Rock stars always look so cool, in part because most of them don’t seem like they’ve been manufactured by a team of skilled stylists, hairdressers, and makeup artists the way actors and actresses do. There’s an effortlessness about rockers’ clothes, even when all they’re wearing are old jeans and a grungy T-shirt (and even if they’ve spent hours getting ready and hundreds on the perfectly distressed vintage leather jacket). Worn Free can make you look like Debbie Harry, John Lennon, or Joan Jett, at least in the T-shirt department, because they’ve resurrected shirts worn by these musicians and more. Too bad wearing one won’t improve your guitar playing. [$39.95 and up, WornFree.com]

We’re giving away five Worn Free T-shirts, but you have to work if you want to look like a rock god. The five best commenters for this coming week—from today, Friday, March 27 through Thursday, April 2—will be awarded with one. So, be as clever, smart, and original as you can! Click HERE to read the official rules.

Andrea Vasa, a 30-year-old hot football—in other words soccer—player for Milan’s Brera team, is living in Dirk Bikkembergs, a high-end Italian store, parading around half-naked, lifting weights, and lolling about for anyone who happens to look in the windows. “Among the shelves and clothes hangers exposing the items that are for sale, Andrea’s personal clothes can be found, as well as the pictures and books he chose to take with him to his new home.” He’s got his own housekeeper and can invite over whomever he likes, but what if he wants to leave? “Before going out, Andrea will take a shower in a relax room papered with pages from Gazzetta dello Sport, compose his outfit for the following occasion, preen himself in one of the silver trophies, step into his Porsche and drive it out through a massive window that doubles as a garage door.” Fascinating! Too bad, Towleroad notes, the shower is the only part of the live-in scene that’s shielded from public view.

Fashion designers and houses love to have their labels plastered on billboards, T-shirts, and handbags. But who knew something as simple as a wrapper could get the fashion world’s attention. United Colors of Benetton joins Alexander Wang, Yigal Azrouël, and Marc Jacobs in the lengthening line of fashion brands that have released condoms. The Benetton condoms are made in Japan by Okamoto Industries, which also manufactures Beyond Seven condoms and automotive interior material. The condoms, which sell for $15.50 for 12, only come in pink and green—not quite all of the united colors, but the wrappers are kind of cute and not sexually explicit. I’m still not sure what batteries have to do with condoms, but maybe the message is that sex with a condom is everlasting and energizing. This designer condom trend may create a niche group of collectors ...

Dresses are the easiest clothing to wear when the temperature heats up because all you need to add are jewelry, shoes, and a handbag. This spring and summer pretty much any dress style goes, but look for bohemian patterns, bright colors, and light fabrics.

Psst. Hey. Hey, you. Yeah, you. Amanda. Amanda Bynes. I wanted to tell you know something. Your butt? You know, your banana roll, as they call it? Falling out the back for your shorts? That’s not workin’. I mean, it’s your butt. The bottom of your butt. And we’re all looking at it. Sure, sure. You were just jumping out of your car “for a minute” to grab some magazines at that newsstand. Really, though, that’s still a major TMI fashion faux pas you got there. And we have to imagine you noticed that fleet of paps following you, and you’re well aware that they’re standing there waiting for your behind to fall out of those crack-splitters so they can get a shot. So, why? Why parade your rear for all to see? Do you want to be the next Britney? Because we know where she ended up after all those flashes. Bald and institutionalized. What about you, ladies? Would you rock these booty shorts in public?

A caftan is one of the most multi-functional items of clothing because you can wear it as a dress, swimsuit cover-up, or loungewear. People will think you bought yours in some exotic, far away land, but all you really had to do was click your mouth a couple of times. Sweet!

Here’s looking at you, kid. This model wasn’t crying when she paraded down the runway during Milan Fashion Week wearing this surrealist-psycho ensemble designed by Madrid’s Agatha Ruiz de la Prada—or, heck, was she? It’s impossible to tell with that giant eyeball she’s wearing on her head. Who knew cyclopses were the new black? And if that skirt’s not sexual, I don’t know what it is. Or, you know, maybe that’s just me. Of course, this frock wasn’t the only crazy creation the Spanish designer concocted for her Fall/Winter 2009 line. There’s the baguette hat, the trapped-in-a-birdcage exoskeleton, Rainbow Brite Chewbacca, and, I don’t know, this chick just looks like a hedge. [China Daily]

Chainmail stockings, anyone? This outrageous, avant-garde leg-wear was created by Queens-based fashion designer and stylist LaQuan Smith, who is all of 20 years old and designs a line called LaQueue. Honestly, I’m not totally sure what these stockings are made out of or how they work exactly (I mean, how do they stay up, for starters, metal garters?), but I do know they’re mighty cool, and they sure look like they’re run-proof. Love them with the matchy-matchy shoes, but if you really wanted to take the modern-day postfeminist gladiator look to the gold hilt, you could pair them with the gold metal dress that matches. So, would you rock them? [Paint it Noir]