In yesterday’s post about the 30 things women love that men don’t understand, I listed “sexless cotton brief underwear” at number 11. Those are my favorite kinds of lingerie—in cute, fun prints, yes, but cotton, usually paired with a bright, cotton bra with about as much sex appeal as Rainbow Bright. I’ve got some “sexier” lingerie, I suppose, including this lacy bra thingy I bought on The Frisky’s big bra fitting trip earlier this year that has ribbons cascading from it that I save for special occasions (special occasions I won’t be having for another three months, at least). Anyway, my ex never seemed to really notice my undergarments which was great when I was wearing some holey, period-stained thong, but kind of was a bummer when I took the time to match and traded in cotton for lace. But I’ve heard similar complaints from other women—do dudes really give a crap whether the women they’re about to make sweet love to is wearing practical panties from The Gap or a sheer lace booty boy short from La Perla? And if not, why the hell are places that charge $50 for a tiny scrap of fabric still in business? I interrogate the guys on my IM about their lingerie preferences, after the jump…

Victoria’s got a secret.  Formaldehyde, the same stuff that preserves corpses, may be giving your boobs a lift, a rash, and even permanent scars. A few women are claiming they developed medical issues from wearing the “Angel’s Secret Embrace” and “Very Sexy Extreme Push Up” bras, and want Vicky to compensate them. Lead by Roberta Ritter, a 37-year-old woman who says she experienced itchy blisters from her bras, the group of women are filing a class action lawsuit against the undergarment company. Shockingly enough, even after collecting complaints from customers and the impending legal action, those particular styles of Victoria Secret bras are still on shelves! Is VS just trying to tempt more people to join the lawsuit? 

Lucia Lorio, a luxury lingerie designer, has created a “Find Me If You Can” bra and panties set that comes with its own GPS tracking system. On the side of the sheer white bodice, a black device has been stitched into the hem—ostensibly so your lover knows where you are. Needless to say, many are calling the set made for stalking a “modern day chastity belt.” However, Lorio defends her product: “In London, New York, Rio de Janeiro—wherever there is danger, the underwear may prove to be a lifesaver.” Ironically, it looks like the lingerie equivalent of the GPS ankle bracelet that sex offenders on parole have to wear. Lorio’s selling her high-tech undergarment system for a grand a piece, plus the monthly monitoring fee. It seems like a rip off for something that’s supposed to get ripped off you, and it’s creepy to think about someone trying to keep tabs on your location, especially by tracking your underpants. Consider yourself warned, ladies. It’s all fun and games getting followed via your lingerie—until you realize you’re living in 1984, and Big Brother’s in your underwear drawer. [Daily Mail]

I only think about my underwear in the millisecond when I yank them out of my dresser drawer in the morning. (Thong or no? Is this going to ride up at the gym?) My bra never matches my out-of-season holiday panties or my cotton boy shorts with a French poodle printed on the butt saying, “Ooh la la!” But whenever I’m in a serious relationship, I give painstaking consideration to my unmentionables. I’ve gotten on a plane wearing an elaborate black-and-pink lace getup under a T-shirt and jeans to meet my boyfriend, and shown up at his doorstep wearing nothing underneath a dress.

I’m not one to transform into a sex vixen when she dons some Victoria’s Secret bustier. And my last striptease? Like Flashdance on rewind. Give me some granny panties and a sports bra, however, and I’m a star. Here, some picks for ladies who prefer less traditional underthings to the super-sexy stuff. So, throw one on, take your passion, and make it happen.

Granny panties are so hot now for young babes. And unlike their tinier counterparts—bikinis, thongs, and tangas—big ol’ briefs will cover your back instead of riding up it. Styles like boy shorts let us shake our booty freely and bend over without getting a wedgie, upsides everyone can get behind. Since we’re too sexy for dental floss undies, here are some full-on Frisky picks, after the jump…

Lacey bras, silk slips, corsets, teddies, garter belts, assless panties…sexy lingerie big bucks, but we’re happy to spend for the fringe benefits! That’s the cost of getting a man’s attention, right? Well, like most things we think about men, we’re wrong. Apparently, all the dudes want is a lady in tube socks. Yes, that’s right, thick tube socks with nothing else.  Remember that American Apparel ad?  Just like that.  If you need more proof to test the sock theory, here’s Gisele Bundchen posed in GQ with no pants, sporting knee-high athletic socks. If you let your man see this picture, he will beg you for some sweet sock action. Guaranteed.

A woman in Los Angeles is suing Victoria’s Secret over a defective thong. Um, one could argue, they’re all defective, after all, we’re talking about paying for a permanent wedgie here.  But seriously, 52-year old Macrida Patterson is taking the lingerie line to court because she claims a “design problem” caused a metallic decoration on her “V-string” to come loose.  When she went to put the panties on, the ornament hit her in the eye causing damage to her cornea. Eye-yi-yi, there is just an ever growing number of reasons why we love coverage! [Smoking Gun and CNN]

In Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, lingerie stores that display their wares on mannequins make many people uncomfortable. “If I was passing by with my family and saw something displayed vulgarly on a mannequin, we would all find the situation awkward and embarrassing,” said one shopping mall manager. However, the store owners displaying lingerie in their windows don’t think they should stop showing people what they sell—how else will people know what they have inside? One 21-year-old woman even said she hates passing by lingerie stores because men often hang around them. The cultural differences between there and here are so interesting and apparent in regards to lingerie shopping. When I was in middle school, it was a huge rite of passage when you started shopping at Victoria’s Secret (and stopped getting embarrassed when your mother mentioned the word “bra”). [Arab News]

When men watch sexy videos or handle lingerie, they seek immediate gratification. “After they touched a bra, men are more likely to be content with a smaller immediate monetary reward,” writes Bram Van den Bergh, one of the study’s authors. “Prior exposure to sexy stimuli may influence the choice between chocolate cake or fruit for dessert.” So, if men want to get rich or lose weight, maybe they need to cut themselves off the porn and nudie mags. Lingerie is a gateway drug, people. [EurekAlert!]

Kate Moss is the face of Agent Provocateur’s bridal line, and the company has been releasing “artsy” video shorts over the past few days to go along with the print ads. In the first, harp music plays while Kate wears the “Sophie” babydoll near a wind machine. Hearts are everywhere, and it feels like a strange dream. Men would probably find it very alluring. After the jump, see a few designs from Agent Provacateur’s wedding collection. Our favorite is the “Kate” corset, but of course.

Agent Provocateur is known for creating obscene displays. True to their name, the windows of their shops have always pushed the envelope. Photographer Enzo Peccinotti has captured and compiled all the lacey and racy spectacles over the past decade, as well as comments from chic fans like Vivienne Westwood (the owner’s mother), Blondie’s Debbie Harry, and Kate Moss. Suffice it to say, with all the sexy shots in Agent Provocateur: Exhibitionist, the lingerie line is rendered the same way as their clientele—in an attractive package. [Amazon.com]

The night before Valentine’s Day this year, I received a frantic text message from my friend Sara, who I knew was on a mission to pick up something frilly to wear for her new boyfriend. “OMG, I’m in the store and I don’t even know what the eff a garter belt is. Help…” I flipped open my cell phone and left her a message that was one for the books: “Sara,” I said sternly, “if you don’t know what a garter belt is, he sure as hell won’t know how to take one off. Look for a babydoll top and cute underwear. Step AWAY from the garter belts.”