Of course we all know fast food is gross. There’s the greasiness, the saturated fat, the unholy mass of calories just waiting to glom onto your thighs and live there forever and ever having little fat babies. Plus, what is that stuff even made of? We don’t know. But we do know it’s far worse than we ever imagined. Joanne Bruso, the author of Baby Bites: Transforming a Picky Eater into a Healthy Eater, has been documenting the life of a Happy Meal. She bought it last year. It’s turned one. And it is still doing fine. Look at it! It still looks the same! The french fries are as perfectly formed as the little plastic toy! That is wrong, wrong, wrong. Thinking back over the Happy Meals I happily ate as a child, I am afraid. [BoingBoing]

A movie exec over at Sony is trying to convince theater owners to sell healthy snacks instead of popcorn, and theater managers have been receptive, but whether patrons will hop concession stand lines to get a bucket of cauliflower is debatable. Honestly though, after working in a movie theater for about a year when I was younger, I only eat items that are packaged in a wrapper. The way the popcorn is prepared is nasty. Keep reading to find out how the theater I worked for prepared—and recycled—the popcorn.

Earlier this week Kotex released sassy new commercials advertising its pads and tampons — but advertising agency JWT butted heads with three broadcast TV stations that wouldn’t let them say a very naughty, shameful word.

Yes, even though your grandma has seen “The Vagina Monologues,” when it comes to your secret special lady place, TV prefers feminine hygiene commercials use a cutesy euphemism like “down there” instead of saying “vagina.” (And two networks weren’t keen to air an ad referring to a lady’s “down there,” either.)

Several years ago, Dr. Jeffry Life, “an age management” physician, changed his overweight 59-year-old body into that of a 25-year-old with the help of human growth hormones, testosterone supplements, and nutrition. This all sounds a little suspect to me. [Dlisted]

Hey, Brittany Daly of Steubenville, Ohio? You need to give Maria Alaimo of Staten Island — the woman whose plastic surgeon accidentally gave her four boobs — a call stat. Y’all need to start a club or something for victims of boob jobs gone wrong! On Friday, Daly filed a $300,000 malpractice lawsuit claiming Dr. Beverly Carl, of Bridgewater, PA, caused her “physical and emotional discomfort” when she gave her the wrong implants in a 2008 boob job.

Back in 1968, British researchers began following 46,000 women. They compared women who took birth control pills to those who didn’t and found that those who began taking birth control in the late ‘60s lived longer than those who never took it. The researchers also found that the pill decreased the women’s chances of “dying from bowel cancer by 38 percent and from other diseases by 12 percent.” The experts know very little regarding how the pill prolongs life because the study only compared birth control pill takers to those who never took it, and other factors, such as a woman’s general health, could also play a role. They suspect the synthetic hormones that suppress ovulation may also prevent other diseases, including ovarian and endometrial cancer. Sadly, though, the pill still increases the risk of breast and cervical cancer for women who take it today. [AP]

Add this to your grab bag of fun facts about finding love that will not actually help you one bit. A new study done at University of Trier in Germany found that our taste in romantic partners is determined by our mood. Before I get to the results, my favorite part of this study is the method they used. I’ll spare you all the details but let’s just say that nudie pics, ice water, and warm water were involved. Are we sure this is a scientific study and not some glorified sex game?

Anyhow, researchers found that when we are relaxed, we tend to attract mates who look more like us and whom we’re more compatible with. But in times of stress, we are more likely to pick a partner who bears no resemblance to us. Is this further confirmation that we’re all raging narcissists when it comes to love? Not exactly. The theory is that humans have evolved to be less picky about choosing a mate carefully when times are tough. Isn’t that just what we call “desperation”? [Daily Mail]

For a wino wine lover like me, I just received the best news I could possibly hear. A new, long-term study says that women who drink red wine in moderation stay thinner into middle age. Woo hoo! So I finally have a legit reason to pop the cork on a daily basis. Of the 20,000 women that participated in this study, the red wine drinkers consistently put on less weight than the women who drank white wine, beer, liquor, or no alcohol at all. Why? The theory is that the body processes calories from alcohol differently from calories from food. The livers of regular red wine drinkers develop a separate method of breaking down alcohol, where surplus energy is turned into heat rather than fat. So those calories from your glass of Pinot Noir will get burned off while the calories from your slice of pizza will go directly to your butt. If you weren’t already excited to go out and buy a bottle of liquid dinner, studies also show that red wine can prevent blood clots and heart disease and extend your life expectancy. Cheers to that! [Daily Mail]

You have roughly three and a half months before swimsuit season. And if you’re the type of person that needs someone on your behind to get motivated to exercise, then a personal trainer is probably for you. But before you hand over your hard-earned money, you have to make sure your trainer is qualified and that the two of you will get along. No one wants to dread their trainer even more than they dread crunches. So find out what to ask after the jump.

Blogger Amanda Hess of The Sexist took her video camera around D.C. and asked a bunch of dudes to explain how different types of women-controlled birth control work, including the Pill, the patch, diaphragms, and Nuva-ring. Some guys get an A+ for looking adorable while trying ... while others don’t know what the eff they’re talking about. (Like the guy who says the birth control pill is the same thing as emergency contraception. No sex for you until you straighten that one out, bucko!) And an A++ for the guy wearing flannel and glasses who uses the phrase “sexual congress” with a straight face. Whoever he’s schtupping is a lucky woman.

Hey, dudes who read The Frisky, can you do any better? (And no looking up the answers on other web sites and cheating.) [The Sexist]

That iconic image of bitchy sorority girls using a marker to circle the “fat” on a pledge’s body may not exactly reflect real life. But sadly, body image issues were disproportionately tilted towards those sorority wannabes according to a new study published in the journal Sex Roles. Ashley Marie Rolnik, who performed the study of 127 first-year college women at an anonymous Midwestern university, found that the ones who pledged rush week were more likely to judge their bodies by others standards and to have eating disordered behavior.

As if ruptured implants and leaky silicone weren’t scary enough, a woman in Staten Island, New York, is suing the plastic surgeon of her 2003 boob job, claiming she was given four breasts, instead of two, in a botched breast implant procedure.  According to a lawsuit filed on Tuesday, Maria Alaimo paid $7,000 cash for a pair of 36-C cups, but Dr. Keith Berman accidentally implanted a “double-bubble” of boobies. Alaimo is asking for $5 million to compensate for the pain she’s suffered from her freaky mammaries — which poor jurors at the Staten Island Supreme Court had to look at in pictures. (How about that for doing your civic duty!) According to the New York Daily News, post-op photos depict Alaimo’s quad-breasts as “flattened on the bottom with severe swells the size of a softball on top. (Imagine what this would look like on Pamela Anderson, left, thanks to the magic of Photoshop.)

Yuck. All the more reason to keep our jiggly bits natural, right, ladies? [New York Daily News]

Puberty sucked on so many levels. Even if your mom (let’s face it, moms were usually on puberty duty for their daughters) prepared you with every book and lecture possible, you, no doubt, have at least one puberty horror story, too. It took a long time to get over the embarrassment of sprouting breasts, periods, zits, and awkwardness, but we’re finally at a place where we can laugh at ourselves. And we invite you to have a chuckle, too, by sharing your stories in the comments.

• In response to cigar sales lagging, Cuba is trying to interest women smokers in “the Julieta,” a milder version of its “Romeo y Julieta” cigar. The marketing director for Habaneros, the worldwide distributor of Cuban cigars, said they hope “the Julieta” dispels the myth that cigars contain “only strong tobacco for men.” [Reuters]
• Taking a cue from France, which has voiced concerns about how Photoshopped ads affect self-image, the U.K.‘s Royal College of Psychiatrists has called for airbrushed photos of celebs and models to come with warning labels. [Daily Mail UK]

Americans may be diet-obsessed, but we’ve got nothing on French women. When American Vogue publishes a weight loss article, you won’t hear the end of it for months. But in France, pick up any popular women’s fashion magazine, and you’ll find there’s at least one diet-focused feature without fail. Oftentimes, these publications don’t even try to attempt fake-holistic attitudes towards health. Take, for example, French Elle‘s review of the ridiculous Forking Diet, where you can only consume foods meant to be eaten with a fork.

I love my boobs. I even love the plethora of words to describe them: melons, knockers, headlights, hooters, jugs, bazoombas ... My girls are small but perky and look fantastic in strapless dresses and T-shirts. I plan to keep them forever. So last year when the United States Preventative Services Task Force changed its recommendations regarding breast cancer screening, I naturally felt a little sore about it. Their statement suggested that women wait until 50, instead of 40, to begin receiving mammograms, and that the testing occur only once every two years, instead of yearly. I was more perturbed that the federal panel recommended against teaching women to perform self-examinations. And apparently, I’m not alone.

Why do so many women experience mediocre, or even painful sex? It seems to be a plaguing female issue that never gets solved despite the vast and varied avenues you may have pursued—yoga, therapy, food, sex positions you didn’t even know existed. Here’s one you probably haven’t considered: Alexander Technique. An effective self-care method for improving poor postural habits that may be causing you unnecessary stress, tension, or pain, Alexander takes a mind-body approach to how you move. Apply this to how you get it on, and you just might find that you’re experiencing greater climaxes, multiple orgasms, or pain-free sex.

We talked with Rachel Bernsen, a nationally certified teacher of the Alexander Technique. Here, she gives you a rundown on what it is, some ideas for practicing on your own, and suggested sex positions (they’re simpler than you think).

Most teenagers sleep a lot, but not like 15-year-old Louisa Ball of the U.K. Louisa suffers from a rare neurological sleep disorder called Kleine-Levin Syndrome, where she can doze off for up to two weeks at a time. Doctors aren’t sure what causes these bouts of deep sleep, but they suspect something with the brain’s hypothalamus goes awry.

Oh, and FYI, Kleine-Levin Syndrome affects males 70 percent of the time. But Louisa is so gorgeous, we can see why the Daily Mail couldn’t resist slapping up her picture as a “real life Sleeping Beauty.”

There’s been talk about cancer and cell phones before. Yet in recent years the paranoia seems to have subsided and nagging requests from your mother to “use an ear piece!” sound just as laughable as “you’ll catch a cold if you go out like that!” An article in the February issue of GQ, however, asserts that perhaps we should be worrying. Is it possible that we may one day think of our mobiles in the same way we now consider cigarettes? Of course, convincing an audience of fans requires convincing evidence. Apparently, there have been some disturbing findings in recent years (that perhaps haven’t been well-publicized enough):

Some of us need proof in order to believe in the existence of life’s elusive mysteries. Call us skeptics if you like, but aren’t we really just being rational human beings? Take this so-called “love” thingy for example. Why are we all wasting our money on chocolates and roses this Valentine’s Day for an intangible, irrational feeling? You can’t see it, or touch it—there is no scientific way to quantify this crazy little thing called love. Or is there? After the jump, some recent scientific findings about love, for those of us who prefer fact over fancy when it comes to our hearts’ desires. See if these findings make you a believer.