Remember when we asked if lust was more important that emotional stability? Well, according to a new study, Spaniards say yes—and Hollywood is to blame. Researchers used a version of the Love Attitude Scale, a quiz that asks people to describe how much they agree with various descriptions of love. Love Buzz found several versions of the quiz online. They include statements like “If you are going to love a person, you will ‘know’ after a short time” and “I could get over an affair with my partner pretty easily and quickly.” The quiz shows how much you accept six types of love: Eros, Pragma, Banquet, Mania, Ludus and Storge. Yes, they sound like exotic birds or rivers in Greece, but they actually refer to various ways people think about the big l-o-v-e. Your values depend on your personality, and, to a large extent, on the culture you were brought up in.

The beginning of a relationship can be a tricky course to navigate.  Guys (like me) aren’t so good at guessing what women think or want, and our stupidity can lead to otherwise easily avoidable arguments.  Setting some basic rules with your new flame may help you get past the small stuff and start enjoying your lives together. After the jump, ten guidelines to smooth the road with your new beau.

The guy I lost my virginity to found me on Facebook a few months ago. I opened my inbox to read, “Is this Teri? If so, hit me back.” It was an absurdly casual message, as if he had no idea I associated him with puking from anesthesia in the parking lot of an abortion clinic. The shock I felt when I saw the name Jeffery* in my inbox is a testament to how successful I had been at forgetting everything that happened between us.

Over the years, I’ve admitted to a lot of embarrassing things. I told you, dear reader, that I work for a ladies magazine, I have been known to have my back waxed and that I use Facebook responsibly (using anything responsibly is a buzz-kill for a crazy mo-fo like me). But the most embarrassing thing I could think to write about today is that I enjoy being on the inside of a spoon and I’m a dude.

I like to think of myself as a logical, control-my-own destiny kind of girl. I think most of my friends see themselves as equally levelheaded. But recently a friend was describing the physical sensations she gets when she meets someone that she really likes—butterflies, sweaty palms, quick heartbeat. No matter how hard she tries to think her way out of this silliness, she can’t. Since we’ve all been there, I figured there had to be more to it, something powerful enough to give even the most strong-willed a run for her sanity. Hoping for some insight into why these feelings take over, I went looking for the science behind lust and love. Why, physiologically speaking, do these things happen, and what are they trying to tell us?

A few weekends ago, my girlfriends and I decided to have a drink night. For most girl crews, drink night usually starts out with a few friendly cocktails and pointless compliments on each other’s outfits (the question, “oh my god where did you get that?” is a surefire sign that you need a few more drinks in you to make the night more interesting). Soon enough those friendly cocktails ended up being more than a few harshly honest pitchers as we started to commence into the dirty ritual every woman has been guilty of enjoying: talking crap about other girls. From “she’s way too tubby to be wearing that,” to, “he’s way too hot to be doing her,” we ranted on and on as if we were Perez on The View. We were cruising No Mercy Street. Eventually we started to soften up as we got onto the subject of our good friend Jesse, who had broken up with her more-than-perfect boyfriend Jeremy. It had turned out that Mr. Perfect had been cheating on her for six months with his hometown friend.

“V-Day.” Sounds more like an invasion of Normandy than a day spent celebrating love and romance. And rightfully so. Sometimes the intricacies of preparing for the holiday resemble war-room strategy more than jubilation. Sure, you’re armed with flowers and chocolates instead of a rifle and grenades, but there is a common dread, with the tips of those big red hearts hanging like so many swords of Damocles.

Sometime when I wasn’t looking, Valentine’s Day metamorphosed from a C-list kids’ holiday, with pink and red candy and construction-paper hearts, into an extravaganza. The regular-person equivalent of Oscar Night, but instead of Best Picture or Best Supporting Actress, prizes are given for Best Achievement in the Acquisition of a Leading Man.

But what if you don’t have a new pet “project” to promote or arm candy to show off? Better stay home rather than remind everyone that you couldn’t land the role of girlfriend, even for one night. Cause being single is cause for as much mortification as a bad dress on the red carpet.

Paul McCartney loves American women. We can’t blame him! When he wasn’t holding a guitar at the Grammy’s last night, Macca was grabbing his new girlfriend, New York millionairess Nancy Shevell. So, who is this woman feeling up on our favorite Beatle? The goods are after the jump …

Valentine’s Day is this weekend, and once again I’m reminded how irrelevant the occasion is to anyone who’s actually in love. Aside from kids and their handmade cards, Valentine’s Day is really just for the lonely, sad, and insecure. Think about it. When was the last time you heard anyone who was happily coupled up express anything remotely resembling excitement over the big day? More likely, they don’t express any thoughts about it at all. Because happily coupled up people don’t think about Valentine’s Day. And why should they? If couples are doing it right, they don’t need to wait for some manufactured Hallmark occasion to celebrate their love.

When you hear the word “detox” all sorts of things come to mind: spas, juice fasts, colonics, rehab centers. People enter detoxification programs to rid their bodies of toxins, lose a little weight, maybe look and feel better about the damage they’ve done to their bodies. Detoxifications are done when you eat too many chips, drink too many drinks, do too many drugs. But how do you detoxify from poor love decisions? Is there a Promises out there for people who have had one toxic relationship after another? How do you take the damage done from too many bad relationships to enable a fresh start?

I’m already a fan of the strange creature art made by LA-based artist Liz McGrath—and I love this weirdly special, customized Valentine’s Day gift that she’s selling in her online store. If you want to say “I love you” this Valentine’s Day in a totally unique way, McGrath’s four-inch, mini-butcher knife with your loved one’s name painted on it is sure to drive your message home to the heart. It comes in its own special knife box, it’s dusted with glitter, and it’s only $25. Remember: “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.”—Blaise Pascal [Boing Boing]

I still remember the day I realized my first love wasn’t perfect. We’d been together for about 2- 1/2 months and decided to go camping for the weekend. I wasn’t much of an outdoorsy person and ended up wearing, like, Keds on our long hike up to the campsite (which really wasn’t a campsite, but more of a clearing in the woods with enough room to pitch a tent). Rather than slow his pace and enjoy the beautiful day with me, my boyfriend laughed at my footwear and sped off, keeping a good ½ mile ahead of me all afternoon. It was then that I realized I loved him, but he hiked too damn fast (and was really kind of a jerk).

Loveyoubut.com celebrates exactly this kind of realization in a relationship. Created by Alex Holder and Ross Neil, the site is a “picture book about the moment in a relationship when you realize you don’t love someone completely, because there is just one little thing that keeps bothering you.” While I’d argue it’s often that one little thing that makes you realize just how unconditionally you do love someone—seriously, if you can love your man despite his hairy back or the loud slurpy sound he makes when he drinks beer, that’s when you know it’s real—the site is totally worth checking out. Filled with funky, hand-drawn portraits and great quips like, “I love you, but you still read articles about Princess Diana,” and “I love you, but you say ‘pacific’ instead of ‘specific’,” loveyoubut.com reminds us that no one is perfect, and sometimes what we don’t like about someone says a lot more about us than it does about the other person.

What’s your “I love you, but” quote? [via Nothing But Bonfires]

My girlfriends and I got to talking the other night (okay, actually it was several nights with several different girlfriends and several bottles of wine). You may guess where this is going. The funny thing is, I thought I did too.

I’m a big fan of the old “Thin Man” movies from the 30’s and ‘40’s. If you haven’t seen them, they’re about Nick Charles, a wry and debonair detective who enjoys martinis, solving convoluted murder plots, and spending time with his lanky wife Nora. I can take or leave the murder mystery element of the films; what I really love are Nick and Nora as a couple. They have a certain rapport that you don’t see between a man and a woman in too many movies, past or present. Nora isn’t just standing around breathlessly, waiting to be taken care of, nor is she rolling her eyes at Nick’s antics, waiting for him to hurry up and grow up. They tease each other, are interested in each other, seem attracted to each other, and occasionally like to get soused together. Who (apart from teetotalers) wouldn’t like to have this type of relationship with his or her partner? I watched a DVD extra on “The Thin Man” after I bought the box set and a commenter put it perfectly into words: “‘The Thin Man’ made marriage look sexy.’”

Looking for just the right T-shirt to fit your Valentine’s Day mood? Every Little Counts has a selection of graphic T’s that work with any Valentine’s situation—whether you’re on the prowl, in love, or ready to get busy. Feel like making love? This one‘s for you. If you’re coming off a breakup, love hangover may do the trick. A violent, sensual, sensitive girl? Here you go. If you’re hunting for totally, tenderly, tragic Mr. Right, this might help. Or, maybe you just want to make out. The line was created by Amy Snider, a Los Angeles-based designer, who’s also a blogger. [Every Little Counts]

Since my breakup, I’ve not only been navigating single life, but I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of relationship to have with my ex. Are we friends? Acquaintances? Simply exes? Potential friends with benefits? It’s hard to say, and I vacillate between these possibilities. I’m grateful that ours was a long distance relationship, so I don’t have to worry about running into him at a club or the grocery store. At the same time, I’ll be honest—I miss him. Our once-daily talks and emails have dwindled to once or twice a week ... but that doesn’t mean I don’t think of him more often than that.

I’m single, 40, and have dated more than any good man should. Add to that the fact that I love women, I love seducing, and my ego is clearly invested in the power it gives me, and something tells me I’m not the man you’d think would advocate devotion and fidelity. But the truth is, I’m a closet monogamist. It doesn’t come easily, it might not even come naturally, but at the end of the day, I think monogamy is a majesty worth fighting for. Many of the reasons are obvious—the comfort, having a good-guy reputation, the regular and maybe even condom-free sex—but there are some that might surprise you.

If you’ve been guilty of snooping through your luvah’s internet history, you’re definitely not alone. A recent UK survey found that a whopping 70 percent of Brits regularly check their partners’ online activity. These aren’t isolated incidents—respondents admitted to snooping at least once a month to see if their partners had been surfing porn sites, trading sexy photos or love notes with anyone, or had been up to any other sneaky activities. “There really is nowhere to hide on the web anymore; especially now that people are so active online, with social networking sites and forums. People can post pictures or inappropriate comments that, when taken out of context, can lead to serious problems at home,” said study author, Steffen Ruehl.

Wake me up at the crack of dawn looking for sex, and I’m likely to ignore you, or yell at you—and not in a dominatrix type of way. To put it mildly, I’m not a morning person—or, rather, I’m up for “morning sex,” if 11:59 a.m. counts as “morning.” But others have different ideas on the matter, so I asked my friends what time of the day equals sexytime for them.