Just when I had convinced myself that I actually enjoyed the first season of MTV’s “The City,” Lauren, Heidi, Spencer, Audrina, and the rest of “The Hills” crew are back, like the back-stabbing best friends I never had. The season premiere featured a tearful Heidi and Lauren reunion, and Spencer beating up a kid who dared to tell Heidi he saw Spencer hitting on a female bartender. And what’s this I see on the season teaser…?

I guess that would make sense, since no one they invited to their wedding (if there was anyone to invite) would come. [Perez Hilton]

Update: According to an Us Weekly cover story, complete with photos (hmm, this elopement sounds super duper planned out), Heidi says, “The minute we said our vows, I couldn’t stop crying.” And of her disapproving mother? “I called her right before the ceremony, sort of hinted that something that happened, but her reaction was to ask me if we were breaking up! I told her it might be something else, and she said, ‘Well, if you ever plan on getting married just know that your stepdad is really upset that you want your father to walk you down the aisle. She was starting so much drama, it kind of pushed me toward wanting to get married without that. I don’t know when I’ll tell her.” Uh, how about before it’s plastered across magazines in her local grocery store? [Us Weekly]

Thank you MTV for finally pulling together two episodes where SOMETHING actually happened on this dang show, and two episodes in a row nonetheless!  Let’s start with my favorite quote by our token traitor, Stephanie Pratt.  “You broke up with a guy who has a private jet?” Stephanie quips to Lauren.  Classic, but as Lauren pointed out, they were still on it weren’t they? Sigh, these kids live the life.

Lo Bosworth has managed to go from funny, affable dumb-but-in-a-cute-way best friend to totally bitchy and evil in a matter of episodes. Lo reminds me of the girls in high school who, even while they’re chatting with you, were totally judging your outfit and your hair and what you were eating. On last night’s episode of The Hills, it’s the aftermath of the Lo/Audrina talk/fight, where Audrina basically told Lo she didn’t give a hoot about being friends with her and Lo passive aggressively laid the blame for their mutual awkwardness on Audrina. I sort of thought Audrina was harsh, until last night, when it because clear that Lo is just not as adorable and funny as we thought—girlfriend undresses you with her eyes, to the point where all you want to do is leave—and that’s what Audrina did.