India may be the home of the Kama Sutra, but according to a new law, everyone in the country will now be forced type with both hands. Their new Information Technology Bill has officially banned internet porn, and the sentences are stiff. If you get caught red handed, the po-po can arrest you and throw you in the slammer for up to FIVE years. Plus, you could be slapped with a fine of up to 1 million rupees—which, egads, is about $20,000 smackeroos. Plus, this law has now given the authorities the right to raid any international sexy sites and comb its users for criminals. Although the penalties are soley for Indians, the bill gives the authorities jurisdiction that includes UK sites, now making Hush-Hush.com a total misnomer.

Sheesh, it’s times like these we get all patriotic. God bless America, land that I love, and where I can make sweet to love myself.[AVN via Nerve]

Mary Carey, born Mary Ellen Cook, went on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” to quit her addiction to drugs and alcohol. While she was there, Dr. Drew Pinsky encouraged her to give up her porn career because, he felt, the lifestyle was a threat to her recovery, especially since, he believed, she was a sex addict, too. He wanted her to go back to who she really was—Mary Ellen—and create a new life for herself. It lasted for awhile, but Mary Carey is back to porn in a new movie: “Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw.” How does the doc feel about being the inspiration for her return to porn? His tweet on the matter after the jump.

Check out this clip from the “Cosby Show” porn spoof, “Not The Cosby Show XXX.” Don’t worry, it’s safe for work. The guy who plays “Cliff F**kstable” does a dead on impression of Bill Cosby! No word yet on how he performs during the film’s sex scenes, but I hope he wins an AVN Award for his impersonation.

We should’ve known it was coming. In the same vein as “Nailin’ Paylin,” a porn spoof based on Nadya Suleman, the woman who birthed octuplets now known as “OctoMom,” is about to hit an adult video store near you. Naturally, the title came easily. “CoctoMom” will spoof the baby-obsessed mom’s need for sperm donors. I, for one, am frightened.

Likewise, the “Twilight” franchise is getting its own XXX movie in the form of “Twilight of Virginity,” which, I guess, is about vampires sucking blood and popping cherries. Which of these two do you think will be the most successful? [Examiner]

Brett and Kate McKay are the husband/wife team behind the Art of Manliness, which seeks to help men “be better husbands, better fathers, and better men.” Brett was turned off by traditional men’s magazines like Men’s Health because they were filled with articles about sex and six-pack abs. “Was this all there was to being a man?” he asks.

It should come as no surprise that Brett has a big problem with porn. After all, it’s filled with men with six-pack abs having sex. In “The Problem with Porn,” he warns men that porn “saps your manliness” and lists five reasons why. Our Mind of Man has shared his perspective on guys and porn, and when I IM’d him about the article, he wrote back, “Porn is sexy. Too much porn is bad. Wine is yummy. Too much is bad.” But if porn saps a guy’s manliness, what does it do to women?

I’ve tried to get my boyfriends to watch guy-on-guy porn with me. Yhey’re game to watch pseudo-lesbians paw each other, but they draw the line at man love. But there’s a lot a guy could learn about sex by watching two dudes go at it. So, I’ve decided to give guys the cheat sheet on what they could learn from gay porn.

Porn has played a starring role in my two most recent relationships—but not in the way you might expect.

Were you born to be a porn star? Me neither. But that’s the premise of “Born to Be a Star.” Written and produced by Adam Sandler, the comedy focuses on a Middle American nerd, played by Nick Swardson, who discovers that his parents were porn stars. Christina Ricci plays the born-into-porn dude’s girlfriend and Stephen Dorff will put in an appearance as a legendary woodsman known as “Dick Shadow.” Of course, the story idea isn’t so out there so as not to be believed. Actress Thora Birch of “American Beauty” fame? Both her parents were porn stars. Her mother, Carol Connors, appeared in “Deep Throat,” on the set of which she met Thora’s father, Jack Birch. Also? Her mother, uh, performed with John Holmes in “The Erotic Adventures of Candy.” Now that’s got to be embarrassing. [Variety] Want to find out more about Hollywood stars’ secret porn pasts? Click here.

Adult film star Marilyn Chambers, who became the face of the “porno chic” movement of the ‘70s, has died at 57. The star of one of the most famous adult movies in history, “Behind the Green Door,” Marilyn Ann Briggs started out a far cry from the adult industry. Born into a middle-class family and raised in Providence, Rhode Island, her most famous mainstream modeling gig was as a mother holding a baby on the cover of a box of Ivory Snow soap. In 1972, the San Francisco-based Mitchell brothers approached Chambers about starring in “Green Door.” After the movie’s premiere, Proctor & Gamble dumped her from their Ivory Snow campaign and recalled all product and advertising with her image on it. Over the following years, Chambers continued to return to the adult movie industry and confessed to having struggled with alcohol and drug addictions. Yesterday, she was found dead in her Santa Clarita mobile home by her daughter. The cause of death remains unknown.

University of Maryland students won’t have the opportunity to see the new $10 million, woman-directed porn “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” because the student union caved after being pressured from a local lawmaker who threatened to pull state funding from the school’s budget. So far, the flick, loosely based on “Pirates of the Caribbean,” has been screened at several other top schools, including UCLA, Northwestern, and Carnegie Mellon. Maryland state Sen. Andy Harris was thrilled when the University of Maryland opted not to show the film: “Students can’t light up a cigarette in the student union but can watch a hardcore XXX porn film. Occasional viewing of porn is more dangerous than occasionally lighting up a cigarette. If the movie is being shown for educational reasons, someone should be presenting the dangers too. Porn breaks up lives.” You know what else breaks up lives? Prudish views. [ABC News]

“See it with someone you ****.” Well, that‘s a movie tagline I haven’t seen before. The movie is Steven Soderbergh’s “The Girlfriend Experience,” which takes a peek behind the curtain at the real life of a high-end call girl. The movie’s star? Sasha Grey, a porn star. [Buzzfeed]

It has recently come to my attention that there are ladies out there who think that their man drooling over pornography is tantamount to adultery. If you truly believe this, you should either dump him ASAP, with extreme prejudice, or accept that you’re going to have to live with his mistress. Dudes watch porn.

“It all seemed much more surgical than I’d ever imagined it would be. I mean, I saw the insides of body parts I had never even seen the outside of before.”

—Seth Rogen on finding his first porno when he was 11 years old. [Found Magazine]

Painter Justine Lai’s series of erotic oil paintings depicting the artist banging it out with U.S. Presidents massage two nerdy pleasure centers: history and sex. Are you reading this, History Channel? Less Nazis, more Presidential pegging please! The artist’s intent is to break down the mythological idea of the President, expose their inherent humanity and vulnerability, and to comment on the relationship between sex and politics. Since, after all, power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. The work could easily have been an adolescent lark, a snarky art nerd having some frat fun with former Commanders-in-Chief. Instead the paintings transcend this, and end up being rude, gentle, and compelling. Maybe even sexy? Also, you’d never think Abraham Lincoln would close his eyes while getting a knobber. [JustineLai.com via BoingBoing]

Finally. The adult movie every geek on the planet has spent his whole life waiting for: “This Ain’t Star Trek XXX.” As of late, Hustler Video has been on a bit of a roll, scoring with hot topic porn movies like “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin: Adventures of a Hockey MILF” and X-rated remakes of TV classics like “Not the Cosby’s XXX.” Now, they’ve decided to tackle the Star Trek franchise—Hustler’s “biggest production yet,” the press release crows!—with pornteur Axel Braun at the helm and sex on the bridge and in the transporter room. Hot. Can’t wait to see what Spock looks like nekkid. Does Uhura do anal? Is Kirk kinky? Does Bones bone? Ah, never mind. Just watch the not very revealing trailer. 

Our beloved Huxtables, who very rarely dealt with sex even though dad Cliff was a gynecologist, are being turned into a porn spoof called “Not The Cosby’s XXX,” which X-Play and Hustler Video started filming in December 2008. Hopefully, the actor who plays Cliff won’t make any references to Jello Pudding while he engages in a lot of hard-core action. And I’m guessing there’s going to be some incest going on. Back in the late ‘80s, women envied Denise Huxtable for her unapologetic style, and men just wanted to date her because she was cute, but not overly sexy. Never did we expect to watch Huxtables getting down and dirty in Denise’s bedroom—a set for the spoof has been rigged to resemble Denise’s boudoir. Check out a SFW photo of the cast after the jump. [NYPost.com]

Top porn company, Vivid Entertainment, is currently remaking the classic “Deep Throat,” and they’re apparently offered the OctoMom, Nadya Suleman, $1 million to show her baby-maker at work on camera. While many of us can’t even get health and dental insurance from our mainstream jobs, Vivid also threw in benefits for her and her whole family if she’d become one of their naked contract stars.  Plus, she’d also get bejeweled with the official Vivid girl necklace! How could she turn all those perks down?

Yesterday we told you about porn star Jenna Jameson’s new perfume, “Heartbreaker,” and speculated about the scents other celebs might put out. But the question that is still weighing on my mind is, “Who in the hell would buy a fragrance concocted by a porn star?” (To be fair, I have a similar cluelessness about scents put out by trashy hos like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.) But the fragrance industry isn’t the only mainstream endeavor that porn stars have tried to infiltrate. After the jump, five products (that are not sex toys or sex dolls) created by members of the adult entertainment industry.

MAKE IT STOP. OctoMom, a.k.a. Nadya Suleman, a.k.a. the brood-having, Angelina Jolie-wannabe, has been offered $1 million to star in an adult movie. I think my head just exploded. The offer comes from Vivid Entertainment, one of the adult industry’s biggest product companies—it’s like the 20th Century Fox of smut, or, well, not. If Suleman joins the Vivid porn star ranks to become a Vivid Girl, she’ll be sisters-in-porn with a celebrity-gone-XXX roster that includes Pam Anderson, Kim Kardashian, and former Miss USA Kelli McCarty. (An Oscar-nominated lineup that ain’t.) The offer comes from the uber-tan CEO of Vivid, Steve Hirsch, the dude responsible for turning Janine, Savannah, and Ginger Lynn into mega-porn stars. Of course, considering that Janine is headed off to jail in a couple weeks, Savannah blew her brains out, and Ginger—well, I don’t know what Ginger is up to these days—OctoMom going PornoMom may not be such a good idea. But, hey, it’d pay the bills. Not to mention keep the octuplets in diapers for a couple years. [TMZ]

The best things in life are free.  Unfortunately, the porn industry is learning that lesson the hard way as sales go soft (zing!). Down 20-30%, Larry Flynt and Joe Francis have asked for a financial fluffer to help adult entertainment companies in their time of need.  But it’s not just magazines and DVDs that are feeling the squeeze; the Internet has been screwed up too!  Thanks to amateur porn on YouTube-like sites, porn that doesn’t require payment is easier to find than a swinger party. In a recession, that’s good news for broke consumers who are worried they’re going to lose their jobs, but what about the billion dollar adult industry? Can porn still make a buck in this tight economy?  If you ask an entrepreneur named Trixie, she’ll say, “F**k yes!”