• The Ninth Circuit has ruled that Paris Hilton can sue Hallmark for allegedly misappropriating her image and her former catchphrase, “That’s hot!” [Law Blog]—Didn’t Hallmark know that the world was a cold, dank place until Paris let us know what was hot?
• Heidi Klum‘s coffee table book, Rankin’s Heidilicious, is full of steamy photos of Heidi shot over seven years by Rankin and is due out this October. [FoxNews.com]—I really love coffee table books because I don’t have to be embarrassed about only looking at the photos.
• Hollywood A-listers like Scarlett Johansson, Denzel Washington, and Jim Carrey have had to take pay cuts as a result of poor box office sales. [Impact Lab]—Their kind of pay cut is nothing like the average person’s, so I can’t have too much sympathy.

Jason Moore, Paris Hilton‘s former manager, takes credit for turning “this blond piece of clay into a global icon.” And now, he’s pitching a book to publishers called Controlling Chaos, that describes exactly how he “sculpted” Paris into a superstar. He claims that the tome is a “business” book, but we bet Jason is going to be a lot more interesting than your average business writer because Paris, in her infinite wisdom, never made him sign a confidentiality agreement. Oops!

“More than anything, I want this documentary to be a lesson to young girls. If a private, intimate moment that was never intended to be made public—it could happen to them also. It’s something that haunts me to this day. It’s embarrassing to know the whole world has seen the sex tape….I want young girls to never put themselves in that situation I was in. Don’t ever let someone talk you into doing something you don’t want to do.”

—Paris Hilton, talking about the documentary “Paris, Not France” and her hopes for how it will influence the kiddies [RadarOnline.com]

Yesterday, Paris Hilton had to tear herself apart from her new BFFs in Dubai to take the stand in a Miami courtroom. The folks who invested in her movie “Pledge This!” are suing the heiress for $8.3 million in damages because she didn’t carry out any of the promotion for the movie that she was contractually obligated to do. Her lawyer admitted that Hilton wasn’t a big fan of the film’s final cut, but alleged that she still did her best to endorse the flick. But let’s be serious, you know that her busy schedule of partying and being slutty prevented her from doing as many appearances as the investors wanted. The silly soro-stitution movie about a fake sorority at a fake university who tried to diversify to win “Best Sorority of the Year” only opened in 25 theaters and made a very weak $2.9 million. Hilton was paid $1 million to play the lead and the investors want to recoup the money they put into this mega flop. A note to these producers: did you ever think that maybe your movie just sucked and that’s why nobody saw it? [Daily Mail]

Sad news for Paris Hilton—Kat McKenzie, the runner-up on the U.K. version of “My New BFF,” died suddenly this past Friday. “It is devastating to hear of her loss, my thoughts and wishes go out to her friends and family. Love you Kitty Kat. RIP,” Paris tweeted from Dubai, where she is currently filming the next installment of “My New BFF.” The details of McKenzie’s death are unknown but police haven’t revealed any suspicious conditions. McKenzie was a former pole dancer from Guilford, Surrey. Let’s hope things turn out better for the besties in Dubai. [Examiner]

You might be having a bad day, but Lily Allen is having a worse one. [Twitter/LilyRoseAllen]

• Usher proved the rumor mill right when he filed for divorce from Tameka Foster, his wife of nearly two years. [E! Online]—The only one who might be surprised about this is Tameka. Hey, I never stopped calling her by her maiden name, anyway.
• Karl Lagerfeld is swinging insults at Heidi Klum again, but this time he attacks her husband too, saying he wouldn’t want Seal’s skin, which was damaged from a form of lupus. [The Sun]—Sounds like Karl is jealous to me.
• For the second night in a row, Paris Hilton spent the night with some guy named Cristiano Ronaldo. [Dlisted]

Do you swear to tell the truth, avoid neon colors, and not wear sunglasses as headbands, so help you God? In a courthouse, there is a legal oath as well as a fashion oath. Few people would repeat [Michael Jackson’s pajama-clad court appearance faux pas, but many overlook the less obvious style no-no’s in a courtroom. Whether you’re in the jury box, testifying, or, heaven forbid, the defendant, there are certain rules everyone should follow in front of the (fashion) judge.

Nicky Hilton hardly ever crosses our minds, but when she makes an appearance via a paparazzo’s camera, we start thinking about what she’s been up to lately. It seems Paris, who recently dumped Doug Reinhardt, now has time to get the paps to pay attention to Nicky. [Hollywood, 6/11/09]

E! Online recently asked readers if this painting of Sarah Jessica Parker, an equine rendition of her Covet perfume ad, is too mean. The overwhelming response: hells yeah.

But honestly, I’m not at all offended. I love Carrie Bradshaw as much as the next girl, but I actually chuckled when I saw this on the art blog Gallery of the Absurd. Sarah is obviously beautiful, but, well, if she were animal, she’d definitely be a horse. And Sarah Jessica isn’t the only one who artist 14 has painted. After the jump, some of our favorites of her work.

• Rihanna has been subpoenaed to testify against Chris Brown, who is answering felony assault charges, in a preliminary hearing scheduled for June 22. [Us Magazine]
• Monica Seles is reportedly seeing billionaire Thomas Golisano, a man twice her age. [Perez Hilton]—I’m not a big fan of the Republican coup Golisano’s orchestrated in the New York State legislature, so now I dislike Monica by association.
• Kendra Wilkinson says her baby is due Christmas day. [People]—Kendra and Hank were really busy in March, huh?