Another Stupid Analogy

    Lo Bosworth has managed to go from funny, affable dumb-but-in-a-cute-way best friend to totally bitchy and evil in a matter of episodes. Lo reminds me of the girls in high school who, even while they’re chatting with you, were totally judging your outfit and your hair and what you were eating. On last night’s episode of The Hills, it’s the aftermath of the Lo/Audrina talk/fight, where Audrina basically told Lo she didn’t give a hoot about being friends with her and Lo passive aggressively laid the blame for their mutual awkwardness on Audrina. I sort of thought Audrina was harsh, until last night, when it because clear that Lo is just not as adorable and funny as we thought—girlfriend undresses you with her eyes, to the point where all you want to do is leave—and that’s what Audrina did.

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