Party girl alert: It’s National Singles and Unmarrieds Week! While the title seems redundant, the need to celebrate never is. After all, being a free agent is totally awesome for many, many very sexy reasons. So if you’re flying solo, here are some suggestions for how to honor yourself and this completely invented, yet rad, week long holiday.

1. Get Your Booty On The Floor Tonight: It’ll make your day! Dancing is the perfect way to get your adrenaline up and make the most of the money you’ve spent on booze. There’s just something magical about dry-humping strangers and you, my single friend, are free to do so! If you for some reason don’t feel like getting into the groove, this is the sure fire cure to catch dance fever.

Being a single gal is fun and can even allow you to get a little extra freaky! But sometimes the pendulum swings the other way—not knowing where your next piece of ass will come from can leave you in a sad dry spell, and even the professionals aren’t immune. Heidi Fleiss, the infamous Hollywood madam, had it all. And by “it” we mean every A-list actor in LA. Not only did she score the top booty, they paid her well to do it too! At the height of her career she had Marlon Brando, Jack Nicholson, Charlie Sheen, and a Porsche.  In 1997, she was thrown into an unsexy pair of handcuffs, put in jail, and left penniless for her escort service. Now, at 42, the former working girl has opened her own shop in podunk Pahrump, NV. Strangely enough, even though prostitution is legal in Nevada, she’s not putting the rump in Pahrump. Instead of a ring of call girls, she’s in charge of the spin cycles at her little launderette cleverly called “Dirty Laundry.” She’s cleaning clothes and cleaning up her act while living in a mobile home with 20 parrots she saved from a closing pet store. “I love those birds more than I’ve ever loved any man,” Heidi said in a recent interview. “It’s been two years since I had sex and I don’t care if I ever do it again.” Sigh, we’ve all been through a sexless rough patch and it’s hard to pull yourself out—even if you’re the Madam Fleiss (and especially if you’re a crazy bird lady). But, Heidi, you just have to get back up on the man-horse and ride! Everyone in America knows you can do it. [NOTW]

It looks like I’m living in the wrong city—and there is little to no chance I will be moving to LA…ever. Oh well, at least single people are in the majority these days. Woohoo! [The Boston Globe]

Do you remember that Sex and the City episode where Samantha’s doctor tells her she might have developed breast cancer because of her “lifestyle choices” (being single and childless). Well, now there’s a study that says happily married adults have lower blood pressure than single people. Don’t take this as an edict to get married, though, because the unhappily married had even worse blood pressure than singles. And if you’re blood pressure’s that much of a problem, have your doc prescribe you something. [Reuters]

Breakin’ up is hard to do, and like any other natural disaster, the aftermath is awful. You just don’t know what to do with your wreckage, but you gotta get back in business. And while Ploomy’s 30 Tips To Help You Get Your Swagger Back is a great post-breakup to-do list for men (they go for new clothes and a haircut too!), we’ve decided to create our own Frisky version for the ladies. While it may take the boys 30 steps, we’re going to try to bring our sexy back in 6 moves.