Have we been hit so hard by the recession that women have started making tank tops from men’s briefs? We hope not.

As a single person, it sometimes feels as if the world is partial to couples. Perhaps you’re like me—tired of checking that “single” box on your tax return while your married counterparts file jointly and gleefully claim dependents. You see a family buying in bulk at the supermarket and wish you could take such cost-saving measures without having to eat spaghetti every night for a month. Or you wonder what you’d do with the extra cash if your rent was suddenly halved.

Sure, families get tax breaks and cohabitaters have lower living expenses, but there are some financial upsides to being on your own, especially during an economic downturn. The truth is, with fewer responsibilities, singles are freer to take risks and find novel ways of coping with the stress of a Great Recession. Finally, the singletons have some advantages.

Most little girls have dreamed about actually living Madonna’s “Material Girl” video at some point. I mean, who doesn’t want a diamond ring for every finger? This greedy dream is slightly more attainable now that luxury retailers like Tiffany & Co., Cartier, Judith Ripka, Di Modolo, and Damiani have started offloading their wares through the Madison Avenue Sample Sale, which brings high-end products straight from the designers’ showrooms to various cities across the country. The next sample sale is in New York City, but you should check the website to see when your city will play host. Soon you’ll be able to shop online also. Here’s a big thank you to the recession! [Madison Avenue Sample Sale via NYMag.com]

After reading a recent report from the BBC stating that the current recession may have more negative than positive effects on our dating life, I started thinking about whether this was really true. Yes, money worries can be a huge obstacle to relationship building, but as the author of the report, relationship psychologist Susan Quillam, points out, surely animal attraction offers the most reliable and least expensive source of comfort when times get rough, right?

In a recession, people want escapism and a happy ending. The depressing economic situation has lead to an increase in sales of romance novels, while most other genres are having a difficult time selling at all. Harlequin Enterprises, the grande dame of the romance genre, reported a 32 percent increase in 2008 earnings during the fourth quarter, compared to a year earlier. Sales in the first quarter of 2009 also remained strong, said Harlequin’s chief executive. During the Great Depression, Gone With the Wind was a blockbuster book, and readers today are looking for a similar escape from the harsh reality of foreclosures, lay-offs, and rising prices. Romance novels not only provide a welcome happy ending, but they’re also cheap, which is a plus for anyone trying to limit their guilty pleasures spending. Most paperback novels sell for $7.99 or less, compared to larger trade paperbacks that cost $12 to $15. It’s not clear, however, how much it will cost your ego if you’re caught reading a sappy romance novel in public. [NY Times]

Marrying for health insurance is nothing new. Even I proposed to two men when my health insurance was canceled recently (sadly, they both said no). But even when love isn’t the complete reason for getting married, most couples still have enough time to plan their dream wedding, whatever that may be. Things worked out differently, however, for writer Carrie Sloan, who wed her fiance Adam Lisberg in the 36 hours between being laid off and April 1, the deadline to be added to his health insurance.

The rich get richer and the poor get babies. Well, not anymore! These tough times aren’t gonna stop hardworking American men, just their sperm. According to CNN, the recession is responsible for a rise in the number of vasectomies and urologists are cashing in by sealing vas deferens!

This is your mother speaking. You really shouldn’t be getting takeout for lunch every day. Not only are you throwing all of your money away, but you’re not eating all of your food groups! Why don’t you make something yummy for dinner and then pack it in a cute, reusable bag and take it to work? Martha Stewart even suggests a packable lunch recipe every day on her site, so you won’t need to waste a minute thinking about what to eat. You (and your wallet) will thank me when you’re older.

While the recession has screwed everyone, it’s really sticking it to a Romanian virgin. Grace Yataco, a Peruvian model, was offered 1.5 million for the chance to pluck her lady flower. Chaste Italian “Big Brother” star Rafaella Fico was offered 1.8 million dollars to be a whore on more than reality television. And here in the U.S., college student Natalie Dylan has been hocking her hymen to the highest bidder—so far, she’s got a $3.8 million dollar offer on the table. But for some reason, 18-year-old Alina Percea, from Romania, has only been offered a mere $7,000 in exchange for a whole weekend’s worth of sex. The beautiful, busty brunette is trying to raise enough money to go to college. But next to million dollar offers pouring in from pervs in other countries, it begs the question, what’s she doing wrong?

Turns out our turd economy is good for one thing: stripping. Applications to jobs in the adult entertainment industry have risen like adolescent boy schlongs in the last year. Today’s flashdancer could be a sad hottie simply downsized from her job at an imploding international investment bank…

It’s better than an unemployment check. One night’s work at the gentleman’s club Sin City in NYC brings in an average of $1000. Dancers at Rick’s Caberet in Miami will fold up to 300,000 sweaty dollar bills into their g-strings this year. Recently, 200 women showed up for a job fair at the Foxy Lady in Providence, R.I.

Back in January we reported that new data suggested more women were dying their hair blonde during the recession. Catherine speculated that the added boost in confidence from going blonde might increase a woman’s number of free drinks at a bar, something we can all appreciate during these lean economic times. But now a conflicting report says that one in three blond female employees is going darker in an attempt to keep their jobs during this economic downturn. Researchers found that 62% of people think brunettes look more professional than blondes, prompting 31% of female employees to go back to their roots.

In this recession, we’re all tight with our spending, but we don’t want to scrimp on sexy time!  So, it’s not shocking adult toy sales are still strong (except in France), but why pay top dollar when the goods are free?  Yes we can get creative in these hard (no pun intended) times! Here are our suggestions to put the pinch in penny pinching with sexy stuff under five bucks…

Contrary to what’s going on here in the U.S., sales of sex toys, massage oils, and other kinky stuff have declined in France, according to vendors at Big Eropolis, an erotic fair near Paris. Attendance has been about the same as last year, said the fair’s organizer, but visitors are buying less. “We always managed to sell [customers] two or three items,” said a vendor. “Now, alas, they leave with one single item. We feel the impact.” To some visitors, the decline in sales didn’t make sense because people tend to like having fun at home during a recession, which is why sex toy sales have jumped in the U.S. Maybe the French are just more ingenious than Americans and don’t need toys? Or maybe there has been a spike in banana and cucumber sales, instead. [Reuters]

Ten years ago, Gwyneth Paltrow was a Hollywood golden girl.  She won an Oscar, she dated Brad Pitt, and then she married a rock star. (Okay, he’s more like an emo star.) She even popped out a couple of cute kids and nobody said boo when she gave Apple and Moses silly names. 

But, with the GOOP blog and the rabbit-food-diet rumors, Goldilocks is so tarnished, it’s no wonder she’s out of touch. Nobody wants to join Gwyn’s new NYC gym, which she is starting up later this year with her (and Madonna’s) trainer, Tracy Anderson, because the price is so ridiculous. Girlfriend wants $4,500 just to join, plus hundreds of dollars each month in fees.  Just to exercise! What recession?! Gym representatives are cold-calling potential customers, but instead of joining, they’re just laughing, padlocking their wallets, and calling the tabloids. [NY Post]

A recent essay on The Daily Beast asks, “Do Male Enhancement Pills Really Work?” My response—who cares? Men clearly, but they shouldn’t. As the economy tanks, men not only make up the majority of those who’ve been laid off, they also are more likely than women to not handle it very well. Are men suddenly even more desperate to grow their wangs because they’re coming up short financially? If so, what a wasted endeavor—whether male enhancement pills (and contraptions and extenders) work or not is irrelevant. It’s how you use your member that really enhances your sexual resume, fellas.

We keep hearing that industries related to sex and dating are some of the only ones not being affected by the recession. Apparently, sex is one of those things that doesn’t need to be eliminated from people’s lives, even when their wallets are thin. After all, it’s free! Of course, extra equipment and accessories cost money. In past months, sales at sex toy boutique Babeland and lingerie stores like La Petite Coquette have seen an increase in sales, even while other parts of the economy have plummeted. Now, one sex toy company is coming to the rescue of women who have lost their jobs during these hard times.