The beginning of a relationship can be a tricky course to navigate.  Guys (like me) aren’t so good at guessing what women think or want, and our stupidity can lead to otherwise easily avoidable arguments.  Setting some basic rules with your new flame may help you get past the small stuff and start enjoying your lives together. After the jump, ten guidelines to smooth the road with your new beau.

During the most recent Democratic primary, I found myself wondering how things might have turned out differently if Hillary Clinton had spent less time with the glass ceiling and more time campaigning for President. For that matter, would Sarah Palin have been chosen as John McCain’s ticket mate if she had not been female?

“You’re doing what?”

I heard that a lot in the spring of 2007, whenever I explained to friends that I had broken up with my Nathan, boyfriend of four years, yet we were still living together in the apartment we’d shared for the last two. It was a temporary matter, I’d say, a situation that would last about a month or two, until we found our own places.

Women, take note: when the appearance of men’s toenails suggest that we are either vying for a Guinness World Record—or preparing for an underground cage fighting match—feel free to mention that they’ve gotten a tad long. We don’t mind.

Over the years, I’ve admitted to a lot of embarrassing things. I told you, dear reader, that I work for a ladies magazine, I have been known to have my back waxed and that I use Facebook responsibly (using anything responsibly is a buzz-kill for a crazy mo-fo like me). But the most embarrassing thing I could think to write about today is that I enjoy being on the inside of a spoon and I’m a dude.

We often think of a deep baritone voice as a sexy one, but it seems too cliché to think that a romantically-inclined crooner like Barry White would actually look the part. Yet, although most people’s voices don’t seem to strike a chord one way or the other, research has shown that a person’s voice can influence whether others find him alluring or unattractive. But once you connect the face with the voice, does the sound actually correspond to a knockout—or a letdown?

“V-Day.” Sounds more like an invasion of Normandy than a day spent celebrating love and romance. And rightfully so. Sometimes the intricacies of preparing for the holiday resemble war-room strategy more than jubilation. Sure, you’re armed with flowers and chocolates instead of a rifle and grenades, but there is a common dread, with the tips of those big red hearts hanging like so many swords of Damocles.

Sometime when I wasn’t looking, Valentine’s Day metamorphosed from a C-list kids’ holiday, with pink and red candy and construction-paper hearts, into an extravaganza. The regular-person equivalent of Oscar Night, but instead of Best Picture or Best Supporting Actress, prizes are given for Best Achievement in the Acquisition of a Leading Man.

But what if you don’t have a new pet “project” to promote or arm candy to show off? Better stay home rather than remind everyone that you couldn’t land the role of girlfriend, even for one night. Cause being single is cause for as much mortification as a bad dress on the red carpet.

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and you definitely want to spend it with someone sexy. What’s the first thing you notice when you look at a man that really turns you on? Of course we want someone with a killer personality and the ability to make us laugh, but let’s get physical. What body part do you find most attractive?

When you hear the word “detox” all sorts of things come to mind: spas, juice fasts, colonics, rehab centers. People enter detoxification programs to rid their bodies of toxins, lose a little weight, maybe look and feel better about the damage they’ve done to their bodies. Detoxifications are done when you eat too many chips, drink too many drinks, do too many drugs. But how do you detoxify from poor love decisions? Is there a Promises out there for people who have had one toxic relationship after another? How do you take the damage done from too many bad relationships to enable a fresh start?

Earlier this week, the good people at AskMen.com revealed their list of the “Top Ten Things Men Shouldn’t Do In Public,” which included definite no-no’s like picking their noses and peeing conspicuously, and debatable no-no’s like crying (Come on, what if his dog just died? What if he just watched “The Notebook” for the first time?). Interestingly, they said proposing to your girlfriend on a subway was a “bold” public move—something that really ought to TOP the list of forbidden public acts, if you ask me (I mean seriously, a subway? Is there a danker, drearier place on Earth to ask a woman to spend the rest of your life with you?!).

Anyway, there’s no reason men should have all the fun, so in the interest of equality we’ve got a list of our own. After the jump, the Top Ten Things Women Shouldn’t Do In Public.

What’s this ad really about? You tell me. Copyranter reports this ad campaign was created for the German edition of Men’s Health magazine. Both of the ads feature young women exercising to the point of sweaty, dejected exhaustion. In one ad, the woman leans over the handlebars of her bicycle, out of breath. In the other ad, the woman sits on her stationary bicycle, wiped out. The ad copy reads: “IT’S ALL ABOUT MEN.” Copyranter opines: “While it’s certainly not clear, the message of the campaign appears to be ‘that’s right babes, you keep exercising you little patooties off…for us men.’” It’s hard to argue with that position. One of the female commenters chimes in: “The only reason I exercise is so I can get laid.” I’d say she’s the truthteller. What do you think? Is this misogynist marketing or the face of reality? [Copyranter]

One of the things I love about being in a relationship is that my friend circle multiplies. But what happens to those newly formed friendships when the relationship ends? For example, recently two of my friends who were in a couple broke up and it’s been awkward ever since. Where we used to all go out together once or twice a month, now I have to split time between them, and I have the nagging feeling that I’m cheating when I hang out with one and not the other. After driving myself crazy for a few weeks (Do I talk about or avoid the subject? Partake in talk about the ex or awkwardly change the subject when it comes up?), I sought some advice on dealing with the joint-friends breakup—who keeps whom? And does it really have to come down to that?

I’m single, 40, and have dated more than any good man should. Add to that the fact that I love women, I love seducing, and my ego is clearly invested in the power it gives me, and something tells me I’m not the man you’d think would advocate devotion and fidelity. But the truth is, I’m a closet monogamist. It doesn’t come easily, it might not even come naturally, but at the end of the day, I think monogamy is a majesty worth fighting for. Many of the reasons are obvious—the comfort, having a good-guy reputation, the regular and maybe even condom-free sex—but there are some that might surprise you.

Every so often, I like to visit this website that sells some of the most extreme shoes that you have ever laid eyes on, some of which are stripper shoes, because pole dancers like their stilettos crazy. In addition to the fact that several are eight inches high and upwards, some glow in the dark, there’s ones with built-in tip jars, and a few include rubber duckies. And you thought those gold spiked Louboutins were hardcore. But it wasn’t until my most recent visit that I found the men’s section. Therein I discovered the mind-boggling pair you see here. The model is “Pimp.” Fake cheetah fur! A see-through, 3-1/2-inch, liquid-infused heel! That contains swimming plastic gold fish! I don’t think life gets any better than this. Except for maybe the elf shoes. If you showed up for a blind date, and the guy was wearing these shoes, what would you do?

“Why won’t he commit?”

“Get your man to say ‘I do!’”

“Why don’t guys call when they say they will?”

Peruse any magazine rack and various Web sites and you’ll see headlines such as these splattered all over. Inside you’ll read article upon article about how women can decode, seduce, corral, turn on, and coerce men.

We’ve written about men in skirts on the Frisky previously, but apparently the trend has it the epidemic level. One Joe in Pennsylvania wrote Dear Abby about his predilection for sporting skirts. “I’m a married man, confident in who I am, who wears skirts for comfort.” Um, OK. But why? “I feel that skirts are more comfortable than pants, which I find tight, restrictive and uncomfortable. I wear skirts around the house, when I’m out running errands and when I attend church. My clergyman has raised no objection to it.” My, what a liberal clergyman you have. Joe’s wife is supportive of his style choices, but their extended family isn’t thrilled. Abby pronounces: “As long as you have the testicular fortitude and shapely enough legs to wear skirts, then you have my blessing.” Well! Problem solved then. According to the Cut, 2009 is the year of the man-skirt.

According to Details, decades of feminism and political correctness have turned 21st century guys into total pigs. Because they’ve been forced to play Mr. Nice Guy and suppress their baser, manlier instincts for years, today’s men are starting to revert back to some of their less politically correct, more misogynist ways. Take, for example, “Dave”: “Dave, who was in college during the P.C. era of the early nineties, is part of a generation of men who have started to wonder why they’ve been so damn well-behaved all these years—and are now letting their long-repressed roguish instincts run free.” When Dave’s not busy being married and “co-parenting” his kids, he’s sneaking off to massage parlors for “happy endings.” What it means to be a man is no longer clear, and that’s causing a return to traditionalism. (Think Don Draper incarnate.) Tired of “Yes, Dear”-ing their wives, these guys are saying to hell with all that. (Take, for example, Guy Ritchie.) So what do you think? Are men regressing into jerkhood? [Details]

When it comes to saying “I love you,” one writer reports, men are universally conflicted. If asked how many times they’ve been in love, some men can’t make up their minds. He loves you? He loves you not? Sometimes, he’s not too sure. After all, it’s not easy for either sex to differentiate between love and lust, intimacy and infatuation, what the mind wants to believe and what the heart insists is true. When Mick Jagger was asked how many times he’d fallen in love, he deemed the question “stupid.” Boy George, in contrast, said his number was zero. So, how can men and women tell if they’re really, truly in love? When “the words ‘I love you’ tumble from you like obscenities from the mouth of a Tourette’s sufferer.” Sounds like true love to me. [Telegraph]

There seems to be a direct correlation between how much a man spends on something and how big he wants the outside world to think his penis is.  These big-ticket items have to be noticeably large, suped up, and impressive—something to be showed off.  When men drop serious cash, it’s symbolically like they dropped their pants too. Here are the five things that men buy to make us think they have a big dick:

Sports Car: With that much horsepower, he feels like he’s hung like a horse.