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Getting Married

Wedding Ideas, Proposal Stories, And Secrets To A Strong Marriage

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Poll: Would You Ever Do The Proposing?

Amy Adams has a movie coming out this January called "Leap Year." The idea behind it is that after her boyfriend doesn't propose to her, she decides to go to Ireland, where he's living, and propose to him on Leap Day (tradition has it that women are allowed to propose on that day). While plenty of women ask men out on dates, not as many of us do the proposing. Do you think this will ever change?
Would You Ever Do The Proposing?

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Sex Diary: Sports Widow In A Dry Spell

sex diary

Here’s the second Frisky “Sex Diary,” in which an anonymous person shares the details of her sex life over the course of a few days. Sometimes these entries will be racy and filled with revealing romps, while other times there will be nary a naked moment in sight. Some of these diarists will be frequent contributors. Want to share a page from your sex diary? Email diary@thefrisky.com. All entries will be anonymous.

Today we have a sports widow who is not sure her libido is going to survive football season!

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About Getting Married

Would You Rather Be Married or Happy?

Asian Woman

On “Oprah,” I watched a segment on women living in Copenhagen, Denmark. I was struck by the comments of one particular woman. She was tall, lean, blonde, 44 years old, and enjoying her singleness.

Denmark has been named by researchers as the happiest country in the world. There is free health care, free college (as a matter of fact, students are actually paid to attend college), a year paid maternity leave, and four years support if you lose your job.

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Diary Of A Former Fat Girl: Sex And The Scale

Weight Loss

Tucks of skin trickled out from a pink, tropical bikini top. My half-naked body glared back at me from the unforgiving gleam of a fitting room mirror as I modeled a two-piece suit, gripped to the grooves of my body.

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Dear Wendy: It’s Been 7 Years And He’s Still Not Ready For Marriage

Dear Wendy Advice Column

I am 30 years old and I’ve been dating my fiancé for seven years. We have one child together and I have a child from a previous relationship. He proposed last year, and we’ve recently been talking about going to the justice of the peace. He keeps saying he wants to marry me, but now he has to “get his business off the ground” and get money for a pre-nup first even though he doesn’t own any property or have large savings. Before the pre-nup talk it was “we have to wait until we get the house” (which didn’t work out). It just seems like he is constantly coming up with ways to delay marriage. I tried to discuss a date last week and he went off telling me not to pressure him.  It’s been seven years — how long am I supposed to wait? I have been with him since college, we broke up and got back together. I can’t wait any longer but I don’t want to give him an ultimatum. Something is wrong with this picture. All of this time invested warrants a marriage. What do I do?? I am so frustrated and I think I need to leave. — Frustrated Fiancée

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I Just Married A Jew, But My Sister’s The One Converting

I Just Married A Jew, But My Sister's The One Converting

One of the most frequently asked questions I hear since my now-husband and I got engaged earlier this year isn’t “When are you guys going to have kids?” or “Are you keeping your name?” Rather, it’s this: “So, are you going to convert?” I was raised Lutheran, you see, my husband is Jewish, and the answer is “no.” The longer answer is: “No, but we’re going to raise our children Jewish.”  And the funny — and truthful — answer is: “No, I’m not going to convert, but my sister is!”

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This Is What A Beautiful Bride Looks Like

This Is What A Beautiful Bride Looks Like

I’m not even engaged and I frequently have thoughts like, “I have to tone my upper arms so they look skinny in my wedding dress!” How screwed up is that?!?! A blogger who actually is engaged and “sick and tired of seeing ads for ‘wedding weight loss,’” started up a blog where brides of all sizes can contribute wedding pics. We hope it’s a relief for blushing brides-to-be needs who’re sick of all the body-hating noise from shows like “Bulging Brides.” [This Is What A Beautiful Bride Looks Like]

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Happily Ever After Someday

Prince Charming

We all know the stories, a beautiful young woman meeting her Prince Charming, falling in love and living happily ever after. What these storytellers fail to mention is that you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your Prince and once you do, there are no guarantees that it will end in happily ever after. In most cases, it will end without the birds singing and wrapped in the pretty bow that we remember from “Cinderella.”

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What Is “Dating Like A White Girl”?

Dating Like A White Girl

Melanie Sims wrote an essay called “Dating Like a White Girl” for the November issue of Essence magazine. In the piece, she says she rewrote her “conservative Black girl dating rules” to have fun with dating and get over a man who was unfaithful. Here’s her explanation:

“Yes, I’m stereotyping White girls as footloose and free based on my first introduction to courtship (Kelly Kapowski on “Saved by the Bell”) and the White women in the cubicle next to me who don’t live in fear of some looming man shortage.”

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The Cutest Wedding Invite Maybe Ever

The Cutest Wedding Invite Maybe Ever

This is just a portion of the completely epic invitation to Jill and Matt’s wedding. The whole thing is about a foot and a half long and tells the entire saga of their relationship, from meeting at work to dating long-distance for seven years to eventually landing in the same city. It’s sort of storybook, and I love the simple presentation and the use of different fonts. But one question—did they have to use custom envelopes? View the full invite here.

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Quickies: The Honest Wedding Seating Chart & NeNe Leakes Doesn’t Like Her “Housewife” Role

The Honest Wedding Seating Chart
  • Where you’ll sit at a wedding reception is kind of a toss-up dependent upon how much the couple likes you. Will you be with the bride’s hot friends or the old geezers? Here’s an honest look at how the decision is made. [Maxim]
  • A Brooklyn artist named Bernard “Butch” Belair has filed a lawsuit against Bratz Dolls manufacturer MGA Entertainment and Mattel, the toy company that won the rights to the dolls, because he claims the dolls were a blatant rip-off of the cartoonish women featured in Steve Madden ads. [NYPost.com]—This recession has everyone sue-happy, but I understand his anger.
  • Going Rouge, a spoof of Sarah Palin‘s memoir Going Rogue, will hit bookshelves the same day as its target. [The Guardian]—Sounds like a must-read.
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A Super Mario Land Proposal

And this, ladies, is why you want to marry a geek. Because he will hack your Super Mario Land game so that it proposes. [BuzzFeed]

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Dear Wendy: He’s Not Ready For Marriage

Dear Wendy Advice Column

I am 26 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. Our relationship started off with many issues—I had just ended a very serious relationship and he was getting over an unrequited love. We had a blast together the first few months because there was very little expectation of our relationship becoming more than just a summer fling. But our feelings for each other didn’t end so we gave it another shot. The first few months of trying again were pretty rough because of our insecurities, but now things are at a very good place.  We have been living together for a few months and share everything together. We’ve said the big L word, and tell each other that every day. But my boyfriend seems a bit phobic about getting engaged and married, and I’m not sure if he’s just afraid of that commitment or if it’s with me.  We have talked about having children together, but more jokingly than seriously. When I asked him if he plans on marrying me someday, his answer has always been “I want to,” but I’m not convinced. He tells me that he loves me, but not enough for that level of commitment yet. I don’t want to be in a relationship if I’m not “the one.”  Is this a bad sign that our relationship will not get there? Am I overreacting and being too impatient? — Hurt and Confused

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Jessica Valenti Of Feministing Proves Feminists Can Get Hitched, Too

Jessica Valenti, Feministing

If you call yourself a “feminist”—which basically means you believe women deserve the dignity, rights and respect afforded to men—then you can relate to how peeps come out of the woodwork to tell you you’re either being “too feminist” or “not feminist” enough. Some people think feminism should be a spartan existence where there’s no frivolity allowed, on principle: no makeup, no “Sex & The City, and definitely no getting married!

The dumbest criticism of feminists we’ve ever seen happened when some people freaked out over the engagement of Jessica Valenti, co-founder of Feministing (and one-time Frisky blog!) to her boyfriend, Andrew Golis, deputy publisher of the politics blog, Talking Points Memo. Gettin’ hitched, apparently, is “antithetical” to feminism.

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Check Out Blogger Tracie Egan’s DIY Wedding Invites

Wedding Invitations

Blogger Tracie Egan from Jezebel is getting married, and she’s made some pretty awesome, inexpensive wedding invitations. Check out “Craft Cheese” to find out how to DIY your wedding invites for not a lot of money and create something that looks chic, not “crafty.” I love the stark black and green silhouette image of their faces, which Egan designed herself on her computer, as well as the decorative framing illustration that echoes her husband-to-be’s last name. In a cool flourish, she printed real stamps that bear the wedding logo. All told, the project took her 20 hours, an experience she describes as “therapeutic.” [One D at a Time]

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Would You Marry A Man Who Is Morbidly Obese?

Yesterday, I came across a wedding story in the Washington Post that caught my eye: “In the End It’s a Fairy Tale.” Who doesn’t like a happy ending? It was the wedding story of interior designer Kerilyn Fox, 34, and chef Peter Russo, 38. The bride describes their path to the altar as “part fairy tale, part ‘Jerry Springer’ episode.” They were together; they broke up. He proposed; she turned him down. She moved in with another man; finally, she left the other man for Russo. Fox says they were “meant to be,” adding, “In the end it’s a fairy tale. I’m marrying the man of my dreams.” The story is accompanied by a photo slide show, and while they seem like a happy, well-matched couple, I couldn’t help but notice Russo looks to be morbidly obese. That got me wondering: Would you marry the man of your dreams ... if he was obese? Put your thoughts in the comments. 

NOTE: The Washington Post requested that we take down the photo. So we did.

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6 Bad Reasons To Marry, Starring Khloe Kardashian

Crying Bride

As I was taking in a soda pop and the morning interweb browse today, I noticed that one of the Kardashian sisters became engaged, “Whoopty-doo hurray!,” I thought. I was pretty happy for Kim and her guy Reggie Bush, I mean “finally,” right? They’d had a tough go of it, but maybe it’s just meant to be. But it wasn’t Kim Kardashian getting engaged. Which means that it must be have been Kourtney Kardashian, the expecting sister who is yet unmarried and unbetrothed. Way to “do the right thing,” Scott Disick, I thought. But I still was guessing the wrong Kardashian. It turns out that baby Khloe Kardashian is going to beat her older, diminutive sisters down the aisle.

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Ladies, Your Engagement Ring Is A Bad “Investment”

pic of diamond ring

The good news: my boyfriend has engagement rings on the brain. The bad news: he’s been reading the Freakonomics Blog on the New York Times website. Why is this bad? The Freakonomics economists solve puzzling economic capers of day-to-day life, most recently tackling what a “bad investment” it is for a man to give his girlfriend a diamond ring:

Q: It doesn’t seem rational for a young man to give his girlfriend an expensive engagement ring when he proposes. My thought is that the most efficient use of that dollar is to invest it into something that a young couple would value most e.g. a down payment on a first house, etc. The diamond market is a monopoly and diamond prices are manipulated so that prices are always high. Can you construct a concise and logical argument that young men across the world can use to not buy diamond rings? After all, you already are offering the most valuable thing that you have (your heart) to your soon-to-be bride. In this age, why is a token like an overpriced rock still needed?

In response to this penny-pincher’s question, economist Tim Harford replied, “I tend to agree with you.”

Uh oh.

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Couple Who Met As Kids Got Married 70 Years Later

Rowland Fellows and Beth Ashley marry after 70 years apart

How we missed this cuteness in last weekend’s New York Times, we have no idea. Rowland Fellows, 84, and Beth Ashley, 83, met when they were 13 and 12 years old, respectively, and their families were both vacationing in Five Islands, ME. Back then, they were friends, but Ashley had a major crush on Fellows. “I thought he was very, very cute,” she said. “I kept wishing he would kiss me and become my boyfriend. It was a little girl crush, but it was very serious on my part.” They saw each other every summer for four years, but crush never developed into anything. “I guess I just wasn’t a very romantic young man,” Mr. Fellows told the Times. “But Beth was sort of a tomboy, and I looked at her as more of a buddy.” Poor Ashley had been relegated to the virtually inescapable friend zone.

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Poll: Should You Tell Your Ex That You’ve Gotten Engaged?

iStockphoto A friend of mine just got engaged this weekend -- congrats! -- and is wondering what the protocol is when it comes to informing ex-boyfriends of this big news. I get where she's coming from. If you're friendly with an ex, should you let him know personally before he finds out via the rumor mill? Or is it presumptuous to assume that he would even care? So, where do you stand?
Should You Tell An Ex That You've Gotten Engaged?

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