Bravo isn’t stupid. When they hit on a show that works, there is little deviation from the original formula. On last night’s “Real Housewives of New Jersey,” the gals from Jersey proved they were serious housewife material. I found five similarities between the Garden State cast and those from the OC, Atlanta, and NYC, but, trust me, these women fit Bravo’s “Housewives”-bot mold perfectly. Here’s why ...

I may have missed liveblogging last week’s episode, but I’ve since caught up with my watching, and, dudes, this s**t is awesome. Dina’s lips are so glossy. Teresa’s hair is so big, and her bubbies are so small. And Caroline. Oh, Caroline. The mama of the group. This show is like that terrible TV movie “La Bella Mafia,” only, well, not as awesome.

Bravo’s “Real Housewives” series has traveled across the Hudson to the Garden State for its latest installment, and New Jersey was made for this show. Starting next week, Amelia and her consigliere John DeVore will be liveblogging every episode. Get excited! The newest housewives (Jacqueline, Teresa, Danielle, Dina, and Caroline), their “construction” workers husbands, big hair, big nails, and McMansions decorated like a Medieval Times dinner show won’t let us down. Seeing as though I can’t survive a Tuesday without a h’wife episode, here are the top five moments of Jerz genius so far.

I have a substance abuse problem. The substance is any iteration of “The Real Housewives” on Bravo. There, I said it. In any case, I endured “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” enjoyed “The Real Housewives of New York City,” and suffered “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” but nothing, nothing beats how totally awesome “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” looks. There are a bunch of shouty sisters all looking like they can’t wait to slit someone’s neck, and I’ve already got a favorite quote that I intend to use at any and every opportunity: “I don’t like you before I like you.” Bitches are hardcore. That’s how they role in the Garden State, dammit!