God, Sarah Palin hates Levi Johnston so much right now: the father of the Alaska (soon-to-be-former) governor’s only grandchild gabbed to reporters last night that she stepped down as Alaska’s governor before her term is up so she could make more money.

The sexy-dumb hockey player, who has kept busy since the election gossiping with Tyra Banks and posing shirtless in GQ, claimed that he heard Palin bemoan the family’s financial situation back in December. According to Johnston, the governor allegedly said “how nice it would be to take some of this money people have been offering us and just run with it, and saying forget everything else.”

Yesterday, Sarah Palin said, “Politically speaking, if I die, I die. So be it.” But that doesn’t look like what’s going to happen. According to the latest USA Today/Gallup poll, two-thirds of Republicans want Palin to remain a “major national political figure,” and I don’t think they mean as the butt of late-night comedy jokes. And 7 in 10 Republicans say they would absolutely pull the lever for her for prez in 2012, and that the past week hasn’t changed their perception of her one iota. Um, people, don’t you remember when she QUIT HER JOB? How exactly does that make her fit for the Oval Office? This next stat won’t come as a shocker to anyone—75% of Democrats want to see her career be dunzo, already. So, Frisky GOPers, tell us what you think! [USA Today]

“Today” spoke with Sarah Palin while she was on a fishing trip in a remote village in Alaska just three days after her strange and sudden resignation. She said that after she was tapped to run for VP last August, everything changed. Now, Palin is sick of playing political games. Will she run for president in 2012? “I don’t know what the future holds,” She said. “You can’t predict what the next fish run’s going to look like, much less what’s going to happen in the next couple of years. My focus is on my state still, and it always will be. And my family and what is best for them.” So, that’s not a no?

On Friday, I was vegging out on the beach, enjoying an Italian ice and the latest issue of Lucky, when I got a text from a friend: Sarah Palin was peacing out as the governor of Alaska at the end of the month. For the next hour, I compulsively read the news on my iPhone, trying to make sense of Palin’s semi-loopy announcement.

“[I want to] fight for all our children’s future from outside the governor’s office,” she said. “I thought about how much fun other governors have as lame ducks. They maybe travel around their state, travel to other states, maybe take their overseas international trade missions. I’m not going to put Alaskans through that. I promised efficiencies and effectiveness.”
[New York Times]

Um, Sarah, remember 10 months ago when you ran for freaking VICE PRESIDENT? What if McCain had won the election and had some inevitable health problem? You could have landed plop in the Oval Office. Would you up and quit then? Also, you think the best way to by efficient and effective is to…hand the reigns over to someone else?

My imaginary redneck boyfriend, Levi Johnston, is still runnin’ that tobacco spittin’ mouth of his. (Actually, I don’t know if he actually chews/spits tobacco, I’m just being admittedly stereotypical about rednecks.) This time he’s chatting with New York, a city, by the way, he tells the mag he doesn’t like. Levi tells the mag, “There’s too many people. I can’t wait to get home.” Levi really realized home was where his heart was when he was dragged to the Republican National Convention and told to wave and smile, prompting the media to suggest he would be moving to Washington, D.C. with the Palin family had the McCain ticket won the Presidency. Of the convention he says, “That was ridiculous…. I ain’t never moving.” Well, shucks.

Or as she put it, “I’m not retreating, so much as advancing in another direction.” May I be so bold as to commend the Governor for this extraordinary act of patriotism? Surely this has nothing to do with that little Vanity Fair story does it? [CNN]

The August 2009 cover of Runner’s World features none other than VP Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. In the cover article “I’m A Runner,” the 45 year old Governor of Alaska talked with the magazine about her life long passion for running. As opposed to the Katie Couric interview in which she couldn’t drop the name of a newspaper she read, this interview reads quite smoothly and amazingly the woman even managed to link God’s greatness to running. My only problem: the photos portray Palin all done up and ready to run right on into a House of Representatives meeting, not the Alaska land front. But at least she defended herself saying, “When I run, I’m totally incognito because I’m not wearing the trough full of makeup. I can go running through a mob of tourists and they don’t recognize me.” After the jump, more interview tidbits fromwhat shoes Palin likes to sport to why she named her kid Track.

You may have heard that David Letterman and the governor of Alaska are in a bit of a tiff over jokes he made in reference to her family—particularly jokes he directed at one of her daughters. After much back and forth, Letterman apologized for the second time last night—this time, without sarcasm. Personally, I don’t think that he should have.

As you know, David Letterman’s been getting a lot of flack for opening up his trap about Sarah Palin and her family. He won’t shut up about it. She won’t shut up about it. And obviously we can’t shut up about it. So after the jump, I’d like to take you on a trip down memory lane to reminisce about some older Letterman feuds that people also couldn’t shut up about.

It’s not David Letterman who makes women look bad, it’s Sarah Palin! The Alaska governor continued to cry us a river in an interview with Matt Lauer on “The Today Show,” saying that Letterman should apologize to women everywhere. She’s still claiming the jokes he made were about her 14-year-old daughter even though the comedian explained they were made about her 18-year-old who did, in fact, get knocked up. Anna at Jezebel has a great post on why she hasn’t been able to muster up much sympathy for the Palins, despite the obvious sexism in his remarks. Frankly, We think Sarah is the one who should be apologizing because she issued a statement saying she wouldn’t go on David Letterman’s show because it would boost his ratings and she didn’t trust him around her youngest daughter, Willow. Wow, WTF is that supposed to mean? What do you think about all this?

The Sarah Palin and David Letterman feud continues. After the “Late Show” host cracked jokes about the Palin’s trip to New York City, the family got all upset and issued some very silly statements. They should’ve just kept their mouths shut. I would never have known about Sarah’s “slutty flight attendent look” if she hadn’t started flapping her jaw. Last night, Letterman discussed the jokes at length, rereading the ones that got Sarah in a tizzy. He admitted that, yes, they were in poor taste but said “they’re just jokes.” All this back and forth is a little confusing so, after the jump, the breakdown.

It’s one thing for a comedian like Tina Fey to make fun of how inarticulate and fame-hungry Palin is. It’s another thing to say she dresses like a slut. But that’s what David Letterman of the Late Show did last night in his Top 10 roundup of “Highlights of Sarah Palin’s Trip To New York City,” when he said Palin must have “bought makeup at Bloomingdale’s to update her slutty flight attendant look.”

The rest of the list is actually pretty hilarious, but come on, we don’t have to be respectful of women only when we like them. Clip above!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to surfing the Internet, Hustler has announced it’s got yet another adult movie spoofing the life and times of former vice-presidential candidate and governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. When it comes to XXX, Palin moves product, apparently. First, there was “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?” Then, there was “Obama Is Nailin’ Palin.” (Guess we got that question answered.) Now, the X-rated empire Larry Flynt built is producing “Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin,” in which, among other surely tawdry deeds, “Sarah Palin” gets it on with “Tina Fey” playing Sarah Palin on “SNL.” It’s all so confusing. In any case, the sure to be, um, fascinating latest homage to the politician who will not go away is set to be released early this summer. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing. By which I mean politics. [Sexaminer]

Welcome to Monday, people. Let’s get this week started right—with a fun-loving video in which armed women shoot inflatable love dolls out of the sky. Now you know what you wish you were doing if you weren’t at work, don’t you? Making a feminist statement by annihilating that which represents the patriarchal objectification of women! Or, you know, maybe it’s just some wacky Japanese TV show. However you want to see it, it looks like a good time to me. Do you think that maybe for the next episode they could send up a squadron of those inflatable Sarah Palin love dolls? That would be a great opportunity for making an awesome political statement, indeed.

Speaking at a “right-to-life” event in Indiana yesterday, former Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin told the crowd that she has “just for a fleeting moment” considered an abortion when she learned her youngest son, Trig,  would be born with Down’s Syndrome: “That blew me away, it rocked my world… It was a time I asked myself, was I going to walk the walk?” she said. In the end, obviously, she chose to continue the pregnancy. Trig turns one year old tomorrow.

Hmm. This is the second time that Palin has acknowledged that abortion is an issue of choice. Last summer she said she was proud of pregnant daughter Bristol’s “decision to have her baby.” Now she’s saying she considered having an abortion, but chose not to. Clearly, both she and Bristol chose what was right for them and their families, but they had a choice. Palin, of course, is a staunch supporter of revoking Roe V. Wade. If she got her way, the two options SHE considered would be whittled down to one—for the rest of us. [AOL News]

John McCain went on “The Tonight Show” last night and spoke about the future of the Republican party and who’s leading the GOP. He mentioned several governors, and, apparently, he doesn’t consider former running mate Sarah Palin to be one of the “young, dynamic governors” in their party, because he intentionally didn’t mention her. Diss! [The Daily Beast via AOL News]

Sarah Palin. Remember her? Despite Levi Johnston’s TV talk show circuit tour having ended, the Alaska governor is still under the microscope. Wayne Anthony Ross, Palin’s nominee for Alaska’s state attorney general, is facing accusations of supporting marital rape. Leah Burton, a veteran lobbyist on children’s issues and domestic violence, told the Alaska State Judiciary Committee that Ross said in a 1991 speech—given in front of the “father’s rights” group Dads Against Discrimination—“If a guy can’t rape his wife, who’s he gonna rape?” Hmm, is this the kind of “common sense” Jack was talking about? Burton also claims Ross once said, “If a woman would keep her mouth shut, there wouldn’t be an issue with domestic violence.” Ross denies making these statements—“I don’t talk like that!” he says—but rumor has it Palin may withdraw her nomination in order to save face. [The Daily Beast]

Levi Johnston continued along the media parade route this morning, stopping by “The Early Show” with his mom and sister Mercede to discuss this whole Palin family debacle. Among the revelations? Despite what the Palin’s are saying, he did live under their roof even before Bristol got knocked up and Sarah tots knew he was stickin’ it in. Also, he hates it when people call his family white trash, and, oh yeah, he’s totally open to modeling! Clip above.