“I would say that none of those people know me at all, and that’s just a judgment. I’m not addicted. If I were addicted, I would have had 10 plastic surgeries.”

— Heidi Montag on “Good Morning America” this morning responding to people who are calling her addicted to plastic surgery. I guess she must have forgotten the ten plastic surgeries she had in one day?! [via People]

Is plastic surgery addiction contagious? British great grandma Annette Edwards, 57, has been obsessed with Jessica Rabbit ever since “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” came out. Recently, she went on a stringent diet, got her boobs lifted, opted for cheek and chin implants, bought a red wig, and invested in red sequin dress—all to look like her favorite character. In the end, she spent $16,000 on the transformation. Check Annette out in the clip above from a British morning show this week, and try not to get depressed at the part where she says she can’t stand up after injuring her back. “I just love being Jessica,” she says before explaining that she’s done this to “inspire mature women.” Also, very oddly, Annette is into breeding rabbits and brought one of her record holder bunnies on the show with her. Totally normal. [Asylum]

We’re not usually ones to blow up a celeb’s plastic surgery spot, and we’re not saying “Real Housewife” Danielle Staub actually made a trip to the get-younger-and-slimmer doctor but ... Yeah, the next season of table-flipping, shenanigan-fun won’t catch her with a surprised look on her face—well, beyond the one’s she’s got now, and forever more! [NYC, 1/5/10]

The always ingenious Copyranter points us to a couple of super-creepy ads from Canadian plastic surgeon Dr. Wayne R. Perron. In the future, you may need a walker, but, don’t worry, your face will be forever freakishly young. After the jump, check out what weirdness is in store for the dudes.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Is Tiger Woods hiding from the public eye because Elin Nordegren busted him in the face so bad with a golf club that he had to fly to Phoenix for plastic surgery?

That’s what a letter posted on the gossip blog Hollywood Interrupted is claiming. Blogs Gawker and Deadspin both say the letter is a hoax, as it is supposedly written by a close confidante of Woods’ agent, who also happens to be one of Woods’ neighbors. Probably true—hoaxes are hot right now! Anyway, the dirtiest dirt, after the jump ...

You thought health care reform was all about boring stuff like health insurance, didn’t you? Well, it’s far more fabulous than that: Washington, D.C.‘s finest are fretting over several medical procedures of interest to the casts of “Jersey Shore” and “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” including Botax and fake baking.

The latest news? A tax on plastic surgery is out, while a tax on indoor tanning is in.

• Ick, ick, ick: a plastic surgeon’s office in Connecticut had its license suspended after the discovery of egregious health violations, including MOUSE POOP on the surgery tools. Dr. Teresita Mascardo’s Plastic Surgery Center had nine violations including re-sealed one-use instruments with bodily fluids on them and an unlicensed anesthesiologist. Yet another reason to be skeezed out by plastic surgery (as if leaky boob jobs weren’t enough!). [ABC News]
• An Oklahoma judge could decide today on scary legislation that would require physicians to post details about abortions online. Doctors would be forced to post online a woman’s age, race, marital status and years of education, among other details, and opponents of the law say that info steps over the bounds of protecting women’s privacy. Explained Wanda Jo Stapleton, who brought a lawsuit against the state, “Nosy neighbors with some effort could identify or, even worse, misidentify these women who answer these questions.” [CNN]

Design duo Lucy McRae and Dutch Bart Hess call this “low-tech plastic surgery.” We call it freeeeeeeaky. [The Cut]

I try to keep an open mind about plastic surgery, I really do. I try to tell myself that it’s just like dying your hair or wearing a pair of Spanx—a little tweak that can make you feel super slammin’. I try to tell myself that everyone has the right to look their best, and if it’s worth it to someone to drop serious Benjamins on a cosmetic procedure, who am I to object? But then I read a story like the one yesterday about Solange Magnano, the stunning 38-year-old former Miss Argentina who died after the liquid from a gluteoplasty injection made its way into her lungs and brains. It’s horribly sad, especially considering that her butt was enviable just the way it was. And I just can’t hold it in anymore: How have we created a culture in which it’s OK to go under the knife without medical necessity in the name of fixing some “flaw” no one ever noticed anyway?

Solange Magnano, a former Miss Argentina, died days after having a gluteoplasty in Buenos Aires. The 38-year-old, who was the mother of twins, spent three days in critical condition after having surgery last Thursday before succumbing to a pulmonary embolism on Sunday. The liquid injected into her buttocks had entered her lungs and brains, killing her, according to one source. A close friend of Magnano’s, Roberto Piazza, observed: “A woman who had everything lost her life to have a slightly firmer behind.” According to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, Jennifer Lopez’s derriere is the posterior most requested by patients looking to surgically recreate a bigger, better bottom. In South America, a firm, round butt is a big deal, but it’s not worth dying for, right? [AP]

As the Senate attempts to suck the fat out of the 2,000-plus-page health care reform bill, there is one provision that donkeys are fighting to keep intact. Democrats have proposed a way to nip and tuck a few Benjamins to help pay for the health care reform plan. I’ll give you a hint—it doesn’t have to do with abortions, mammograms, or pap smears—or any procedures women actually need. They plan to raise $5 billion over the next 10 years by taxing 5 percent on all cosmetic surgery procedures. Want a tummy tuck, silicon bubbies, or some warm botulism injected into your face? Under this provision, you’ll have to pay a tax. Reconstructive surgeries due to cancer or injury would not be subject to the tax. Naturally the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery is against this “Botax.” So what do you think? Is the “Botax” a good idea? [NY Daily News]

A few years ago, I got Botox. A little here. A little there. The needle goes in. You want to scream. And a few days later, voilà! That part of your face is paralyzed. Over a couple years, I did it maybe eight times. Then I stopped. I’d had enough of injecting poison into my face. But a couple years after that, I wanted to do it again. I ponied up a few hundred dollars, lay down on the table, and got another round of botulinum toxin injected into my visage. But the unthinkable happened. It didn’t work!

Fashion blogger Bryan Boy spotted this ad in Thailand for plastic surgery that reads more like the dollar-meal menu. Get your tummy tucks for the bargain price of $625! [BryanBoy.com]

Cany, a 33-year-old waitress in the U.K., thought she had hit the jackpot when she met British plastic surgeon Dr. Reza Vossough. He wasn’t physically attracted to her, but thought she had “potential,” so asked her to be his bride. Now, I’m not talking about mental, emotional, or spiritual potential. No, I’m talking about physical potential. If Vossough couldn’t find the perfect woman, he would create her. In the five years since their wedding, Vossough has performed over eight surgeries on Cany, pumped more than 1,600 grams of silicone into her body, and spent a grand total of $29,736 on the work. And finally, he’s fallen in love with her. Maybe he was drawing his inspiration from that horrifying reality show “The Swan”? The procedures he performed on his FrankenWife—breast augmentation (she went from an A to an F), lip boost, eye lift, forehead reduction (?), tummy tuck, thigh lift, but tuck, liposuction, and Botox. “It’s almost like being God,” said Vossough. “When I first met Cany, she had physical deficiencies, but I could see there was something there. She had big hips and big thighs, so we made corrections, then did a little bit more. I was interested in working on her. It’s better than nature could do.” Anybody else scared?  [The Sun]

Hallelujah! We interrupt your moment of worrying about impending crow’s feet and forehead creases to distract you with yet another aging “ailment” that you need to start fixating on ASAP! Whether you’ve considered it or not, your cleavage has the potential to get old and crinkly, just like the rest of you! First on the menu—for all you mild cases out there—we’ve got a backwards-looking, cup-less bra (pictured) that promises to prevent those unfortunate chest creases you get while sleeping. Order La Decollette here immediately, because let’s face it: It’s a great holiday gift for you, your mom and grandma. But that’s not all!

Girls don’t snore, right? (Wink.) But your guy probably does. For those with snoring problems, there’s a frightening new solution—an injection treatment called “snoreplasty,” which can supposedly replace surgery for those who wish to solve their severe snoring issues (or, at least, appease the women they’re torturing on a nightly basis). The shot, currently available in England, is done under local anesthetic, and targets the roof of the mouth. The compound is a “hardening agent” which prevents vibration in the nasal passageways. While the injection sounds pretty suspect and a little nasty, snoreplasty is apparently cheap, only 3 GBPs (about $5), and it takes only two minutes to administer. Whaddya think? Wanna sign the man friend up? (Or, um, someone else you know?) [Marie Claire]

“[Amy is] fantastic, fantastic. Her boobs are great as well. I shouldn’t have said that, should I? She looks absolutely fantastic ... I don’t know [how much the surgery cost]. I didn’t have to pay for it—that’s all I know. Whenever I see her, she says, ‘Dad can you give me a couple of hundred.’ But I didn’t have to pay for the boobs.”

—Mitch Winehouse, aka Amy Winehouse‘s dad, sounding more than a bit like Joe Simpson, while talking about his daughter’s breast enhancement surgery, which was rumored to have cost $56K. There are certain things dads just shouldn’t say. [People]

Another week, another Carrie Prejean eyeroll-worthy drama. The latest dirt? Our beloved ex-Miss California still owes $5,200 for a boob job paid for by pageant organizer K2 Productions, according to a lawsuit filed yesterday. K2 said it foot the bill for plastic surgery at Prejean’s behest, so she could “be more competitive” in the 2009 Miss USA pageant, and she hasn’t honored a verbal agreement to pay them back. (Verbal agreement? Get it in writing, people!)