In July, we learned about the woman with the world’s strongest vagina. Tatiana Kozhevnikova spent 15 years strengthening her lady parts with custom-made glass balls and worked her way up to lifting 31 lbs.

The practice of strengthening your hoo-ha by putting a ball up there isn’t new, though it’s not something we hear much about these days. Apparently, these exercises go back to ancient China, when the queen and concubines were taught how to do them in the Royal Palace so they would please the king while making love.

This week, I got a letter from a lady who has an itch she’s been meaning to get scratched. She just can’t quite seem to reach it.

I have a dilemma and am looking for some advice.  I’m 28 years old and still a virgin.  It isn’t something that I planned, and I find it a bit embarrassing.  I dated the same guy all through college, but at first I just wasn’t ready yet.  Even once I personally was ready, I knew that having my first time be with him wasn’t probably the best idea. (We were complicated, angsty, and breaking up/getting back together all the time, and I felt like having sex with him would just complicate things further.)  I dated a guy for quite a while after college whom I wanted to sleep with.  We had great chemistry, and plus I was really ready by then.  He told me he didn’t want to because he “didn’t want to be the jerk who took it from me,” and eventually he cheated on me.  It took a little while to recover from that, and I didn’t even date for a while.

A letter in this week’s Time Out New York’s sex column, Get Naked, reminded me that sometimes it’s the simplest things that can boggle a mind. A woman writes to columnist Jamie Bufalino:

I like dry sex with my husband, but it only happens a few times per month. I assume hormones are at work, but is there anything I can do to sustain this? Dehydration? I just feel so much more when everything is dry and not ruined by wetness.

At first, I thought, Oh, she likes dry humping with her husband ... like they’re a couple of teenagers ... that’s kinda cute, I guess ... But I continued reading and realized, Oh she means actual dry sex, like with a dry vagina. Um, ew! I’ve never heard of this, have you? I mean, as far as fetishes or sexual preferences, or whatever, go, it’s decidedly tame, but, still, a dry vagina? Really? I mean, wouldn’t that feel ... horrible? Bufalino isn’t even a woman and he thinks so — his response to the letter writer after the jump.

Thanks to BuzzFeed for reminding me of something totally ridiculous that I noticed in the most recent issue of Cosmopolitan. We’ve already warned you about five sexual tips courtesy of the lady rag that you should absolutely not follow, but, oh, there are so many more. Take the “fun little trick guys love” suggested in the article above. “Use your thong as a hair tie!” Um, what? Why? When? Do not understand! But maybe dudes DO like this weird little move? I asked some guys for their gut response to this suggestion. Their responses, after the jump ...

Most guys look at Cosmopolitan magazine the same way that women tend to look at Maxim—as a ridiculous, over-the-top, hyperbole-filled look at sex that has no bearing on actual real-life relationships.

Yet, men still read Maxim (or look at it and grunt), and women still revel in Cosmo‘s softcore porn-filled pages. But while many of Cosmo‘s columns are relatively harmless, the “Things to Try In Bed” features are occasionally so far off track that they threaten to ruin relationships and mental health.

From a guy’s perspective, here’s a look at a few of Cosmo‘s most insane, useless sexual tips and why you should never try them, after the jump.

This week I got a letter from a lady who’s got the rack but is missing some spice. She wrote:

I have been with my boyfriend for about seven months and it’s been going really well. 
However he keeps mentioning how much he likes/misses having “make-up sex,” and I just don’t know what to do.
 We just have never fought … in fact, I’m not much of a fighter and have never had “make-up sex” in my life. If something upsets me, sex is really the last thing I want to do with that person. 
It’s clearly something he really enjoys, and as nice as it is that we don’t have epic fights, I feel we are missing out on something. 
I have talked it through with him and he says that he doesn’t care, that it’s nice not to be arguing. But I can tell that it’s something he really misses from previous relationships. 
I have even tried picking fights, when I haven’t been annoyed at all, to try and get it going! (That’s hasn’t worked.) Please give me some suggestions!

FOXSexpert columnist Yvonne Fulbright offers the world’s tallest man, Sultan Kosen, some sex advice in her latest article. She says, “Height is hardly ever a problem in or out of the sack (unless you’re on the dance floor),” going on to offer Kosen suggestions, including these gems:

• Try to look less threatening.
• Get a dog.
• Go anywhere tall women go.
• Use a LoveRocker (a device we weren’t able to find with quick Google search).

My 85-year-old Grandma has got some serious game and an even hotter love life than I do. Still dating in her golden years, my grams finally settled down and moved in with her sexy new boyfriend. He’s 94, also a Holocaust survivor, and a total charmer. They spend the winters at her condo in Boca (that’s Boca Raton, Florida, natch), and the summers at his place in New York. Clearly, she knows what she’s doing when it comes to men! So, while she’s in town, I’ve been hassling my own personal dating guru to share her secrets with us Frisky gals. Last episode, she gave us the inside scoop on the best places to meet men, masturbation, sex back in the day, and having a porn addiction. But this time, I really went there and asked my grammy about dating friends, blow jobs, who should pay for a date, and anal sex. Yes, anal. What, did you think I’d let her get off easy?

Got a question for Simcha’s grandma? Email grandma@thefrisky.com—no topic is off limits for this silver fox! And she loves reading your emails.

I’m working from home today, and while I miss my special Frisky lady friends, I have to admit, I miss something else about going into the office more: strutting past the construction workers. Our office building is currently getting not one, but two new store fronts. So, everyday, I’ve got to walk past roughly a dozen sweaty studs handling their equipment. Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?! Plus, despite how often they see me, they always manage to find new ways to describe my bang-ability on the daily. And I love them for it. (Although, I have yet to nail a handyman. Sigh.) But I have picked up a few sexy tips just from having all those dirty men around. I’m going to tell you what I know, but please help me pray that the Mexican restaurant and coffee shop stay under construction for a while longer ...

I have a confession to make. Before I was married, I used to hate foreplay. I found myself rushing through the preliminaries, anxiously pushing towards the main event. I mean really, who has time for ear nibbles and a kiss on the back of the thigh? I had foolishly assumed that I was more thoroughly evolved, less needy, and more perfectly suited to a heterosexual relationship in terms of my needs and libido. A typical session involved me smiling in tolerance while I submitted to a thorough toe sucking, and then asking for what I had wanted all along. Way back when, I actually endured foreplay. After five years of marriage, I sit here and wonder…what changed?

Yesterday, I broke down for dudes why gals won’t have sex with them, even if we totally had a hot successful date. But what if you don’t even get the chance to play coy? Nothing is more perplexing than a guy not trying to put the moves on you, when you’re clearly interested in him. So we decided to ask our man panel WTF?! Aren’t your penises hard-wired to pounce anything they can? Shouldn’t we just be able to snap our fingers and make guys our sexytime machines? NO?! Well, their reasons are just as shocking…

Dudes of the world: You are very sexy. You are very tempting. You are very hard ... to say no to. Believe me! But sometimes, my V isn’t willing to accept the gift that is your P. So before you go getting down on yourself, here are the real reasons I won’t have sex with you after a date, even if it went well…

This week I got a letter from a lady who is learning that love may hurt, but sex can leave a bruise: “I met a guy who’s shaping up to be pretty awesome. Except, he squeezed my boobs so hard the other night that i woke up the next morning with black and blue bruises from where his fingers were. Needless to say, next time I see him, we’ll be having a little chit-chat. Or will we? Because when I look in the mirror instead of thinking, ‘Ew, those nasty marks are GROSS!’, my thought process is more along the lines of, ‘Hell yeah, I got some last night!’ I generally have the same reaction when I get hickeys, even if it’s a pain to cover them up and they look horrendous. Is it strange to take pleasure in getting sex scars?”

Yeah! You got some! [Insert victory dance here.] Meanwhile, I was just watching “Project Runway.”

Anyway, I once was in love with a biter. One night, he chomped down on my nips so hard I couldn’t wear a bra for two days. It hurt so good that I’m not even embarrassed to say I like the John Mellencamp song of the same name! No need to be disgusted by yourself. Maybe you’re just discovering that you’re into S&M like a lot of peeps, including yours truly. Psst, I’m an easy bruiser too.

Battle wounds are cool, and love marks are a source of pride—that is, unless they embarrass you at the office. Here’s how I cover ‘em up to save corporate face…

FINALLY. Someone has created an online guide on how to have sex in a Snuggie. Your erotic Snuggie prayers have been answered. If you thought it was impossible to have sex while wearing a blanket, you were dead wrong. Check out The Snuggie Sutra if you want to find out how to do it with your Snuggies on. From The Manket (which looks like Snuggie missionary) to The Chaps (which looks like Snuggie reverse cowgirl), The Snuggie Sutra has all your dirty Snuggie sexual position options, er, covered. What’s next ... Snuggie porn? [Snuggie Sutra]

Dan Savage, sex advice columnist extraordinaire, recently blogged that he is shooting a pilot this Thursday for a possible HBO show based on his column, “Savage Love.”  The idea of the show is to examine current events and cultural trends through the lens of sex, he explained. Guess HBO just doesn’t feel right with “Sex and The City” gone, huh?

We Frisky gals are obsessed with “True Blood.” These vamps we’d be happy to fang bang, no wooing necessary. I mean, have you seen Eric, shirtless and six-packed? As if being a stone cold fox with centuries of experience in bed wasn’t hot enough, the vamps on the HBO show can also glamour peeps. They stare deep into someone’s eyes until they melt like putty, agreeing to just about anything and everything. Magic! If only it were that easy for we mortal hos. But we’ve still got some skills! Here are some ways we women can bewitch a man into thinking we’re perfect prey.

When it comes to orgasms, we all are left wondering what will make the magic happen for us. For ladies, sometimes seeing an impressive instrument is believing. Heck, even I obsessed over “How To Predict The Size Of A Penis.” But does the distance of his dong really matter when it comes to coming?

It’s called the money shot. In straight porn it involves the male giving the female what is euphemistically called “a facial.” (Not the kind from Bliss Spa.) In some porn films, the facial is played up to emphasize his humiliation of and domination of her, but in other porn flicks, the money shot is just something the actors do. In real life, I suspect facials happen more for pleasure than for humiliation, seeing as women have a little thing called self-respect. But when I recently mentioned facials in my 10 Things Women Forget To Do During Sex piece, a hootenanny of condemnation—and defense—broke out in the comments section of that post.

It’s hard to believe it’s been over 20 years since I suffered through awkward sex-ed videos of swimming, talking sperm and dancing ovaries in junior high. Feeling a little nostalgic, I did a search for “vintage sex ed” on YouTube this morning and found this gem from the ‘70s. Poor Ricky! Not only does his mom walk in on him at the most inopportune time, she proceeds to ruin any chance he might have to “feel good” in the future. Then again, as her voice plays back at the end, it’s hard not to wonder if maybe she didn’t just give him more fodder for the job…

Ladies, I think we’ve all experienced that not-so-satisfying moment when we are ready for the ship to pull into the harbor, but the sail just won’t rise. An unfortunate experience for all parties involved. Well, I may have just found a too-good-to-be-true solution—Sexlets Gum For Him. That’s right. Have your man chew his way to a hard-on with this gum that claims to be a sexual enhancer formulated to help increase size, erection potency, stamina, energy and satisfaction for you and your dude. Worried about the side effects? Lighten up. It contains an “all-natural” blend of herbs and supplements which cause an increase in blood flow. And on top of all of that, it’s good for his breath! Screw Orbitz. This is the kind of gum I should be carrying around in my purse. Next time a dude asks me for some gum, I will slip him a Sexlet and just watch that ship sail. It’s a win-win.