Items tagged porn:
We hear about relationships torn apart by internet porn addiction, but where are the support groups for smut-loving women like me, who suddenly and inexplicably get turned off by porn when they fall in love? Before I met my boyfriend, I was visiting youporn.com about a half an hour a day, hunting through dozens of clips to find the one most perfectly calibrated to turn me on.
If we want to get turned on and don’t have a man around, we can put on a dirty movie, magazine, or “art” book. But what do blind people do? There are erotic audiobooks, but they’re mostly read without much emotion by a single person. Lud Romano saw that this market was under-served in erotic material and began producing recorded “plays.”
After seeing “Bruno,” one of my male friends went on a 5-minute rant about how penises in movies are always played for laughs. In his opinion, the nudity law of cinema is that when a woman’s naked, it’s completely serious or titillating, but when a peen pops up on screen, it’s meant to be hilarious. He repeatedly asked the question—why?
Hustler, who brought you “Nailin’ Paylin” and The XXX Cosby Show featuring The F**kstables, has finally spoofed another pop culture coochie: Lindsay Lohan. While LiLo used to be one of the hardest working girls in show business, now it seems she can’t even get a role playing herself in a porno! Although, maybe this adult movie has finally figured out the timeless Hollywood career question, “Who Do I Have To Blow To Get A Job Around Here?” Answer: Samantha Ronson, Scarlett Johansson, Paris Hilton, and porn king of peens, Ron Jeremy. Hm, we think they forgot top dog producer Harvey Weinstein....
Fascinating topic on “The Tyra Show” today—gay for pay porn actors! In the clip above, Tyra asks a married father of three why he prefers to, ahem, receive presents rather than give them. TyTy has such a knack for making XXX subject matter seem G-rated.
Not that pornos are exactly known for their profound plot lines, but as more people prefer to get off online, “scripts” and “acting” in porn videos and DVDs are being replaced by more raunchtastic sex. In probably the lamest complaint ever, porn stars are whining that adult video production companies are losing the storyline by tailoring to online technology. Gone are the days of 1970s favorites like “Deep Throat” and the 2005 hit “Pirates.” Now porn production companies are catering to viewers by making shorter, more easily downloadable clips and using themes or mini-plots to tie the disparate pieces together, like “Girls ‘n Glasses” produced by New Sensations. We’ve always thought porn plots were pretty amusing, so we don’t know if we’re excited about this change. Also, what about all those porn stars hoping that their work will launch them into a mainstream acting career? Wait, has that happened to anyone besides Sasha Grey? Regardless, if you’re a true “movie buff” then don’t miss “2040” by Digital Playground. The company’s president told the NY Times “2040” is “an almost Romeo-and-Juliet story between an aging porn star and a cyborg.” Sounds like a real tearjerker. [NY Times]
Oh, look how cute, little Jimmy, on his class trip! Hey, look at Suzy raising her hand in class! Uhhh, is that Miss Defanti? What is she doing? Why yes, kids, that is your fifth-grade teacher lying naked in bed with her legs spread wide open. Crystal Defanti, a fifth-grade teacher from Sacramento, California, gave her twenty-five students a DVD to take home at the end of the school year. The DVD showed a years worth of class activities….but also an eight-second clip of her lying naked with her legs spread. All a huge horrifying mistake (for everyone involved—imagine having to explain to your fifth-grader what she was doing?), the teacher hadn’t realized that her homemade sex video was on the tape and called the families hysterically the next morning, sobbing, apologizing and asking them to stop any further students from viewing it. Beyond mortifying.
We already told you about “Not The Cosby Show XXX”, “Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw”, “Keeping It Up With The Kard-ASS-ians”, “This Ain’t Star Trek XXX”, and reports on the trend of porn companies like Hustler Video looking to television for inspiration, writing:
The twist now is going the extra mile to invest projects with better production values that actually have scripts and genuinely resemble the source material. There are stories, plots and even sex-free versions to accentuate the parody—however incongruous that might sound—on Blu-ray editions.
Uh, sex free versions? Now what’s the point of THAT? [Variety]
Does anyone else thinks it’s crazy that China has gone apes**t on the porn industry? Yes, porn has been illegal in China since 1949, and there were big old crackdowns on “spiritual pollution” in the 1980s. But recently, the government decided to really get down and dirty with the industry. In 2002, they passed a law whereby censors can look at normal folks’ emails and websites to make sure there was no questionable content involved. Then in 2005, the government locked up Chen Hui, the creator of China’s biggest porn site, and sentenced him to life in prison. In May, the government shut down Love Land, a sex-themed amusement park, before it even opened. Last week, the government started blocking Google on some computers because, well, it’s obviously the portal to sin. Starting on Wednesday, every single computer sold in China will automatically have software installed to keep the owner from surfing for or downloading porn.
This Sunday, June 28, at 10 p.m., HBO is premiering a new show, “Hung.” Guess what it’s about? A guy who turns to prostitution to make a living. Step aside, “Belle de Jour.” Get out of here, “The Girlfriend Experience.” Call-girls are, like, so 2008. 2009 is all about guys who sell their bodies to make ends meet. The dramatic comedy stars Thomas Jane as Ray Drecker, an all-star high school athlete who ends up as a high school basketball coach whose wife dumps him for her dermatologist. Casting about for something to do with his life and make some money, Drecker takes note of his well-endowed physique and sets about renting it out by the hour. Uh, “The Sopranos” it ain’t. It’s “Boogie Nights” meets the recession! Are you going to tune in or tune it out?
“Hi, Honey!” I said as I poked my head out from the kitchen. “How was the gangbang at the bowling alley?” My husband swung through the front door lugging film equipment.
“Pretty whatever,” he said. “Four massive dudes and two roller girls.”
We were newlyweds. Ours was not your typical greeting.
By now we know the three bodacious babes known as he Kardashian sisters are more than a little difficult to keep up with. But Hustler has found a way to do it: exploitation. They’ve lined up a trio of beautiful—and busty—brunettes for a classy new DVD called “Keeping It Up for the Kard-ASS-ians.” If the title isn’t clever enough for you, the tag line has to be! “Their name? Infamous. Their lifestyle? Privileged. Their M.O? To be the biggest sluts possible.” The film, which is already a hit on the web, is available in DVD or Blu Ray for a modest $41.99. Hustler would have been right on the cutting edge if Kim herself hadn’t beat them to the punch with her home-spun porn classic featuring Ray J.
Have you been tested lately? California health officials announced yesterday that an actress in the porn industry has been diagnosed with HIV––just another reminder to be safe when you’re having fun in bed. This is the first publicized case of HIV from the industry since 2004 (although the California health records show 22 HIV cases total since 2004). According to Steven Hirsch, an executive at Vivid Entertainment Group, the adult film industry has pumped out over 100,000 films since 2004 (whoa that’s an insane amount of porn), so having this few cases shows how successful the health practices have been in the business. While actors are required to be tested within 30 days of doing a shoot, and HIV cases have been very low, the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation reports that approximately 15 actors every week test positive for other infections. I will stop with the scary statistics about the icky infections and just provide you with a little PSA from your mother at The Frisky: use condoms, get tested and have safe fun! [Fox News]
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa-dies! We’ve got a new porno mag out over in England!
But unfortunately, Filament received a sour review from the Daily Mail, which hissed, “Most of the boys pictured are effeminate and not arousing.”
Indeed, we, too, are flabbergasted with Filament‘s idea of what makes women wet. Apparently it’s skinny boy-men with soft features who either outright look like Rufus Wainwright or look like Rufus groupies. The porn mag’s web site explains Filament relied on both published academic research and their own online research to discover what turns women on and they came up with specifics like “men who are not muscle-bound” and “men with more feminine face shapes.”
No thanks! To each her own, we guess.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to surfing the Internet, Hustler has announced it’s got yet another adult movie spoofing the life and times of former vice-presidential candidate and governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. When it comes to XXX, Palin moves product, apparently. First, there was “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?” Then, there was “Obama Is Nailin’ Palin.” (Guess we got that question answered.) Now, the X-rated empire Larry Flynt built is producing “Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin,” in which, among other surely tawdry deeds, “Sarah Palin” gets it on with “Tina Fey” playing Sarah Palin on “SNL.” It’s all so confusing. In any case, the sure to be, um, fascinating latest homage to the politician who will not go away is set to be released early this summer. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing. By which I mean politics. [Sexaminer]
India may be the home of the Kama Sutra, but according to a new law, everyone in the country will now be forced type with both hands. Their new Information Technology Bill has officially banned internet porn, and the sentences are stiff. If you get caught red handed, the po-po can arrest you and throw you in the slammer for up to FIVE years. Plus, you could be slapped with a fine of up to 1 million rupees—which, egads, is about $20,000 smackeroos. Plus, this law has now given the authorities the right to raid any international sexy sites and comb its users for criminals. Although the penalties are soley for Indians, the bill gives the authorities jurisdiction that includes UK sites, now making Hush-Hush.com a total misnomer.
Sheesh, it’s times like these we get all patriotic. God bless America, land that I love, and where I can make sweet to love myself.[AVN via Nerve]
Mary Carey, born Mary Ellen Cook, went on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” to quit her addiction to drugs and alcohol. While she was there, Dr. Drew Pinsky encouraged her to give up her porn career because, he felt, the lifestyle was a threat to her recovery, especially since, he believed, she was a sex addict, too. He wanted her to go back to who she really was—Mary Ellen—and create a new life for herself. It lasted for awhile, but Mary Carey is back to porn in a new movie: “Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw.” How does the doc feel about being the inspiration for her return to porn? His tweet on the matter after the jump.
Check out this clip from the “Cosby Show” porn spoof, “Not The Cosby Show XXX.” Don’t worry, it’s safe for work. The guy who plays “Cliff F**kstable” does a dead on impression of Bill Cosby! No word yet on how he performs during the film’s sex scenes, but I hope he wins an AVN Award for his impersonation.
We should’ve known it was coming. In the same vein as “Nailin’ Paylin,” a porn spoof based on Nadya Suleman, the woman who birthed octuplets now known as “OctoMom,” is about to hit an adult video store near you. Naturally, the title came easily. “CoctoMom” will spoof the baby-obsessed mom’s need for sperm donors. I, for one, am frightened.
Likewise, the “Twilight” franchise is getting its own XXX movie in the form of “Twilight of Virginity,” which, I guess, is about vampires sucking blood and popping cherries. Which of these two do you think will be the most successful? [Examiner]
TM & © 2009 Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
