We here at The Frisky live for celeb gossip, chocolate, and your comments. What can we say, you bitches crack us up! So in honor of you, our smart, sexy, and incisive readers, who aren’t afraid to talk smack on the Internet, here are our five favorite comments from last week, after the jump. Oh, and between TODAY and next Thursday, if your comment is chosen as one of the best for “Commenter’s Ball,” you’ll win a sweet eco-friendly t-shirt from Quiksilver!

Hey, see that ad to the left? Kind of sad huh? I woke up on my 29th birthday (last Sunday), checked my Facebook profile for birthday well-wishers and saw that ad glaring back at me! It’s been there, non-stop practically, all week, a not-so-subtle reminder that two months prior to my 29th birthday, my fiance broke up with me and I became, yes, ALONE AGAIN. If the accuracy of this particular targeted ad wasn’t so freakishly detailed (how on earth did the tech bots know “a man suddenly pulled away”???) to the point of hilarity, it might actually make me depressed. After the jump, more targeted ad bull crap, on Facebook and Google.

The other day, when my 57-year-old mother asked if I could show her how to set up a Facebook profile, I realized just how pervasive the site has become. Unlike most of its competitors and predecessors, Facebook attracts users from a wide range of ages, backgrounds, and walks of life. As likely as you are to find a long lost roommate on the site, you’re just as liable to run into former flames, old co-workers, current employers, people you never thought you’d hear from again and those you wish you wouldn’t. So do you ever wonder what your Facebook status says about you to all these people — the single line or two that basically expresses who you are today, how you live, what’s important in your life? After the jump, 10 fairly innocuous status updates and how various Facebook friends may interpret them.

Last week I changed my relationship status on Facebook from “engaged” to “single”, since I had decided my break was now a breakup. Emma Forrester, a married woman in the U.K., changed her status to single too, only her husband responded by hacking her to death with a meat cleaver. Wayne Forrester told police he had been provoked by his wife changing her marital status on her Facebook entry, and had taken copious amounts of cocaine and alcohol before the murder. He’s been jailed for a minimum of 14 years. There’s really nothing I can say about this, because it’s insanely f—ked up. [Daily Mail U.K.]

Did Bristol Palin get married? According to her Facebook page, the pregnant daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is now going by Bristol Palin-Johnston. Did Bristol marry her fiancé and baby daddy Levi Johnston? One would have to imagine a quickie-wedding might be a tidy boost to Palin’s messy run for the VP seat.

You know those QR codes that Ralph Lauren Rugby is using so you can use your phone to buy clothes instantly? Well, a couple designers have a new idea about how to use them. Marguerite Charmante and Wolfgeng Peter Schmiller put QR codes on a dress, and, hypothetically, a guy could see a girl waiting for a drink at the bar and scan the code on her dress using his phone. Instantly, he could be directed to her Facebook page (or blog, or whatever website she wanted), and he could assess whether or not he wanted to go after her. Just another way technology could help us become creepy stalkers! [Make]

Social networking on the Internet is the easiest way to keep in touch with your pals, tell people what you’re up to without, you know, talking to them, promote your parties, and bask in your buddies love.  Back in the day, MySpace was like the Wild West—you could post, do, and say anything you wanted. Heck, it turned tramps like Tila Tequila into “stars.” But now everyone—including our parents [Even my mom got an invite!—Editor]—has jumped on the Facebook bandwagon.  It’s so mainstream, they’re making a scripted movie about the site.  So how do you keep your page fun to use, yet still appropriate for your family and co-workers? Here’s some tips:

Tag, You’re It!: Every time some bitch posts a picture of me with my eyes closed, a chubby double chin, sweat stains, and a face full of runny mascara, I want to die and/or kill them. But luckily, it’s easy to do some easy damage control.  Simply click on the offensive pic, then remove the tag. 

I recently found out via Facebook that my man-friend’s ex-girlfriend (with whom I’ve had a not-so-pleasant experience) is now living in New York, working for a former employer of mine, and is connected to a good friend. This is a major bummer, as it has revived my deep-seeded urge to keep tabs on her. I think the man-friend thinks I am crazy, but I truly believe all members of the human race indulge in a little internet stalking—and to prove it, I decided to quiz the guys on my IM about their habits.

It always annoyed me a little that on Facebook my mini-feed would say, “Catherine just updated their About Me,” but I never gave too much thought to it. Well, Facebook just announced that they’ve updated it to say either “his” or “her.” This is great for people who care about matching nouns with pronouns, but not so good for transgendered members of the Facebook community. Luckily, Facebook will allow people to manually opt out of the gender classification. “We have a lot of respect for these communities, which is why it will still be possible to remove gender entirely from your account,” said Facebook product manager Naomi Gleit. It’s nice to know they’re sensitive to this, isn’t it? [CNET]

Here’s the deal. A few months ago, I was dating a guy I was really into. One night, at a party, a friend of mine approached us.  Except, she didn’t seem to want to talk to me—she flirted with my man while his arm was wrapped around me! She even asked for his email address and then fumbled for a reason—she wanted to add him to her comedy show’s e-blast.  I’m so sure—at least wait for the relationship to die before you swoop in like a vulture.  But since I didn’t want to cause a Jerry Springer-style scene over it, I shrugged it off and thought, Nice try sweetheart, but he’s leaving with me.

A couple months later, that guy and I broke up and she friended me on Facebook.  Feeling guilty for making fun of her and even sillier for holding a grudge on someone who clearly wasn’t a threat, I decided to accept her friendship (on the Internet at least). But Facebook is full of all sorts of TMI—profile picture changes, updates on favorite books, and the one that got me: accepted friend requests.  Months after the chick hit on my man—okay, my ex-man—he accepted her friend request as well.  I did a little web-stalking and found out that they’re now dating. I’ve always thought that I didn’t care about exes and friends dating (like when Denise Richards hooked up with her friend Heather Locklear’s husband after they split), but now I’m rethinking my position. What’s your verdict?

Weddings are expensive, that’s a fact. But there are some things you can do to keep the costs down. Alicia Rockmore, the CEO of an organizational company, says no one looks at invitations, and you should just have them printed online or send email invitations. Cheap invites are one thing, but email invitations? I think it’s bad enough when I find out my friends are engaged by looking at their Facebook pages. Read the article if you’re actually planning your wedding and want more tips that may or may not be useful. [WDSU]

A friend of mine has been dating a guy for three weeks. They hang out a few times each week and are sleeping together, yet they’re not “friends” on Facebook. My friend thinks this is weird. It’s not as though he doesn’t use Facebook. In fact, when she was last at his apartment, he was on the website and showed her photos from his friend’s wedding. Conversely, I am “friends” with guys I went out with or kissed once, and now I’m not sure what to do about them. Do I de-friend them? Do I restrict their access to my profile? The online world makes things so confusing.

A Gawker tipster informs the website that if you go to your Facebook page, click on the search field, and then hit the down arrow key, a list of five people with appear. Who are those five people? So far, most people seem to be speculating that they are either the five people you search for/click on the most, the five people who search for/click on you the most, or the five most recent people you’ve clicked on. I tested the final theory by clicking on someone not in my five, but my list still didn’t change. That said, I kind of don’t want to believe that the people most obsessed with me on Facebook include a guy friend, two coworkers (Catherine and Emily—thanks gals), a guy I hooked up with years and years ago, and a random friend who I never talk to. That is depressing. Catherine’s five, on the other hand, is made up of three dudes she’s hooked up with, a guy we bowled against, and me. She is so pimp.

UPDATE: This little trick is no longer working. A Facebook insider told Gawker that the canned response from FB about this is: “The five friends that you see below the search box are populated based on people whom we think you’d be most interested in. Taking into account various factors, we attempt to make an educated guess as to who it is you’re looking for when you start typing a name in the search box. Please note that this information is only visible to you and will not be shared with your friends. We hope that this feature is helpful and we appreciate your feedback. Let me know if you have further questions.” Sorry, I call B.S. Why on earth would they conclude that this random chick I never talk to would be someone I’m most interested in?

One of the many stupid ways to waste your time on Facebook is by sending people “flair”—basically little icons users can put on their profile pages that represent their interests (i.e. a piece of flair of Harry Potter naked, or a piece of flair stating your love for boxed wine). But you can also send people flair that promotes rape! Like all of the ones above! So not funny right? I suppose the people behind the “Flair” application thought that rape was just like any issue, with a pro side and a con side and since they had so many anti-rape pieces of flair, they need to have some pro ones as well. Leave a message on the application’s wall, if this pisses you off. [Facebook: Pieces of Flair via Feministing]

Even as adults, we deal with the same issues we did when we were in grade school, i.e., “She stole my friend!” Friend poaching, as the Seattle Times calls it, has always been a problem, largely because we don’t have the same rules in friendships that we have in relationships. There aren’t accepted rules like “Thou shalt not date a friend’s ex without permission” in the world of friends. Having a friend stolen from you really sucks, and I should know because it happened to me in middle school. However, the practice works out really well for the poacher, who knows this new person must be at least semi-cool since their friends approve of her. Facebook has made friend poaching really easy. Go to a party, meet someone knew, friend them the next day. Some people would call this “networking,” and it is, until you stop hanging out with the person who introduced you. But maybe friend poaching is just a way of alerting you that you shouldn’t be friends with your friend anymore. Thoughts? [Seattle Times]