“I am an Aquarius (born Feb. 13th 1982) and my boyfriend is a Taurus (April 21st 1972). We’ve been together a few months and I have feelings for him, but his behavior confuses me. At first, he was all flowers and calling for no reason, but now he hardly ever calls. When we do meet it’s wonderful and he’s so loving! He sometimes talks about wanting to travel or buy a house, then casually asks me if I’d join him; but at the same time, he hasn’t planned our next rendez-vous himself for a while now. I feel rejected and neglected when he acts this way, but I’m afraid of scaring him off and being too needy if I say anything. So, I’m wondering if we went too fast at first, if he’s losing interest and is afraid to tell me, or if he’s maybe just trying to back off and see if I’m ‘the one’ or what?? So confused!” —Aquarius Lady

A women wrote to Salon.com’s resident advice columnist, Cary Tennis, and as usual, I was a little confused by his answer. That is to say, I really couldn’t figure out what his answer was. The woman wrote that she met a guy a few months ago on Craigslist’s “Just Friends” section. She was new to town and just looking for someone to hang out with, but it didn’t take long before things between them became a bit more romantic in nature. The problem is that when they were just “platonic,” the guy expressed how much he dislikes like blondes, as well as redheads, and that he’s “really only attracted to brunettes—dark brunettes, with dark brown hair and matching dark features.” Unfortunately, this woman is a strawberry blonde, and now she’s self-conscious about her hair color, especially since every time this guy talks about a “girl he thinks is good-looking, or thought was good-looking in the past or whatever, the issue of how dark her hair was always seems to come up in the same way that a normal guy might mention a woman’s legs.” Oh, and “until relatively recently,” she writes, “he was in an extremely long-term relationship with a girl who matched his “ideal” to a T. But he broke up with her. Then again, he’s also mentioned he’s mildly attracted to his cousin. What the hell is going on?”

While some women have trouble with breasts that droop or low-hanging butt cheeks, my heart has always been my least-resilient body part. Like Chet Baker once crooned, I fall in love too easily. And once it ends—especially when it’s not my idea—I tend to have a little trouble getting back up on that passion pony. The worst time was after a six-year relationship went kibosh (translation: he dumped me). I didn’t so much as kiss another man for two years. I know. It still makes me shudder.

Sure, I was busy moaning, moping, sobbing, and sighing for the first six or eight post-dump months, but by month 10, I thought I was ready to move on. For the next year and a half, I kept wondering, mostly aloud, to anyone within earshot, why nothing was happening. It was only in retrospect that I noticed what a basketcase I’d become…

After posting my most recent “Dating Amelia,” I got a very kind email from a reader asking for advice. I got her permission to answer the question on the site.

“I just recently discovered this website and I found a great deal of affinity for your situation, as I am going through the exact same thing myself.  I’ve read your ‘Dating Amelia’ posts and they are inspirational.  I do have a question for you though.  You seem to have no problem finding men who were interested in you.  How did you do this?  I never get approached by men and always turn out to be the girl they want to be friends with instead of date. I’m 26, in grad school, a book nerd and average-looking. How can someone like me attract a good man? I admit that I am terrified that I will never be enough for a man (this is the reason my ex said he was leaving, that I wasn’t enough).  I’ve been told that I might just have to wait until the men in my age group lower their standards, but I don’t want to be the girl someone just settles for.  You seem to be coping with this situation so well and moving on in healthy way.  Any advice you can offer would be much appreciated.”

I am a Sagittarius (11/27/75). About 12 years ago I met a Cancer (06/26/73) and from the beginning, it felt like there was an instant bond between us. Over the years we became really good friends and recently started dating. It’s been going well, though I don’t hear much from him. He goes out of town a lot, so I only get to spend time with him twice a month. During the times he’s been away, I’ve spent a lot of time with my single friends going out dancing and that’s when I met a younger Capricorn (12/27/87), who is fun, exciting and the best kisser ever. I’ve been spending less and less time with Cancer and more and more with Capricorn, but I’m not sure if there is any long term potential with him. I would really like to find someone to settle down with, but I just don’t know which one to choose, please help. —Saucy Sag

Dating coach Rachel Greenwald was on “The Today Show” this morning schlocking her new book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back. For the book, Greenwald conducted “in-depth” interviews with 1,000 men and in her interview this morning, she laid out the ten main reasons they cited for not calling a woman back. These aren’t so much “reasons,” it turns out, as they are 10 female stereotypes that scare guys away, because of course it’s never about the men and whatever issues THEY might have, but always about the mistakes women make and how screwed up they are. What’s the number one way to buck your particular stereotype and guarantee a call-back? “Be nice,” the dating coach instructs. Watch the full clip above for other insightful advice you never would have thought of on your own.

In my twenties, I dated a guy who was 12 years older than me. In my thirties, I went in the other direction, dating a dude 11 years my junior. (Don’t you dare call me a cougar!) Although both ended rather badly, I feel like that while the gaping age difference didn’t directly cause either relationship’s demise, it certainly didn’t help. Mostly because I wasn’t very graceful about handling it. 

So, learn from my mistakes. Whichever way your May/December relationship skews, there are certain pitfalls you should do your best to avoid.

I’m very much attracted to a guy who happens to have the same birthday as me (9/11/84 @ 6:30 pm, don’t know his time). After two drunken makeout sessions, I’m very confused because he has been running hot and cold with me for the past two months. We’re friends and I can’t figure out if he’s afraid to make a move for the sake of the friendship or if he’s not interested. I can’t help but think that it’s significant that we share the same birthday, but am I reading too much into it? —Confused

Recently, we found ourselves in Austin, Texas for South By Southwest’s Interactive Conference. It was a tornado of fish tacos, rain and excessive Twittering. But the rare occasion to have bloggers and big players in new media together for a week made it a perfect opportunity to ask their opinion on the web-couple’s ultimate dilemma: To blog or not to blog…

While watching your buddy cry her eyes out over some unworthy jerk isn’t nearly as painful as getting the heave-ho yourself, it’s still difficult. Most of us want to help our BFFs through breakups, but what do you say? Or, more importantly, what shouldn’t you say?

I’m a Cancer (born June 27, 1989) and my lover is a Virgo (born September 12, 1987). We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. We both have this emotional pull and undeniable attraction towards each other and think we’re soul mates, but something keeps bothering me. I feel like he picks on me a lot. He’s critical about the way I dress and how much I weigh. For example, the day we met, he poked my thigh and was like, “Maybe you should go to the gym and work out.” 

I don’t know if I’m being extra sensitive, which I am most of the time, but I love my curves and don’t want to change anything about my body. I run four times a week and eat healthy. Little things he says and does make me think maybe he’s not that into me, even though he claims to want to spend the rest of his life with me and wants me not to leave him. Am I being too sensitive for this harsh Virgo? Am I taking the little things too seriously? —Criticized Crab

The latest installment in the saga that is poor Jennifer Aniston’s love life is the news that she dumped sappy John Mayer because of his Twitter obsession. Apparently, John had been blowing off Jen for a while, claiming he was just too busy working to hang with her. When Aniston found out he wasn’t too busy to update Twitter every few minutes around the clock, she was livid. How to make sure you don’t suffer a similar fate? Pay attention to these top ten signs your significant other is becoming obsessed with Twitter, after the jump.

I have to admit, even after reading “Still life With Woodpecker” no less than about 5 or 6 times, I still have no idea how to make love stay. The most I gathered from the book, it has something to do with Camel cigarettes and since my relationship with smoking was a brief one, I’m afraid that tip is of no use to me. Thankfully, a new study published in the March issue of the Review of General Psychology found that a surprisingly high number of long-term couples, including some who had been married over 20 years, reported that they still felt deeply in love with their partners. The researchers draw a distinction between romantic love and passionate love. “Romantic love,” the researchers say, “has the same intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry as passionate love has, but without the obsession. Passionate love, on the other hand, includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.” Well, if that’s the case, I’ll take romance over passion any day. According to the researchers, there are some “tricks” to making that romantic kind of love endure for the long-term.

So, you’re sweating a dude like he’s a spin class. Girl, you know you got it baaaaaaaad! It’s exciting to crush on a dude, but it’s also potentially ego crushing and stupid.  When you can’t stop thinking about a man, you have to add some reason to those dirty thoughts or you could get hurt. Love might be blind, however, there are some eye opening clues that can help you decide whether he’s feeling you too! You should tell your crush you like him if (and that’s a big IF)...

Devil get behind me, it’s cold and flu season. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a mom who refused to categorize any of her five kids as officially “sick” unless fluids were exploding and the temperature hit well into the hundreds, but I am not the person you want taking care of you when you’re not feeling well.  Conversely, when I’m under the weather, the first thing out of my boyfriend’s mouth is always an offer to rub my chest down with alcohol just like his Greek mama used to do when he was a kid. No, thanks!

I’ve found there are two types of patients—the cranks and the crybabies. I’m more of a crank. I want glasses of cold water, complete silence for the duration, and whatever medications I’m taking within arm’s reach. Don’t talk to me if you don’t want to get yelled at.

I’m an energetic Aries and I’m getting involved in my first ever threesome relationship with two signs that are very compatible with mine—a very intriguing Sag woman and her awesome Gemini boyfriend. I know that the three of us should work out together, but is there any advice you can give me on how to keep things running smoothly in our happy partnership? I’m a little nervous about coming between them, is there anything I can do about that?—Two Become Three

I will start off with the players: Me, Leo 8/11/72, born approx 8:30pm, Eugene Oregon; my husband, a Virgo, 9/5/76, born in Kitchener Ontario, and the lover, a Gemini, 5/23/77, born in Poughkeepsie NY.

My husband and I married very quickly after being friends for a long time—there had always been some chemistry and attraction, but once we were married things really went downhill. It has reached the point that I don’t want to make the effort because I resent him so much, and also the lack of response and attention from him has affected my self-esteem.  We ‘took a break’ in August, this was a huge relief for me.  For a variety of reasons it is not possible for us to separate completely yet, and we continue to live together.  He wants to reconcile, I do not think I will ever be able to be happy in this relationship. To his credit, he is very committed to me and willing to work on the relationship, but I just don’t feel like he’s ever going to get it — get me, and that is a very lonely feeling within a relationship.

If you’re one of those girls who has a host of men in her life, but no one to bring to a wedding, you can’t remember the last time you had sex and it didn’t qualify as a “friends with benefits” situation, and you always end up being some sort of dating coach to the guys you’re really into, it’s time to get yourself out of the Friend Zone and into more datable territory. After the jump, seven ways to avoid the Friend Zone.

Like everyone else, I’ve been glued to the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle, and was saddened when I read reports that she might get back together with someone who left her so bruised and battered.

But here’s the thing: loads of couples breakup and then make-up and sometimes things work out great. But knowing when, and under what circumstances, to forgive and forget is key, and most of us won’t know until we’re thrust into that situation. Here are six scenarios to consider…

Recently, a guy wrote in to Times Online seeking some relationship advice. His girlfriend has size FF breasts, you see, and is considering a reduction surgery and he’s concerned his feelings for her will change if she goes through with it. He writes: “She says her breasts restrict her and weigh her down, but the operation sounds brutal. I love her the way she is and worry that I won’t feel the same about her afterwards. How can I persuade her to change her mind?”