I’ve been dating a guy for about a month and a half. Every thing is great—similar outlooks on life, we share a lot of opinions on things etcetera—except for one thing. In that time period, during our above average sex life, I’ve climaxed once. ONCE. His technique is just fine, but for some reason its not happening. Typically oral sex does the trick for me, but even that’s not working. Now I feel like there’s so much pressure on it to happen that it makes it even harder now. Thoughts? Advice? New techniques?—Have You Seen My Orgasm?, Brooklyn, NY

Experts say that women take 10 to 20 minutes to have an orgasm once, you know, they get goin’. So Glamour put that theory to the test using three women and then charted their Big-O’s progress with this handy-dandy chart. See the deets in full at Glamour.com. What I thought was interested was that all three women were having sex with a partner, rather than, you know, themselves. A far more fascinating comparison might have included a woman on a solo mission, you know what I’m sayin’?

Is it possible for a woman to have a vaginal-only orgasm—no clitoral stimulation at all?—Wondering About The Big O, Dallas, TX

Well, the answer is SOME women can. A vaginal orgasm is triggered by stimulation of the infamous “G-spot,” located on the upper/front vaginal wall, behind the urethra (think of it as facing the stomach). Up until recently, it was thought that all women might have one. Now, the debate seems to be settled. With the help of ultrasounds, researchers recently found that not all women possess this magical spot. In a group study, the G-spot area was significantly thicker in women who claimed to have vaginal orgasms, and invisible in women who did not.

So, the cause of this? Well, it seems to be genetics. So blame (or thank) your Mom for your lack of vaginal orgasm, not your boyfriend.

What if your Big O was shifted into overdrive?  Sometimes getting lucky isn’t lucky at all claim four women recently interviewed by ABC News. They all suffer from Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), a disorder that was diagnosed only six years ago but has been affecting some women since birth.  Like the Greek Myth about Sisyphus, the king forced to push a rock uphill for all eternity, these women feel the same burden from a constant “throbbing, pulsing, or tingling without the persons sexual desire,” as Dr. Irwin Goldstein describes it.  Worst of all, even after they climax, there is no relief. “It works at the moment, but as soon as you stop, it’s right back there again,” one woman said. Since PSAS has only been recently identified, treatments are still being explored.  Some women use an anti-depressant, some women fill a condom with ice, and some even go for electro-shock. While there is no cure yet, there is help through the PSAS Support Group.

Scientists are searching for the elusive G-spot as if they were Indiana Jones going after the Holy Grail, and new research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests that they may have found it. In a study of 20 women, the ones who were able to achieve vaginal orgasm had thicker tissues between the vagina and the uretha. However, some women might not have G-spots. “If a woman spends all her time worrying about whether she is normal, or has a G-spot or not, she will focus on just one area, and ignore everything else,” Dr. Petra Boynton, a sexual psychologist at University College London told the BBC. “...telling people that there is a single, best way to have sex…isn’t the right thing to do.” Ain’t that the truth. [BBC]