Even though Star claims she’s the docile one in this relationship. Also, cute outfit. [Los Angeles, 7/2/08]

“ZOMG!!!! SAM!!! I missed you so much! It’s been, like, 20 minutes since we were photographed together in a semi-lesbian embrace!” [On the set of Labor Pains, Los Angeles, 6/9/08]

Lindsay Lohan has been stickin’ it to Paris Hilton! When the cat’s away groupie-ing it up with her boyfriend Benji Madden in South Africa, someone’s gotta take her place in America.  And Lohan has risen to the challenge! Earlier today, a sex tape, er, crappy cell phone video, surfaced of a blonde going down on Calum Best—a boy the starlet has a summer fling with. Lindsay reportedly said she didn’t remember being filmed, which is completely plausible considering her old habits. Then Lindsay kicked it up a Paris-notch by sporting an initial ring of her own.  While Hilton’s got “BM”, supposedly for her #2—boyfriend Benji—Lohan’s got SR, for her best girlfriend DJ Samantha Ronson.  So now, not only is she copping a feel on Paris’ publicity racket and fashion sense, she’s also playing gay for a day—just like Hilton recently did with Elisha Cuthbert! Man, Lohan has got this Paris act down. Turns out, however, that the sex tape is just some other blonde chick, but we still think Lindsay should get to play Paris in a Lifetime Made-For-TV movie.

Uh oh. We smell a celebrity rehab relapse on the horizon. Lindsay Lohan, who recently completed treatment at a rehab facility in Utah—which, yes, seems to have worked since she hasn’t gotten drunk or shown any visible signs of cocaine use since (though she did pick up a typically scabby boyfriend)—was seen out and about with former-BFF and rumored enabler Samantha Ronson. Ronson, a “DJ,” was LiLo’s constant companion during many of her drinking and drug filled episodes, and some even speculated the two were lesbian lovers. We totally believe it, but then again, we think everyone in Hollywood is gay. But regardless, making the rounds with Bad Influence #1 is probably a sign of worse things to come. Lindsay, we beg of you, don’t sink even lower by calling your former stylist/coke dealer Rachel Zoe!