London ice cream parlor The Icecreamists has found a way to get customers hot and bothered while they chill out with sweet treats. When the shop opens in Selfridges, a London department store, this fall, they’ll be dishing out “The Sex Pistol,” a Viagra-like ice cream. It’s bright green and contains penis-pumping herbal supplements like ginkgo biloba, arginine, and guarana. There’s a shot of La Fee Absinthe in there, too. The price, nearly $20 per drink, is sure to you make your wallet shrink. When will they make a version for the ladies?[NY Daily News]

Admit it: When you go on a date with a cute guy, you don’t order a big, greasy quarter-pounder and a giant plate of fries, even if you really, really want to. A Canadian study has confirmed what we all know to be sad but true: Women eat smaller meals with fewer calories when dudes are around. Even chicks who chow down amidst both genders tend to go towards the lower end of the calorie scale. Basically, the more guys present, the fewer calories a woman consumes.

My mom always used to joke in the kitchen, “Never trust a skinny chef,” even though she’s a skinny chef herself. Her words always ring through my mind when I see thinso chefs on the Food Network, or super-slim food critics like Padma Lakshmi of “Top Chef.” She is perhaps the most baffling—I see her eat plates full of food laden with fat (hellloooo butter!), and yet she always looks ridiculously slender. How does she do it?

Have you ever wondered how Jennifer Aniston keeps rounding up boyfriend after boyfriend? The secret might be in her kitchen, which she claims is “the best restaurant in town.” But it’s not because the actress gets behind the stove. All the credit goes to her stellar personal chefs, Jewels and Jill Elmore. “My friends love coming over [to my house], because they get fed,” she told O Magazine. Of course, Aniston is not the only starlet with a wonderful chef in the kitchen. Tons of celebs are served up food in the comfort of their own homes crafted personally for them by the best in the business. [People]

After the jump, some of the hottest Hollywood chefs who really warm our appetite.

• Everyone always goes for the green M&Ms (horndogs!), but perhaps you should consider reaching for the blue. Turns out, the compound “Brilliant Blue G,” which makes blue M&Ms blue, can be used to treat spinal cord injuries. Injecting just the right amount of this dye appears to make recovery much faster. The downside? The stuff makes your skin bright blue for a little while. How Smurfy. [Telegraph UK]
• Coca-Cola’s newest drink “Vio” is one part milk and one part seltzer water—and we’re just not sure how that combo could possibly end well. Even more questionable—it comes in flavors like citrus burst, peach mango, tropical colada, and very berry. It has no artificial crap in it but, um, it’s carbonated milk. Gross. [Daily Mail UK]
• The New York Times is up in arms because a number of the characters in the newest “Harry Potter” flick are shown gulping down butterbeer. They say the scenes are all about underaged drinking, but Warner Bros claims that’s “open to different interpretations.” My interpretation? This is like saying root beer is bad news. [NY Times]

Slow Cow may look like one of those Red Bull-type energy drinks that line the shelves of America’s convenience stores, but it’s the exact opposite. The Canadian beverage claims to slow your roll via the a main ingredient, L-Theanine, an amino acid that relaxes, but doesn’t induce sleepiness. Slow Cow also claims that this miracle element reduces anxiety, clears your mind, and can even help symptoms of PMS. Americans, however, are so accustomed to the go, go, go of coffee culture that it’s difficult to imagine a trend of “mellow drinks.” After all, we can think of some, ahem, other things that do that for you. [Slowcowdrink.com]

Who says you can’t play with your food? While we never thought “adorable” was a word we’d use to describe our lunch, these Hello Kitty and cartoon-inspired bento boxes merit the term. Yum. [Irresistable.fr]

The culinary-minded boozehounds of the world (aka pretty much anyone who eats and takes a gander into the kitchen once in a while) will love this news: Recipe and food mega-site Epicurious is now recommending a few alcoholic grape juice options that jibe well with whatever recipe you choose to whip up. Working with the winos at Snooth, they’ve added suggested wine pairings, based on ingredients and preparation, to nearly 25,000 of the recipes in their archives. And according to the folks at Epicurious, “Each [wine recommendation] features the name of the producer, the varietal and the vintage, as well as a photo of the label or bottle and approximate price (which varies according to regional availability). Click on a bottle and you go to a wine detail page that focuses on that bottle specifically…For even more information, and to purchase wines, you can click on links to Snooth and various wine retailers.” And almost all the recs come in at under $20. Now, don’t chug-a-lug so many pre-dinner glasses that you can’t taste your homemade meal—or, maybe, for some of us less skilled cooks, that’s a good thing. [Epicurious]

If you’ll indulge me in a little gender stereotyping here, most men are total trash compactors when it comes to food. They’ll just eat, eat, eat, eat, eat anything on their plate and suffer the consequences in the john later.

Except, that is, when it comes to a fruity yogurt parfait. Or a granola bar. You see, those foods are just not manly enough.

A. K. Whitney at Sirens Mag has an interesting essay up about “gendered foods”: how our culture designates some dishes “male foods,” while others are “female foods.” And though there are definitely exceptions, she is correct that it’s women who usually nosh on “lighter” foods like yogurt parfaits, rice cakes, garden salads, and quiche.

More than likely, silly sexist belief systems are the reasons foods get “gendered.” But here’s another thought: maybe guys are just smarter than us and realize rice cakes are generally lame and flavorless?

Mamma mia! Why have we never seen spaghetti ice cream before? Italo-philes can buy a hand-pump spaghetti ice cream maker to squeeze out a plate of ice cream or gelato “noodles” and garnish with strawberry sauce and grated white chocolate, grated almonds or coconut flakes for “tomato sauce” and “cheese.”

The hand-held spaghetti makers run from $12 to $22, while the ones for commercial use run in the hundreds. You can even buy inserts to make “fettucine” or “lasagna.” Too cute. Also, we’re hungry. [Spaghetti Ice Cream]

This week, I got a letter from a lady with a spicy sex life:

“My guy was cooking and I pulled him away from the kitchen to get it on. He had been cutting up peppers and in the heat of the moment didn’t think about it and touched my ‘hot’ spot. Then I actually started to feel a lot of burning—I was wondering if it could cause any damage.”

Ooooh, I can’t resist a man cooking either. I’m not a real doctor, but my guess is if your crotch isn’t still burning, it’s OK. Vagina, you’re gonna make it! Although, if you do still feel a ring of fire, see a gyno please.

For the record, both your mouth and your vagina are mucous membranes. So, in my opinion, if your mouth can go on unscathed after a slight burn, so can your poonani. Now, with that being said, obviously, not every vegetable is meant to go in your hoo-ha, in fact some would probably argue that none should. But why let mouths have all the fun! Here are some tips for food you can actually enjoy….

Next time you are falling asleep and your man is crawling all over you trying get some action, tell him to eat something. After all, he’ll get more pleasure out of it. Sounds crazy, right? Well, an Australian study gave dudes a “pleasure quotient test” to figure out how much they liked certain activities. And surprise! Eating came in first, as the best and most amazing activity of all. (Us gals already knew that. Think: PMS + hot fudge sundaes.) Eating was followed by personal accomplishments and relaxing. Physical arousal came in FOURTH. That’s right. Just a fun fact you can drop when it seems appropriate. [Asylum]

Hipsters came out in force last weekend to participate in a Jell-O mold competition in Brooklyn (despite the group’s penchant for veganism). These attractive jewel varieties took home the prize. Duo Kandice Levero and Julia Greene called their creation “Jell-O Cocktail Trumpery,” a collection of bright colored gems encased in gold-dusted settings. Some of the stones stood alone, massive hunks of mint green, dark purple, and translucent orange resting atop cocktail glasses. The team also molded orange and lime green teardrops (that look crazily like real semiprecious stones) set in gold and attached to necklace chains. Bill Cosby, eat your heart out.

Check out a few more Jell-O shots (har, har) after the jump. [Eat Me Daily]

Don’t want to go the whole blow-‘em-up blockbuster movie route this summer? That makes two of us. Well, word on the street is that there’s a bumper crop of new documentaries hitting the big screen, the festival circuit and DVD aisle examining America’s food system this summer. If you’re looking for this August’s version of “No Reservations,” these movies ain’t it. The filmmakers are more intent on showing us just how disgusting eating has become. Think “Fast Food Nation” and the Humane Society’s debbie-downer cow video. An obvious suggestion would be to eat dinner before heading to the theater, as I’m pretty sure you won’t want to stuff your face after. Here’s the sampler:

Do you love to cook and adore eating, but you aren’t so fond of packing on the extra pounds? Learn a few lessons from Hungry Girl (aka Lisa Lillien), the sassy, food-obsessed author of Hungry Girl 200 Under 200.” In this genius cookbook, you’ll discover 200 yummy recipes under 200 calories, including cheesecake brownies and “fried” mozzarella cheese sticks. So start reading, and learn how to eat tasty treats while keeping that smokin’ bod of yours! [$12.96, Barnes & Noble]

When food has replaced sex in your relationship, it’s pretty much over. If you’re a month or so into a relationship and you both find yourself face-planting bowls of pasta on a Friday night instead of giving yourselves reason to clean your sheets on Saturday morning, something is not right. Favorite foods are not a substitute for favorite sexual positions.

Let’s be honest—first dates are horrible and humiliating experiences. Trying to do and say all the right things so that the other person doesn’t think you’re a complete freak is exhausting and no one likes trying to make small talk with a virtual stranger, no matter how good looking he or she might be. In fact, the cuter someone is, the more pressure there is to make a good first impression. Do make good jokes; don’t bring up politics or religion. Do wear a flattering yet appropriate outfit; don’t dress like a castoff from “Rock of Love.”

If you’re in or around Oakdale, CA, today and enjoy eating rocky mountain oysters, make sure to stop by the Rotary’s Testicle Festival. Approximately 400 lbs. of “cowboy caviar,” aka bull testicles, will be marinated in red wine, garlic, olive oil, and herbs overnight, breaded, and then deep fried. The event is a little pricey—$50 in advance or $65 at the door—but it’s all for a good cause. The proceeds will benefit the Oakland Cowboy Museum. All of a sudden, I’m not so hungry for dinner. Keep reading to watch bull testicles being prepared for a past festival. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.