Gwyneth Paltrow got a “C” tattooed on her thigh, Cindy Adams reported in today’s New York Post. That’s “C” for Chris Martin and Coldplay. I don’t understand getting a tattoo in honor of a significant other—a blood relative, maybe (after all, you’re already stuck with them forever). Perhaps this is a highly pessimistic opinion, but I think getting tattooed with someone’s name almost guarantees the relationship won’t last, as a few celebs have learned…

Trojan has asked Johnny Depp to be the spokesman for their brand, hoping that he’ll star in TV commercials promoting magnums (we knew it!) and help them with their sex safe campaign in which the brand plans to send free condoms to Third World countries. DListed suggests that the tagline for the Magnum campaign be, “If if it’s big enough for Johnny, it’s big enough for you”, which cracks us up and also makes us kind of hot. [DListed]

At one point we knocked Vanessa Paradis for a terrible performance she gave at a European Awards Show. But only because we knew she could do so much better! Johnny Depp is rumored to have directed Vanessa’s new video for her song “L’Incendie”—longtime fans of her music, we’re psyched by the cool rock ‘n’ roll meets French pop vibe. We also think it’s wicked cool that Vanessa left that massive gap between her teeth, instead of getting veneers like every pop tartlet we have in the States. She’s hot.

Just when you thought you couldn’t want to bone Johnny Depp more, he finds a new way to reach out and touch you. While he may be filming a movie called Public Enemies, privately, Depp is a hero. When one of his teenage fans in the U.K., Sophie Wilkinson, was in a bad car accident that put her in a coma, her father desperately wrote her favorite actor, J.D., hoping he could help. The Pirates of the Caribbean star, moved by the story, recorded a special message for her in his “Jack Sparrow” voice. When they played the tape, the teen made her first move in five months of hospitalization, tapping her right leg, finally giving her parents hope that she’ll recover. Swoon! [IDLYITW]

Magazines tamper with photos to make women appear skinnier, more busty, and wrinkle-free. That’s a given. But in movies, you can sometimes see a little breakout or some crow’s feet on an actor’s face when there’s a closeup shot. It might be a little mean or insensitive, but I find it reassuring to know that even really attractive people get zits every now and again. Sadly, though, these minor blemishes in movies will be going the way of the double-chin in magazines. With Photoshop-like programs, post-production companies can correct or change colors, erasing frown lines, and shave off 5-o’clock shadows, and it’s happening more often now that the cost has gone down. Digital coloring specialist Stefan Sonnenfeld told NPR that he had touched up Tom Cruise’s face in Mission Impossible: III and Johnny Depp’s in Sweeney Todd, and some stars even have digital coloring written into their contracts. Perhaps this will negate the need for Botox? [NPR]

We’ve long been fans of cardigans for ourselves, especially the oversized, boyfriend-style ones. But since Mr. Rogers (may he rest in peace), we hadn’t seen too many gentlemen geeking out in button-down sweaters. However, over the last few months, several of our guy friends have asked our opinion about the sweaters, and British store Asda has sold more cardigans in the past two months as they have in the last three years put together—they sold 226,000 in January alone. We love smart guys, and cardigans are a little like glasses in that they both have that Clark Kent-style, hidden-sexiness allure about them. Plus, Johnny Depp and David Beckham have been buttoning up lately, and as Johnny and Becks go, so goes the rest of the world. [Telegraph.co.uk and J.Crew]

Oh Johnny Depp. You’re so hot you can do a musical movie, impersonate Michael Jackson, drag it up as Ed Wood and still, no one questions your sexuality. We women refuse to lose you to the other team! But now, after seeing this video of your wife Vanessa Paradis, dazed and confused, lip-synching at the NRJ awards in France, I wish you were life partners with RuPaul.  How is she your better half? You’re so suave, so sensitive, so sexy….so bad at picking up cool chicks? This lame model makes me wanna cry, baby. But Amelia swears Vanessa is actually a decent chanteusse and pretty much the coolest girl in France—so she just gives a sucky live show? [YouTube]

Like, duh, of course Johnny Depp is a “Hot Piece of Ass”—hardly a newsflash. However, it’s this cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone that’s giving us heart palpatations—a shirtless Johnny, looking just as hot as the first day he walked on the set of 21 Jump Street. The star of the amazing movie musical Sweeney Todd tells the magazine all about slicing people up,  learning to sing, and blah, blah, blah, who freaking cares? All we know is that the man has exposed his beautiful tanned flesh (FYI, that tat is his daughter Lily Rose’s name) and we desperately need some alone time. [Rolling Stone]

Seeing Sweeney Todd is on our to-do list, in large part because Johnny Depp is hot. But after watching the movie, everyone is going to be in love with Jamie Campbell Bower, who plays Anthony Hope. Yeah, he’s 19, so you couldn’t go out drinking with him in America, but he has a British accent, he went to boarding school, and he doesn’t have tons of paparazzi following him yet. Plus, he’s hoping to play Tom Riddle in the next Harry Potter movie, which is really cute to us, because we’re dorky like that. [The New York Observer]