You thought you had it all figured out. Marry a rich guy, you’ll never have to work, and you can spend the rest of your life shopping. Unfortunately, the global recession has thrown a wrench into your well-crafted plans. Now that sugar daddy bank accounts are shrinking, trophy wives are discovering they may be s*** out of luck when it comes to living the good life. In the UK, a trophy wife named “Katie” finds out she’s going to have to cut back on her mani-pedis and seaweed wraps—not to mention having her black AmEx snipped in half. “You loser!” she screams at her husband. “You’ve destroyed my life!” Trophy wives are becoming “Toxic Wives,” as their love for their significant others dwindles in tandem with their hubbies’ bank balances. Divorce rates are rising, and “for richer, for poorer” no longer applies. One wealthy husband turned to his wife in the middle of the night and asked her if she’d love him if he lost everything. Her reply? “F—- no!” As it turns out, most toxic trophy wives aren’t leaving their husbands to join the work force. They’re looking for new rich men to replace the newly poor ones. [Telegraph]

This week, the female blogosphere is abuzz with chatter over a story by a college senior in Philadelphia entitled “My Sugar Daddy.” According to “Melissa Beech,” the pseudonymous author, she’s your average, upper-middle class girl: “I was blessed to have been raised with class, sent to the best schools, and taught to be well read, well spoken and well traveled.” During college, she worked in retail and as a waitress, but she spent more than she earned and the economy was tanking. When she set out to find a “real” job, she encountered a man who made her a different kind of offer: a “Mutually Beneficial Arrangement.” In a nutshell, he forks over around $5,000 a month, they travel together, he takes her to fancy hotels, and they have sex. He was already looking for such a relationship as a member of SeekingArrangement.com. Beech believes what she’s doing isn’t prostitution: “women have used their wiles and charms to get ahead for years.” So what do you think? Is she a smart girl working a recession to her advantage—or a call girl in denial?

Because the stock market and the economy are so volatile right now, people are looking for any kind of guidance they can get—even if that means turning to the supernatural. According to a New York Times article, psychics and astrologers are doing big business these days, with clients paying anywhere from $75 to $1,000 an hour for a little insight. While we love our Kiki T and her advice, we can think of a few things that would make us feel better than knowing we’re going to lose another chunk of change this week. After all, a psychic’s advice about the stock market lasts for a day, but a horse bit necklace is forever. Keep reading for 10 alternative ways to spend $75 that will make you feel better about yourself, if not the world…

Making green, spending green and lacking green are all on everyone’s minds these days, especially since the holidays are approaching and our economy hasn’t crawled out of the crapper, yet. Since this recession may have you a little depressed, we decided to lift your spirits with a bit of music. You know, money makes the world go ‘round, but so does a banging beat or hot melody. Listen to songs (in no particular order) that will help you forget your money troubles and others that will help you lament your lack of ducats, after the jump.

Unless you’re living in a cave somewhere in, I don’t know, rural Alaska, far, far from civilization, you’ve probably noticed that our economy is in the crapper. And despite last week’s presidential election of Barack Obama and his message of change and hope, it will take some time before things stabilize and we’re back on track. In the meantime, many of us are choosing to embrace our inner recessionistas, shunning the big-budget shopping sprees and pricey meals out that we may have enjoyed in the past in favor of clothing swaps and cozy dinner parties in. But quaint as all that sounds, it isn’t always easy to go from spendista to recessionista, to save for a rainy day instead of splurging on a cute, new pair of Wellies the second we spot anything less than clear blue skies. After the jump, a few tips to try in the next 30 days to help you find your own inner recessionista and jump start a new lifestyle of living large, but spending small.

Six months after a sex scandal ousted Eliot Spitzer from office, the New York governor turned “lov gov” is working in real estate, still with his wife Silda, and wondering how it all went so wrong. Meanwhile, call girls are back in the spotlight—and working harder than ever as Wall Street takes another tumble.

The other day, we mentioned guys who work on Wall Street are having a hard time—on the job and on the dating scene. If you’re the kind of woman would have blown off the financial type in the past, we’ve got ten good reasons why you should consider giving them a chance now.

Weddings are expensive, that’s a fact. But there are some things you can do to keep the costs down. Alicia Rockmore, the CEO of an organizational company, says no one looks at invitations, and you should just have them printed online or send email invitations. Cheap invites are one thing, but email invitations? I think it’s bad enough when I find out my friends are engaged by looking at their Facebook pages. Read the article if you’re actually planning your wedding and want more tips that may or may not be useful. [WDSU]

First dates are awkward. You don’t know if the chemistry will be there or what to wear or even what to talk about. But there are a few things you definitely shouldn’t mention. Inspired by The Dating Lame and a bad date who described Iggy Pop’s sweat as “glistening rock nectar” (über icky) here’s The Frisky‘s Top 5 Words You Should Never Ever Say On A First Date:

5. Ex-boyfriend Been there, done that, now you’re trying to date someone else. Tell the sob story to someone who cares about you already and give this new guy the chance to earn the same status.

Ah, the age-old debate: Why don’t women make as much as men? One social researcher at the University of Melbourne says men earn 15 percent more than women because they put in more time at work. “All high achievers in all walks of life ... put in long hours into their activity,” Mark Wooden said. “It’s (the pay equity gap) got a lot to do with the fact that women are not prepared to work longer hours.” Mark goes on to say that even if workplaces were family friendly, women wouldn’t pursue long-hour jobs. Having had at a job where I regularly worked until 10 p.m. and sometimes even 1 a.m. alongside other women I find this ludicrous. Maybe I’m a man. [Sydney Morning Herald]

Oh lordy, Jennifer Aniston may need to prepare herself for another break-up—only this time, the people involved are her best Friend Courtney Cox and her hubby David Arquette. According to sources, David is sick of Jennifer always hanging around their house ever since she broke up with husband Brad Pitt and recent boyfriend Vince Vaughn, and that she now feels like a “second wife”. We’re not Aniston fans, per se, and we can totally see why it would be mega annoying to have a Debbie Downer like Jennifer around all the time, but David would have to be totally nutso to give his wife an ultimatum over this one. First of all, women hate ultimatums. No matter how right you may be, forcing our hand pisses us off, especially when it screws with our affinity for Girl Power. Secondly, David is poor and a totally D-List star. Courtney’s show Dirt may be just that—dirt—but she still has all the money left over from her Friends days. Pretty sure David isn’t so pissed about the ol’ third wheel that he’s willin to go back to slumming it in Venice Beach. [Digital Spy]