I’m a Capricorn girl (moon in Pisces, Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Libra) who’s four years into a long-distance relationship with a Sagittarian guy (moon in Cancer, Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Virgo). I think we both feel a sense of being drawn to the other, but this long-distance situation has taken a big toll on me emotionally. My biggest problem is that I have such a hard time trusting him and believing his motives are genuine. My dad (Aries) was a philanderer so my natural cynicism and disbelief that men can truly love and be happy with one woman is quite high. Sag guy makes an effort to listen to my doubts, learn to communicate better through words, and let me know how important I am to him. I think I love his freewheeling Sag ways when we’re together, but feel some concern over them when we’re apart.

Your passive-aggressive aunt bought you a Match.com subscription for Christmas. While your first impulse was to hit her with a brick, you’ve always been curious about online dating. “What the heck?” you figure. “I’ll write an ad and take a look around.” But when you’re on your own in virtual reality, the search for computer-generated love can be daunting. Here are the top online dating types to avoid.

Women who fall in love with and sometimes marry psychotic killers — like Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) or Ted Bundy — have always fascinated me. I mean, why? Sure, people do tend to have types, but “big-schnozzed manorexic” is a far cry from “slitter of throats and raper of ladies.” However, I have to give these women some credit—at least those guys were still in jail and therefore unable to harm them when they hooked up.

Drew Peterson’s latest fiancé is more of a risk-taker. Twenty-four-year-old Christina Raines is set to marry 53-year-old Peterson despite the fact that two out of his four ex-wives were either murdered or missing and presumed murdered. Though he hasn’t been formally charged in either murder, he remains Suspect #1.

That said, most of us who’ve dated law-breakers go a lot less high-profile—here are a few signs that you might be seeing someone who lives on Johnny Law’s bad side.

I have been emailing and talking on the phone with a man across the county who I met through a group online. His birthday is 9/10. I was born on 11/15. We get along great, enjoy the same things and I’ve developed very warm feelings for him. He says he looks forward to meeting me, as we are both traveling to meet with other members in our group next year. But I sometimes get mixed messages from him, which makes me sad, since we have been communicating for six months everyday. Then he will call me, even if I don’t call him. Do you see a romance developing? —A Drowning Water Sign

Do you know anyone who keeps their New Year’s resolutions? Or even remembers them after January 15? I sure don’t. Most of us vow to lose weight, quit drinking, or cut up those credit cards. But some of us make relationship-related resolutions, and that’s what we’re here to talk about. After the jump are four resolutions. One of the four is valid; the other three are less so. Let’s see if you can tell which is which.

“I’m used to being with bad boys, jocks, and jerks, so the day I met this sweet, easy-going guy, I fell hard right away. But my first red flag should have been the fact that he cheated on his ex-girlfriend with me. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. He was following that, “Don’t ask, don’t tell policy,” I guess. He broke up with her shortly after we hooked up.  He claimed she was ‘evil.’ By May we were exclusive. Now our relationship is long distance.  We see each other once a month. We talk all the time and the times we are together are amazing. He’s in the army and now he is moving even farther away.  He wanted me to move and be with him, but I have a good job and I also have a son. It would be hard to just up and move across the country.  I told him if he ever proposed to me, I’d move in a heartbeat. It’s been almost eight months.  He claims I’m ‘the one,’ says he has no doubts about us and doesn’t want to lose me, but he isn’t ready for marriage. I’ve been putting off accepting a good job and buying a house because I’ve been thinking that we will be together. I’ve been waiting and it’s not happening. He says it’s not that he’s not sure about being with me, he’s just not sure about marriage. Should I wait it out? Or move on without him? The long distance relationship is killing me! He told me he has no idea when he will be ready. My birthday is 09/22/1986 and his is 06/24/1986. —Torn Virgo

Writing about dating is my full-time job, so, naturally, I hear a lot of pretty deranged tales of love gone wrong. But last week I received a letter from a woman who was convinced that men wouldn’t go out with her because she was just too … beautiful.

She fully believed her breathtaking attractiveness was anything but a man-magnet—as one might expect. Instead, she said, her beauty acted as a Romeo-repellant, causing suitors to run screaming from her. Obviously, I explained the situation to her (perhaps it wasn’t her gorgeous outsides, but her narcissistic insides that were doing the damage), but it did get me to thinking about all the other ridiculous reasons that women—myself included—come up with when they get dumped.

Locking lips. Making out. Smooching. Kissing. It sounds so pleasant and easy, yet do a little research and you’ll soon discover that while everyone may be doing it, few are doing it well. For your edification, I have rounded up the different varieties of bad kissers and broken them down by the traits they share with members of the animal kingdom: 

Iguana: Characterized by cool, dry lips, and a tiny pink tongue, Lizard Lips is about as arousing as, well, a small reptile crawling around your mouth. One victim noted, “He’d dart his tongue in and out at a million flicks per second. Kissing is supposed to get you hot, not give you calluses.”

Hate to say it, but some romantic gestures are gross and cheesy and not at all what we want when a guy is trying to make a statement. That said, there are some really, really sweet, kind, funny things a man can do to melt our cold hearts. Here are the ten things we’d seriously rather you not do to woo us, plus ten gestures that really will turn us to mush.

Things That Are Intended To Be Romantic But Provoke Gag Reflex
1. Having your date get down on his knees at a movie theater and serenade you to New Edition’s “Mr. Telephone Man”.
2. Having your date order for you (um maybe I wanted the chicken?)
3. Rolling in money “Indecent Proposal” style.  Money is one of the dirtiest and most germ-infested things on the planet.

As a follow-up to last week’s list of 25 things a man should never say to a woman, after the jump are 25 things a woman should never say to a man.

1. But it didn’t mean anything, I promise
2. Is she prettier than I am?
3. It’s okay, it happens to everyone
4. It’s just a game
5. Let’s talk about it

“I am an Aquarius woman who has been with a Pisces man for four blissful months. Around the end of the fourth month, I was confronted by his other girlfriend whom I didn’t know existed. After hearing everything that went on and being so filled with fury, we both plotted and schemed to bring him down. But then, this man assured me that he had “emotionally” ended things with his girlfriend, that he never had sexual relations with her after meeting me and was planning to end it. We both agreed to bury the incident and try working on the relationship again.

The problem is, I continue to doubt and accuse him of lying to me when he is out with ‘friends’ and he can’t get over the things his other girlfriend told him about. She told him everything I said in anger and the things we plotted. Since then, he has not loved me the same and continually brings up the past every time we argue. I really love this man and want to work things out, but I wonder if things will ever be the same again. I feel as if my emotional walls are building back up and I am growing tired of my suspicion and his keeping a record of every wrong move. My birth date is 2/2/79, 9am, Korea. Please help.” —Ready to Give Up

Maybe it’s because we’re forced to deal with our families more than usual during the holidays, but these can be trying times for women without rings on their wedding fingers. Aunt Esther’s annual grab at your left hand and subsequent clucking over your naked ring finger is annoying, but you write it off because she’s senile and will die soon. When your cousin Myrna gasses on about her impending nuptials over eggnog, you actually feel a little sorry for her because you see the way her betrothed keeps eyeing her sister. But when your baby sister flashes the rock that her professor-turned-paramour put under the tree, you succumb to a little condition called “The Ring Tizzy.”

While we may be in disagreement over whether a woman should wait for a man to say “I love you” first, I think we can all agree that no woman ever wants to hear her many say any of these things:

1. Another woman’s name during sex
2. “You sound just like your mother.”
3. “You sound just like my ex-girlfriend.”
4. “Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.”
5. “Actually, I’m married.”

Miracle of miracles, the current economic crisis doesn’t look like it’s going to saddle you with major financial setbacks. Your significant other, however, hasn’t been so lucky. Whether your partner’s been laid off, forced to take a pay cut, or seen a formerly robust stock portfolio become awfully puny, it’s become quite clear that his or her financial future is looking grim. Though it makes you feel a little guilty, you’re beginning to re-evaluate whether, going forward, his or her financial situation will be able to provide or assist you with living the kind of lifestyle you’d like – or at least to which you’ve become accustomed. Are you being cold and superficial or wise and practical? We consulted Debra Mandel, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Dump that Chump! for advice on how you should best approach the situation.

My dilemma involves a man whom I’m extremely attracted to, but very ambivalent about romantically. We’re known each other for over a year and things either seem to move at a snail’s pace or just come to a screeching halt entirely. The last time we were in the same vicinity was sometime in October. He called me at 3am under the guise of being too drunk to drive. Being the kind soul that I am, I picked him up and let him crash at my place. I felt nervous and awkward, but my altruistic side won out. He apologized for his antics, swore up and down that he didn’t blame me for hating him, etc. Naturally, this fueled my frustration and I may have ripped into him a little about his actions towards me. We fooled around, but no intercourse occurred. This is the second time he’s stoked my fire just enough, but not enough to go all the way. I feel cautious because it feels like he is hiding something, but I can’t put my finger on what. I want to believe that he cares, but his broken words leave me doubting. It feels like I should walk away, but very time I seem to get to that point is when he happens to show up again. I don’t know whether this is one to walk away from or try to make a go at it. I don’t know if my head or my heart or both are right in this situation. My DOB is March 10, 1984 (birth time 5:30 pm Nassau, Bahamas) and his DOB is 12/4/1980.—When To Walk Away?

Though the stigma is lessening, men are still far more likely than women to let their depression go untreated. Blame it on Rambo, Brando, or the lure of the martini, but many guys still aren’t getting the help they need. As the traditionally stressful, dark days of winter set in, here are some signs that the guy you love might be suffering from more than a loss in fantasy football ...

Girlfriend break-ups can be just as traumatizing as regular old break-ups with boys. The process is even similar: the anger, sadness, mourning, and finally, acceptance. While you may not have left precious clothes, expensive facial lotion, or significant jewelry at her house, you do feel like a real part of your soul missing as there’s really nothing like a good girlfriend. What exactly happens when we decide (or our friend decides) we’re just not a good fit anymore?

It’s always tricky when the holidays arrive and you’re in a relatively new relationship. What do you get your boy or girlfriend after just a month? Or what about that odd three-month mark? You don’t want to go overboard, but you don’t want to under-buy and look like the thoughtless cheapo. Well, we’re here to help – we’ve compiled a list of holiday gift ideas for guys and girls at each of the pivotal relationship points.

If I have a daughter one day, among the many things I’ll teach her will be how to tie her shoes, to look both ways before crossing the street, to never end a sentence with a preposition, and to always let the man say “I love you” first. I’ll give her plenty of other relationship tips, too, like how it’s perfectly okay to ask a guy out, to make the first move, to even propose, but when it comes to the “L” word, the ball’s in the guy’s court. When this issue came up last week in my list of 30 things a woman shouldn’t do before 30, it caused a bit of commotion. “What is this, the Victorian era?” wrote one commenter, “if you truly love someone, tell them. Otherwise you’re just playing outdated coquettish games.” Another commenter put it more diplomatically: “I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘I love you’ first, but someone has to do it. It’s okay to take a few risks.” I appreciate both arguments and understand the sentiments behind them, but at the risk of having my feminist card revoked, I think it’s naïve for a woman to utter those three little words before a man does.

Ever since John Edwards explained away his affair with Rielle Hunter, saying, “I started to believe that I was special and became increasing egocentric”, we’ve been thinking about how it is just SUCH a dealbreaker to date a guy who’s a narcissist. After all, who wants to end up in a bitter divorce battle like Christie Brinkley, whose ex-husband, Peter Cook, (who admitted to lying and cheating) was diagnosed as narcissistic by a court psychiatrist during their publicized divorce trial proceedings. But how do you tell if a person is a narcissist before you get caught up in their web of egocentricity? We took a look at the actual key factors in the diagnosis for narcissism and found out that a lot of women we know have the real life experience to back up the facts. All the info you need to know, after the jump…