Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s divorce is playing out on the pages of newspapers around the world, so we’ve been privy to information that most married couples keep to themselves, namely how much they have sex. Last week it was rumored that Madonna was always too tired for sex because she works out so hard-core. Supposedly the two hadn’t done much in the bedroom for some 18 months. According to psychologist, life coach, and sex expert Dr. Pam Spurr, sexless marriages are pretty normal. According to a survey of more than 400 people that Spurr did for her book Sizzling Sex: The Sex Doctor’s 250 Hottest Tip, Trips, and Techniques, 90 percent hadn’t tried anything new sexually since their first year of marriage. Nature might be the cause of the sexual stagnation, because research into the biochemistry of attraction has found that our ancestors procreated furiously for the first six to 12 months after meeting. Generally a pregnancy would occur, and then sexual activity would drop off for a period during child-rearing. But perhaps there is hope. Another celebrity couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, keep proving with every baby that sex can still happen, even after a couple years together, as long as you are the most beautiful people in the world. [The Times, U.K.]

After months of rumors that Madonna had been making sexy time with big city baseball star A-Rod, she and Guy Ritchie finally announced their divorce. Then, their son together, Rocco, was just spotted wearing a New York Yankees shirt. Yowza! But no boo-hooing for Guy, because just a couple days later, papa’s got a brand new bag. But the leading lady of his rebound, Kelly Reilly, has us all asking, “Who’s that Girl?” And how does she stack up against Madonna? Check out their stats, after the jump…

A certain amount of meanness can come out during a breakup, it’s only natural—perhaps you clean the toilet with his favorite T-shirt—but some people take it way too far. The Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce is the perfect example of a celebrity split getting nasty. Yesterday I noted that it was pretty crappy of Madge to outfit her son with Ritchie, Rocco, in a Yankees t-shirt, considering her new BF is Yankees player Alex Rodriguez and she was apparently having spiritually sexual relations with him pre-split. Ritchie thought it was crappy too! According to Us Weekly, he’s “in pieces” after seeing his son in the shirt and “he’s actually been crying over it.”

Of course, if the rumors about their marriage are true, Ritchie may have had a little nastiness coming—he supposedly said that sleeping next to Madonna was like “cuddling up to a piece of gristle.” Oh wait, HA HA, that’s funny and probably true. Whatever. The behavior of these two is nothing new in Tinseltown. After the jump, nasty breakup behavior tips from some of the worst splits in Hollywood.

Looks like Guy Ritchie has already gotten his rebound.  So much for our suggestions—the director has decided to dip his ink in the company pool.  Ritchie’s been seen canoodling with the leading lady from his forthcoming film, “Sherlock Holmes,” Kelly Reilly. How cheap!  Seriously, can’t he shag someone who isn’t on the payroll?! Although, he was on Madonna’s for seven years…one would have thought he’d learned his lesson. It’s elementary, my dear Guy. [LA Times]

Last night, just hours after confirming her divorce, Madonna, who was performing to a sold out crowd in Boston, dedicated a song to Guy Ritchie. However, the track “Miles Away,” a little ditty based on their strained, career-based long distance relationship, wasn’t exactly a thank you for all the good times. Madonna set it up by saying, “This song is for the emotionally retarded. You may know a few people like that. God knows I do.” Ouch! Poor Guy, no one deserves to be dragged through the mud, and the media, by their ex.

I have to admit, despite my complete Madonna worship, I empathize with the dude. In relationships, I often have a hard time communicating my feelings even if I really care about the person. Ew, just writing “my feelings” makes me squirm. So, while that attitude will probably keep me a bachelorette and make Guy Ritchie rich from his divorce settlement (supposedly there’s no pre-nup!), maybe, just maybe, I can save you some time. Under the guise of “it takes one to know one”, here are Five Signs You’re Dating Someone Emotionally Stupid, after the jump…

With Guy Ritchie and Madonna making their divorce plans official, you know that ho (as always) is going to turn to music to get her through it. Since she’s supposedly has A-rod waiting in the wings, her recovery period will probably only last a couple pop songs. Luckily, Madge won’t even have to search for tunes to express how she feels, since she already sings them!  So here is our suggestions for Madonna’s Break Up Playlist featuring songs by Madonna.

“You need so much but not from me/Turn your back in my hour of need/ Something’s wrong but you pretend you don’t see/ I think I interrupt your life/ When you laugh, it cuts me just like a knife/ I’m not your friend, I’m just your little wife.”—”Till Death Do Us Part” from “Like A Prayer”
This song from 1988 (during her marriage to Sean Penn) is all about a wife wishing her husband loved her more. Sigh, unlike the empowering hit on this record, “Express Yourself,”  which encourages a woman with “don’t go for second best, baby!” This song, a mere 2 tracks down, has the woman going back to her blasé husband.  Is there still a future for Madonna and Guy? Or will Madonna follow her own advice and “do much better baby on your own?”

Well, it’s official. Madonna’s longtime publicist, Liz Rosenberg, confirmed in an email to the Associated Press that the mega-star and her director husband, Guy Ritchie, are splitting up after rumors of marital strife for years. Rumor has it that Madonna and Alex Rodriguez are indeed romantically involved, but we’re kind of wondering who Ritchie will date now that his eight year marriage is kaput. The pair are aiming to have the divorce finalized by Christmas—who should Ritchie set his sights on for 2009? We have a few ideas….