And they say going to the whorehouse is a crime. Well if that’s the case, we’re set to become criminals, especially after seeing U.K. lingerie line, Bordelle. With a super-luxe meets fetishist vibe, the collection of corsets, supermini dresses, and bras features banded strips of material (ok, throw a little bondage in there, too). We’re loving on the black and white contrasting designs like a cream Hérve Legér-esque girdle dress made entirely of elastic strips, or a satin triangle bra paired with matching fingerless gloves and garters. While we of course advocate the crackdown on brothels and prostitution, we have to admit…there’s nothing wrong with a little whorehouse fantasy. Call it Dickensian, if you must. See a couple more looks, after the jump… [Bordelle.co.uk]

I´ve been a card carrying member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee since puberty. If we have this in common, then let´s rejoice and burn our padded bras together: there´s a new over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder just for pebbles like ours. It’s called the Itty Bitty Bra and it does what it says: covers your itty-bitties and makes them look sexy. Taylor Swift and “Dancing With The Stars” Misty May are already fans of the line which also offers matching bikini panties and camisoles. Find them online here.

Unless you are lucky enough to work at The Frisky, chances are, you have to tone down the fashion factor for your work wardrobe. Sadly corporate culture condemns otherwise stylish girls to hide their individual look and makes them and conform to Dr. Evil-esque suits. What is an adventuress girl stuck in a boring suit to do? Well…what your boss doesn’t see won’t hurt her. Here are a few ways to keep your fabulous fashionista under wraps until 5p.m.

Every year, students from fashion colleges all over the world submit designs for Triumph Inspiration Award, a competition to find “the most inspiring and inspirational lingerie design.” On Monday, the 10 finalists from Japan’s Bunka Fashion College showed off their, um, creative undergarments. My, oh, my! Undies with over-sized frowning lips on the crotch? Knight-armor inspired ensembles? You won’t find these at Victoria’s Secret, but they could make for some great medieval or anime role playing! [Trend De La Creme, Zimbio]

Check out some other Triumph Inspiration Award entries after the jump.

If you’ve spent days, months, years sitting around wishing, dreaming, hoping for a chandelier made of lingerie, you, my friend, are in luck. Check out this pantychandelier currently on view at the International Contemporary Furniture Fair in New York City. Hot or not? Apartment Therapy wonders. Hard to say. In the comments, people can’t make up their minds if they love it or hate it. “A naked bulb would be a lot sexier than this.” “[T]hat is completely ridiculous. tasteless. looks like someone just threw their underwear up onto the chandelier ...” “I get this already since my neighbor hangs all her bras and lingerie on the drapery rod in her dining room which is across from my dining room window. I can tell you it isn’t something you really want to see while eating.” Personally, I think it’s kind of awesome, in a strange sort of way. It’s sort of like if Dita von Teese exploded, and this is all that was left of her, her lingerie hanging from the light fixture. So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Or don’t know what to make of it? [Apartment Therapy]

I’m one of those girls who wears fancy matching under-things only by accident, so perhaps I’m not the best person to speak to this, but somehow I think there must be a better way to bring an “explosive style” to the bedroom than wearing grenade-top thigh highs. But, hey, if it’s your thing, you’re in luck — the weapon-themed lingerie is on sale for $10.50! [Spicy Lingerie via ideeli]

Single and on the prowl? Triump International has developed a high-tech bra outfitted with a timepiece that marks the time it’s taking you to find a husband. Talk about baggage you can wear! But this bra doesn’t solely support your boobs—it’s includes a pen with which you can sign the pre-nup, and the minute you get engaged, you can stick the ring in, and it’ll play “The Wedding March.” Is this bra puke resistant? We’re about to lose our lunch. [Talk2MyShirt]

This is one of those head-scratcher products I’m not sure who would want to buy. This Souffrez Pour Moi underwear is made with “artfully placed seams, beads, and textured fabric to create intimate, temporary patterns in the skin.” I don’t know about you, but if I ever discovered an “intimate, temporary pattern” on my skin, I’d make an appointment with my doctor and be tempted to warn any previous sex partners of the new development. The underwear isn’t meant to just be worn, though, oh, no — it’s supposed to provoke thought, too, on “how beauty and suffering are subtly intertwined.” Call me crazy, but I don’t think there’s anything subtle — or beautiful, for that matter — about bejeweled panties. If the underwear saves some women from getting lower back tattoos, though, I’ll give it my blessing. [Generate via Random Good Stuff]

If there was ever a time to ditch your Gap Body bras and underwear, it’s now. (Nothing against Gap underthings. They’re supremely comfy, but they lack in the ME-ow! department.) The ever-so-seductive Dita Von Teese has a new collection of vintage-inspired bras and underwear by Wonderbra and they are H-O-T. You want them.

The Grand Dame of Burlesque got it right. The line is a combination of 1950s shapes and 1940s fabrics and includes a mixture of suspenders, thongs, and bras that Von Teese says are so comfortable she wears them regularly. Now, I’m not advocating the suspender get-up for you r9-to-5 gig (unless work happens to be about shedding layers of clothing), but adding a little Von Teese sexy into your life has got to be a pretty cost-effective upgrade, especially in these economically grim times. [Daily Mail U.K.]

When I first started developing in the chest department, my mother dragged me to Victoria’s Secret’s semi-annual sale to get measured so I would have proper fitting undergarments. I absolutely hated the experience. How embarrassing to strip down and have a stranger measure your assets! Luckily, I grew up, and bra shopping is no longer awkward. For women in Saudi Arabia, however, the experience is still an uncomfortable one.

The people who work in lingerie stores are largely male, contrary to a law that has been in effect since 2006 saying that only female staff can be employed in women’s stores. There are a few reasons that it hasn’t been enforced: employing women would mean even more than 10 percent of the countries male population would be unemployed, and many in the religious establishment oppose allowing women to work in places where men and women can mix, such as malls.

For those of us who fantasize about losing weight while sitting around in our underwear, a chemistry company, of all things, may have the answer to our dreams. Japan-based company Teijin has just announced the development of underwear that can burn away body fat. The magic underwear is made of a “Nanofront” fiber that’s said to be 200,000 times more flexible than conventional polyester fibers. Apparently, the fibers are so thin, a strand of hair is 7,500 times thicker. I have no idea how all this equates to a smaller waist, but the company claims that people who have worn the underwear in experiments for “40 consecutive days lowered their body fat by ‘several percent’ and consequently reduced waist size by several centimeters.” Wow, several centimeters! That leaves enough room for a whole extra tic-tac in your daily diet. “All that wearers need to do is let the fabric hug their skin to generate friction resistance when they go about their daily routines.” Sounds kinda dirty. The company hopes to have the fat-burning underwear perfected in time for next year’s spring/summer season. In the meantime, we should probably hold on to our gym memberships. [via CrunchGear]

We’re all about the curves, but strapping some synthetic junk onto our trunks might be where we draw the line. Figleaves.com is now selling “shorties” by Huit ($60) — black or beige panties with round foam padding to plump up the flattest of derrieres.

If you’re trying to get someone to stare at your sexy curves all night, this will definitely do it. But I foresee the same problem with padded panties as with padded bras: what’s a guy going to think when you’re in bed and your fake foam butt, which he thought was so shapely and sexy and natural, COMES OFF? I pity the dude. [Times of London]

Laundering your lingerie can really get your panties in a twist, especially when they get ruined in the wash. The new Bra Dryer claims to take care of this by individually drying bras without messing with the fabric or wiring. The device uses infrared heat to evaporate water and a boob-shaped frame so that your underthings keep their form. There are different settings for every possible kind of brassiere (padded, soft cup, silk, etc.) and accommodation for a range of cup sizes. The downside—you can only dry one garment at a time, which is sure to wear on your patience as much as conventional drying does on your bras. Check out another image, after the jump! [Popgadget]

Peacock feather barrettes are all the rage right now. But because you’re a fabulous girl, we know you want to mix it up a little saucier than just snapping a feathered clip into your locks. These peacock plumage undies come in a blue or green pattern with lace ruffles around the thighs, so it’s up to you to decide what kind of colorful bird you’d like to be underneath your clothes. Undies are supposed to be about strutting and showing off your goods, anyway, right? [$12.99, Modcloth.com]

Since so many ladies will be getting all gussied up in their finest undies tonight as part of a romantic V-Day celebration, we thought we’d take a survey of lingerie stories in different cities across the U.S. to see what the best-selling products have been leading up to tonight. After the jump, check out the high-end getup New Yorkers are putting on, the sweet (and comfy!) nude thong they’re wearing in Philadelphia, and the flirty polka-dot number they like in LA.

Normally I’m skeptical of any messages across your bum (juicy?), but Mary Green’s Seven Ways to Say “I Love You” Silk Boyshorts ($173 for the set at figleaves.com) are just too adorable to ignore.  (It doesn’t hurt that the silkiness of the fabric offsets the boyishness of the boyshorts!) Each day of the week you can tell someone those three little words in Spanish, English, German, Hebrew, Italian, Chinese and French.  Damn, I wish I’d had these panties when I studied abroad in Prague, because I might’ve had more to say to the French dude…and the Italian dude…and…ah, nevermind.