“Oh, hello. Are you looking at me?” [Cannes Film Festival, 5/19/08]

Gwyneth Paltrow can be mega annoying. But even we have to admit the woman has got some style balls.

Gwyneth Paltrow got a “C” tattooed on her thigh, Cindy Adams reported in today’s New York Post. That’s “C” for Chris Martin and Coldplay. I don’t understand getting a tattoo in honor of a significant other—a blood relative, maybe (after all, you’re already stuck with them forever). Perhaps this is a highly pessimistic opinion, but I think getting tattooed with someone’s name almost guarantees the relationship won’t last, as a few celebs have learned…

Even practically perfect in every way celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow occasionally suffer from the ho-hum suckishness of life. The actress tells the May issue of Vogue that she battled post-partum depression after the birth of her son Moses. She suspects missing out on her usual accupuncture routine may have been the cause. God, this reminds me of how I just get the worst mood swings when I don’t get make it to my weekly Reiki session, you know what I mean, ladies?! [Us Weekly]

“I respect Gwyneth Paltrow, because she covers her babies’ faces – she never lets the paparazzi get that picture. I’m not going to put the Spice Girls down, because I’m a fan, but they took their kids on stage at every single show of that last tour. To be a child of three and have 25,000 girls screaming at you – I don’t think that’s necessarily good. But I’m not a mum, what do I know?” —Kelly Osbourne [The Sunday Times, U.K.]

Nahla Ariela Aubry. Cute-ish! Is that pronounced Naw-la? Whatever, it’s better than Apple. [P.S. Sorry Shiloh.—Editor] [DListed]

Oprah has admitted that she’s started to go panty-less. If that made you squirm, shake it off into a pair of her unseen favorite things: the new age girdles known as Spanx. The various styles of body wear, from footless tights to high-waisted undies, are designed to smooth cellulite, cinch waists, shape curves, and tighten your loose ends. The wonder for your down-unders was created by Atlanta entrepreneur Sarah Blakely and her brand has become an asset to women across America who want to look like they go to the gym. Even skinny minis like Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, and Jessica Alba swear by Spanx. However, be warned, while they may smooth you, you have to be smooth yourself. The real trick here is getting the granny panties off before you get manhandled.  [Spanx]