We’re not so sure that “Gossip Girl” hunksicle Chace Crawford deserves to be People Magazine’s #1 hottest bachelor. But we were kinda entertained by some of the thoughts he shared in the interview—like that he had his first kiss in the firth grade, that he talks to his parents everyday, and that he likes a girl who can beat him at beer pong. Chace goes on to describe his perfect date. After the jump, we weigh in on it, as well as on dream dates described by Robert Pattinson and Matthew McConaughey. [People]

• Danielle Staub from “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” reportedly has a sex tape with Steve Zalewski, the balding twentysomething who looks fortysomething. [Dlisted]—That means season two should be just as entertaining as season one.
• Robert Pattinson has reportedly been spending time with two women while filming in New York City. [Perez Hilton]—And he said he had a hard time getting laid?
• Billy Joel and his third wife Katie Lee have split. [E! Online]—Expect Gwyneth Paltrow to refer to William’s love life in the next issue of Goop.

It’s Wednesday once again. Which means that the tabloids are out, and there are oh so many stories on newsstands about your favorite celebrities that will inevitably blow your mind. Then tomorrow, you will hear that half of said stories are totally made up. Which is really half the appeal of tabloids, isn’t it, the constant push and pull? So you don’t have to actually buy these rags and waste trees, we’ve rounded up the juiciest stories, after the jump.

There are no words. Other than, I swear I was not there, don’t believe a word anyone tells you. [via DListed]

From this pic of Pattinson on the set of his upcoming flick, “Remember Me,” Robby is a dead ringer for the deceased “Blues Brother.” He should totally star in a Belushi biopic! All we gotta do is teach Rob the lyrics to “Raw Hide.” And then crack the whip. [New York City, 6/15/09]

It would be more fun if celebrities had to fight to the death for roles. Or maybe casting directors could make them compete in elaborate ropes courses? This week, some very talented celebrities are up for the same roles. James Franco and Robert Pattinson are neck-and-neck for the honor of playing musician Jeff Buckley in a biopic. Meanwhile, producer Dan Lin has announced his plan for another installment of “Tomb Raider.” But could Angelina be out in favor of Megan Fox? After the jump, how we think it will shake out.

• Rihanna has been subpoenaed to testify against Chris Brown, who is answering felony assault charges, in a preliminary hearing scheduled for June 22. [Us Magazine]
• Monica Seles is reportedly seeing billionaire Thomas Golisano, a man twice her age. [Perez Hilton]—I’m not a big fan of the Republican coup Golisano’s orchestrated in the New York State legislature, so now I dislike Monica by association.
• Kendra Wilkinson says her baby is due Christmas day. [People]—Kendra and Hank were really busy in March, huh?

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it through hump day. But even more importantly, new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy them, here’s the juiciest and, uh, most ultra true stories from each.

Robert Pattinson has been adorable his whole life. Have you seen a cuter toddler? Apparently some hotties never have to go through an ugly duckling phase.

Filming a climactic scene for “New Moon” in Italy with co-star Kristen Stewart. [Montepulciano, Italy, 5/27/09]

Robert Pattinson is a total babe, even when he was one. Star magazine managed to get their grubby little hands on Pattinson’s first pictorial as a model and it proves he was a hot child in the city, runnin’ wild and and looking pretty! Although, even as a grown up stanky man beast, I still want to tap that “Twilight” ass. But for now, I’d just like to personally thank whoever was responsible for taking a picture of him in nothing but boxers. Talk about a spread! [Towleroad]

Rihanna was spotted getting rather cozy with Wilmer Valderama at Geisha House in Hollywood, where the former “That ‘70s Show” star hosts a weekly karaoke night. Wilmer doesn’t have the best track record on the Hollywood dating scene. He has dated Lindsay Lohan, Mandy Moore, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Ashlee Simpson. And in March 2006 Wilmer went on “The Howard Stern Show” to kiss and tell about his widely publicized relationships. Classy! At this point, anyone is better for Rihanna than Chris Brown, but Wilmer Valderama, really? She can do so much better.

When an actress wants to be taken seriously (and seriously considered for an Oscar) she’ll often play ugly, i.e., Charlize Theron in “Monster.”  For men, the equivalent is playing gay. When a pretty boy wants to be known as an actor, rather than eye candy, he takes on such a role to show that he can do more than look good and that he’ll go the distance for his “craft.” Robert Pattinson does this in his upcoming movie, “Little Ashes.” In the film, Pattinson plays Salvador Dali in the story of the friendships between him and filmmaker Luis Bunuel and writer Federico Garcia Lorca (with whom he has a relationship). I went to a screening a couple weeks ago, and while there is a lot of sexual tension, there wasn’t as much sex as Pattinson has been making it sound like. In an interview with GQ, he said:

“Here I am, with Javier [Beltran], who plays [Federico García] Lorca, doing an extremely hard-core sex scene, where I have a nervous breakdown afterward. And because we’re both straight, what we were doing seemed kind of ridiculous. ... And it wasn’t even a closed set. There were all these Spanish electricians giggling to themselves.”

Either Pattinson is trying to make more of the gay sex than there is for publicity’s sake, or I fell asleep during this part (I don’t recommend this movie, even to the Pattinson-obsessed). Click through to see other hot actors who have played gay early in their careers and gone on to, um, bigger things.