After the rough year she’s had with her breakup with Italian businessman-turned-criminal Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway could use some good old-fashioned fun.  And what’s more fun that flirting with a new man? Some of our suggestions, after the jump.

The text message: the worst invention to ever happen to dating. Well, it’s at least a close second to the chastity belt. This technological form of “communication” has already left a trail of tears amongst my gal pals. From late night sex solicitation to crazy guys who use the stilted language as a crutch for their fears, the text message has been taking relationships down a notch. Now it’s bullying poor Jennifer Aniston. Everyone’s watched her ex John Mayer put on a show of his breakup blues. He’s been seen around town covering his puffy eyes with stupid sweaters and scarves.  But what about Jennifer? She’s been keeping the highly publicized romance classy by keeping her mouth shut. But since her friends don’t share her tact, they’re dishing all the dirt, and apparently, she got dumped via text! It all started with a heated argument where John admitted he didn’t share her “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage” plan. After hanging up the phone he texted her, “That’s it—the end.” Say it to her face! What a wuss. Damn you text messages, you let another one slip through our fingers. [Denver Post]

Yesterday, we delineated the celebrity lesbian personalities, from LUGs to Toppers, that create the broader Venn diagram of the womanly community.  Since we love our readers, especially their comments, we decided to take reader “Lilo” up on her challenge to break down the different types of straight males. So, here’s to all the men we’ve loved before….

Hint: He’s recovering from a breakup and the disguise may be a way of hiding his heartbroken, tear-stained face. [New York City, 8/14/08]

Brangelina just had twins and the magazine covers of OK! and Star are at it again, claiming that Brad’s ex, Jennifer Aniston, is desperate to not be far behind on the procreation bandwagon. While Aniston’s rep denied the rumor today, we still find the story to be pretty messed up.  First of all, Jennifer went from being America’s Sweetheart to America’s #1 Cougar in the span of just a few years. And sure, she’s headed straight for the big 4-0, but we didn’t see anyone flinch when 50-something bachelor George Clooney went monogamous with Sarah Larson a few months ago (albeit just for a bit).  No one was putting him on the cover of their trash mag claiming he wanted to settle down and spawn. Not every lady’s biological clock is ticking.

By now you’ve probably heard that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have asked Bono to be godfather to their twins Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. And that Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz are considering John Mayer for godfather of their unborn child. I’ve never really thought about famous godparents probably because I’ve never really had a great relationship with my own godparents, except for my late Uncle Eddie. However, when this news broke, we at The Frisky decided to research other famous godparents and realized some of these relationships are really surprising.

I’ve never cheated on anybody, so you won’t have anybody coming out the woodwork saying that I have. Instead of worrying about career damage, I’ve dated women. All I’ve ever done was decided that I fancied somebody, and said, “Would you like to go out and get a meal somewhere?” And done so in a social setting, where other people can see you. And then maybe “Would you like to go have another meal?” Maybe did that a few times. And then, when I realized that I didn’t wanna wrong anybody by continuing, said, “I’d rather be a great friend to you than a bad boyfriend.” I swear to God, I have a really good track record! —John Mayer on being an honest man [The Telegraph, U.K.]