The thing is, with the gossip magazines and bloggers reporting every little thing that goes down in the interim, are we even going to be surprised by the fake melodrama? We already know Heidi and Spencer are back together; we know Lauren and Audrina continue to fight; we know Lauren dates a couple dudes not named Stephen or Brody. I mean, they better have some stuff they’ve kept hidden, or this could be a boring season. Sigh. Whatever, still excited.

If I were Lauren, I’d be a little pissed. Heidi gets to be the answer question on Jeopardy? Also, can you hear Alex Trebek saying “duh”? [Fashionista]

“I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God…. God knows the truth in all of [the Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors], and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know?”—The Hills’ Heidi Montag

That leaves $2,999,980 left in her and Spencer’s bank account! [New York City, 6/9/08]

The sign behind these two corn dogs seems a wee bit too coincidental…. [Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt, Disneyland, Anaheim, CA, 6/3/08]

At last night’s MTV Movie Awards, there were lots of bad clothes. Personally, I think Ellen Page (winner of Best Female Performance) dressed quite appropriately for the event, wearing jeans and sneakers. Fancy dresses are not what the MTV Movie Awards should be about, especially if they’re short dresses. As Lindsay Lohan discovered, wearing a short dress while sitting in a movie theater means showing more leg than you may have planned. [MTV]

This Sunday, Rogan’s GO International line hits Target stores. But before you decide you’re going to skip going out on Saturday so you can be first in line on Sunday morning, check out a few of the looks. It seems that Rogan would like to help bring animal prints to the masses. Doesn’t Heidi Montag have that covered? (That being said, I may have to purchase at least one of the plaid numbers. Plaid is my black.)

I think we all know by now that The Hills is a semi-scripted reality TV show. Yes, the people are real. Yes, the cameras follow them through the course of their real life. But MTV also creates a storyline and manipulates the real life goings on to meet their storyline’s needs. This season, the story centered around “feminist hero” Heidi, as she took time away from her douchebag boyfriend Spencer so she could focus on herself and her career. On last night’s season finale, MTV basically told the viewers that Heidi had a decision to make between two very different choices—focus solely on her career as a event planner for Brent Bolthouse Productions in Las Vegas or go home with Spencer without even giving her boss notice. Guess which she chose?

Heidi Montag went on David Letterman last night and totally gave her side of the story on the whole Lauren Conrad sex tape thingy. Strangely, suddenly we kind of believe her! She comes off as weirdly well-spoken and eloquent for being such a dumb-dumb in actuality. Anyway, too bad she showed up wearing the most horrendous outfit ever made. A negligee dress and gold shoes? Girl, put it away.

Remember how there was all that drama over Lauren Conrad having a sex tape with her ex-boyfriend? And how she thought Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt spread “that sick little rumor”? Well Heidi and Spencer went on The Tyra Show and once again confirmed that there is a sex tape, but that they didn’t tell the press—that Lauren’s ex-boyfriend leaked it when he tried to sell the tape to a distributor. Oooh dang. I, for one, think there probably is a sex tape, but I think it’s far more likely that the evil duo spread the rumor. Because, I mean, they won’t shut up about it.

Speaking of plastic surgery—which is currently a forum topic on The Frisky—Heidi Montag, who has had a nose job, breast implants, and lip fillers, supposedly wants butt implants. She thinks her butt is too flat and she wants to have a rump like Jessica Biel. Next up, feet like Halle Berry, ears like Nicole Kidman, and a vagina like Julia Roberts’. [Just Jared]