Potentially the greatest accident to ever happen in the food making industry: low-calorie, melt-resistant chocolate. Yes, you read that correctly: low calories AND melt free CHOCOLATE!!!! Some top-secret laboratory in Switzerland run by Barry Callebaut mistakenly produced the airy, rich, heat-stable and 90%-less-calorie-ridden chocolate and decided to run with it. The scientists’ claim it doesn’t taste like a fake—it still melts in your mouth and it has that delicious chocolate aroma. They decided to name the cocoa concoction Vulcano since it can be eaten when it’s hot and the texture is full of bubbles like molten rock. As of now, the chocolate is still in the works, but Callebaut hopes to have it on store shelves in the next two years. I wish it wasn’t such a long wait! [Daily Mail]

Whether you’ve been out on the town, studying late, or just watching too much telly, now is a good time to start getting the recommended eight hours of sleep. Cause if you don’t, you may be hurting your heart. A new study published in the journal Sleep found that women who reported sleeping less than eight hours had high levels of Interleukin-6, which triggers inflammation and ultimately heart disease. Even those women who sleep seven hours a night are at risk. And as if women didn’t already have it harder than men in a million other ways, add this one to the list because the study didn’t find consistent results with guys. So women, instead of watching another re-run of “Scrubs” or ordering additional drinks at the bar, maybe consider getting some extra shut-eye. [BBC News]

Our bodies tell us a lot of things. A grumbling tummy when we’re hungry, a yawn when we need sleep, those all too familiar menstrual cramp when it’s that time of the month. But a helpful list from SELF magazine mentions some signs you may not be so familiar with that could mean trouble. Read on to find out what the shape of your pubic hair could tell you about your ovaries, and what the texture of your eyelids could say about your cholesterol. [MSNBC]

With all the recent swine flu hoopla, even the most hygienically-lax of us have begun giving second thoughts to our cleanliness—soaping up for at least fifteen seconds, coughing into our elbows, and using antibacterial gel every time we enter a new room. There are endless opportunities to sterilize and re-sterilize, and it seems that we intend to use all of them as often as humanly possible. We’re nothing if not clean at this point, right? Well, true for our hands, but what about one of those other appendages women use just as much—our purse?

“Gossip Girl” obviously has the right idea—a new study from the University of Michigan shows that chitchatting might be good for your health. In the study, which ran in this month’s Hormones and Behavior journal, 160 women paired up and completed a computerized card game. Afterwards, half of the groups were instructed to discuss 16 questions like “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” while the rest of the groups proofread a botany article. The participants who talked experienced a rise in their levels of progesterone, a hormone that signals bonding and closeness, while participants in the control group actually experienced a decline in progesterone. And more progesterone means reduced stress and anxiety, and ultimately better health. So moral of the study: water cooler talk can be good for your health! Still, that’s no reason you should tell everyone in your office that you slept with the hot guy in accounting. [Daily Mail]

Last week, doctors discovered a debilitating ailment—Cell Phone Elbow. This injury rears its ugly head when your ulnar nerve, on the inside of your elbow, gets compressed, which happens if you bend your arm too much, either by holding a cell phone to your ear or leaning on your arm while typing at work. Sure, it may be apt punishment for people who yack on their phones allll day long. But it can be super painful, and even make typing or writing difficult. [CBS]

This got me thinking—you know those days when you just don’t feel like going to work because your bed is warm, it’s raining outside, the boyfriend is over, etc? “I have Cell Phone Elbow,” would sound so much better than my stale go-to excuse, “I have food poisoning.” Here are four other tech-related excuses that’ll come in just as handy.

Hold that diet pill! The Food & Drug Administration recently recalled a whole slew of diet products made by Universal ABC Beauty Supply International due to safety concerns.

The company didn’t officially declare the products contain an ingredient called Sibutramine. While Sibutramine is FDA-approved for weight loss, the FDA says products containing it must be labeled as such because it can “substantially increase blood pressure and/or pulse rate in some patients.” Yeesh.

Thirty-four of the company’s different dieting products are coming off the shelves. The most recognizable among them is Slim Fast. Other products include Slim Express, Royal Slimming Formula, and Body Creator. All products can be returned to the store you bought them from for a full or partial refund. Get rid of those diet pills, and play it safe—blogger’s orders. You know there are healthy and do-able ways to fit into a size six that aren’t dangerous. It’s not worth it to put your health at risk. [FDA]

There’s a pivotal moment in an episode of “The Simpsons” that has always stood out in my memory. When Lisa tells Ralph Wiggum she doesn’t want to be his girlfriend, his face scrunches in agony and he clutches his heart as if it’s literally breaking. I remember giggling at the exaggeration and then years later when my own heart got broken, I put my hand to my chest and felt his pain.

This week on “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” guest star Dean McDermott (Tori Spelling’s hubby) had on toenail polish! Say what? Both he and Kate Beckinsale’s director husband, Len Wiseman, have been seen strutting around LA in sandals to show off their colorful polish.  But with around 30% of salon clients being male, they’re not the only bros getting their feet professionally pedicured. As hotel spa director, David Erlich, says, when it comes to treating your tootsies, “Men are the new women.” Yeah, the mantyhose, bras, garter belts, and girdles for men sorta hinted at that…

The Jonas Brothers may lose their virginity sooner than they had planned—and maybe they’ll make some Jonas Bastard Babies while they’re at it. A recent federal study has discovered that teens who pledge virginity until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who don’t promise to wait until they’ve got a ring on it. They’re also much more likely to screw without condoms and other forms of birth control. “Taking a pledge doesn’t seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior,” said study author Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. “But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking.” In fact, the number of students who reported condom use during sex was about 10 percent lower for those who had taken the pledge.

Any physical activity is good activity is the message behind the federal guidelines for physical activity, which the Department of Health and Human Services released this month. The core guideline is that Americans should get at least 150 minutes of moderately intense activity per week, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend that time in the gym. For the first time, a variety of activities, including daily chores and physically-demanding occupations, count toward physical activity, which can lower the risk of early death, heart disease, stroke and high blood pressure. But thankfully, the feds have realized that physical activity isn’t one-size-fits-all, so after the jump find recommendations for adults, seniors, children and teens. [New York Times]

After the nice long weekend of excess we just had, we’re feeling that end-of-summer pull to start fresh. Maybe because fall reminds us of blank notebooks, unsharpened pencils, and new clothes, this time of year seems like a better time than New Year’s to make resolutions and stick to them…at least until the holiday parties start. So, here are are few suggestions for what you should resolve to do now that September has begun.

Eat better Because eating hot dogs and barbecue chips might have left you deficient of certain nutrients.

Jamie Lee Curtis, 50, just graced the cover of AARP magazine wearing nothing but water.  And now she’s urging people to go au natural themselves and grow old gracefully. She’s speaking up about her own plastic surgeries, admitting to first going under the knife at 35 because a photographer made a snide remark about her “puffy” eyes. She’s had numerous surgeries since, saying: “I did it all. But, you know what, it didn’t work. The fraud is it doesn’t work…there are complications, and I got them all.” While Jamie Lee hasn’t specified her problems with the operations, we’re pretty sure one of the side effects is being stuck in a waiting room with Joan Rivers. [ICYDK]

The FDA is rushing to rubber stamp Gardasil, a cervical cancer vaccine, for women ages 27-45.  Initially, the miracle HPV-preventer has been well received by its intended market—women and girls ages 9-26. Due to Gardasil’s success, amounting in $1.5 billion in sales last year, its makers, Merck & Co, are looking to expand potential beneficiaries. Merck has found Gardasil to be 91% effective in women 24-45 and are pushing for FDA approval within six months. The FDA is already reviewing a similarly effective British vaccine, Cervarix, put out by GlaxoSmithKline PLC, which is currently used for women up to 55 years of age in the U.K. No matter who wins the vaccine approval race, this is good news for women. With 250,000 reported deaths from cervical cancer every year, somethin’ has gotta be done! [ Boston Globe]

It’s St. Patrick’s Day- the annual drinking holiday! While it might not seem like a good idea to pound back a bunch of green brew, a new study found that beer is the best alcohol for your brain. Just in time for today’s festivities, researchers from Germany’s Göttingen University published their claim that the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and spatial tasks, is 10% smaller in wine and liquor drinkers than in beer drinkers. The study’s scientists believe that the B vitamins and folate found in lager lowers levels of hymocysteine, which is known to cause heart disease, strokes, and dimentia.  So ask your doctor if beer is right for you.  Side affects may include puking, flashing, and bad dancing. Cheers! [Dethroner]

“Some guys can have sex several times in a row, while others need a few hours in between sessions. What might account for this variation, and is there a way for guys to make it so that they can increase not only stamina during sex, but decrease the amount of recovery time they need in between sessions?”—Ready For Another Round, Boston, MA

The better men eat, the better their stamina. Getting an erection (and using it) takes a lot of nutrients and blood, so men should eat lots of healthy whole grain carbs to provide energy. Zinc (which helps produce testosterone and sperm) is a good supplement to take, but you can also find it in lots of different seafoods, peas and lentils.

One time, over a very awkward lunch, my mom told me my dad took the “blue pill” (Viagra), and went on for hours over and over again. I can’t describe it, but the look on her face was not a smile. Still, if you’re not interested in trying the natural route, you can always suggest that your partner take a prescription supplement. Or, if you’re cheap, that Horny Goat Weed they sell at the corner deli.

If you’re pissed at your boyfriend, stop sulking and say something…or you might die. Preliminary results from a University of Michigan study show that couples in which both spouses suppress their anger at the other when unfairly attacked are twice as likely to die earlier than couples who were more communicative about their anger. So, if it really annoys you when he leaves his dirty, sweaty socks on the floor or doesn’t put a new roll of TP in the bathroom, speak up now or risk dying young. [Newswise]