Twitter is down for the count. The massive social stalking site, depended on by 45 million bored office workers, celebrity-obsessed girls and tech-savvy geeks, is down due to “a denial-of-service attack.” People who perpetrate attacks like this use millions of computers to access a specific site. The site can’t handle the massive increase in new users and has to shut down. I could let this slide if the rest of my social-networking sites were working. But, horror of horrors, Facebook and LiveJournal are having issues, too! This is kind of like a social apocalypse. Looks like I’m going to have to work on that report I’ve been procrastinating on after all. Or pretend it’s 2003. I wonder how Friendster’s doing? [Washington Post]

Ever logged into Facebook and gotten excited about a new friend request, only to be greeted by a pervy stranger who is coincidentally also single? Well, those days are behind us ‘cause Facebook has removed the option to search members by their relationship status. This is great news for those of us who want to use the site to meet ... people we already know. But for those of you who looking to score a date (or whatever), Facebook isn’t leaving you too high and dry—there are still several Facebook dating apps that can help you sort through hotties. I am just so glad to see a social networking site listening to its members. I guess they finally learned a thing or two from Craigslist. [All Facebook]

One of my favorite things to come from social networking isn’t so much seeing how old high school nemeses have aged or e-stalking ex-boyfriends — though that can certainly be entertaining — it’s watching people make virtual fools of themselves in an attempt to garner some attention and perhaps even score a date with that cute friend of a friend they’ve been crushing on from afar. From Twitter updates to Facebook statuses — and endless photo tags, personality quizzes, and wall comments in between — social networks are ripe with endless possibilities for flirting, bragging, and showing off how witty one can be. As we’re all too well aware of, though, these antics are often more embarrassing than charming. The short film above called “Facebook Status Off” illustrates this point hilariously — check it out.

Why do cheerleaders have the most scandalous lives? Like, I know they really want their team to win and they’re willing to shout and kick their legs as high as possible to make that happen, but after that, can’t they just be normal? I guess not.

The latest cheer drama comes to you from Mississippi, where Mandi Jackson, a soon-to-be junior in high school, and her family are suing her former coach, Tommie Hill, and Pearl High School for the upwards of $100 million!

Yesterday, I did an interview with CNN Live about Leonora Epstein’s article, “Automatic Online Dating Dealbreakers.” (You can watch it after the jump, if you’re so inclined, but please know the style department will be doing more about my hideous under-eye circles and lighting the next time around.) That same day, Julia Allison, blogging “sexpert,” was on MTV’s “It’s On With Alexa Chung” discussing the similar, but broader topic of dating in the realm of new media – texting, Facebook, online dating, etc. You can watch the segment above. She had five tips prepared for Alexa and then provided two others prompted by viewer questions. Some of her tips I could get behind, while the others kind of blew my mind. I’ll give it to you straight, after the jump…

When I Google my name, all I get is websites about Spain. But when Kelly Hildebrandt entered her name in a Facebook search, a cute guy in Texas with the exact same name popped up. Wanting to tell Texas Kelly about the funny coincidence, Florida Kelly wrote him a message. After exchanging a few more increasingly flirtatious messages, Texas Kelly left the Lone Star State to visit the “cute girl” in the picture. A short while after their encounter Kelly Hildebrandt proposed to Kelly Hildebrandt. The Kellys shared their story with NBC’s “Today Show”—just beware of Jenna Wolfe’s cheesy “name” jokes. [Huffington Post]   

When British ambassador, diplomat, and spy Sir John Sawer isn’t in the office or engaged in covert activity, he likes to romp on the beach in super tight bathing trunks. At least, that’s what the pictures his wife posted on Facebook showed. Some Brits are freaking out that the soon-to-be prez of the Secret Intelligence Service is on Facebook in swimwear. They think it’s compromising his family’s safety, because the personal info posted about them on the site could be used by terrorists. [NY Times]

Cultural conservatives and grannies alike are bemoaning the end of an era. They wax on about a time when people wrote letters on parchment with fountain pens instead of posting OMG’s and WTF’s on Facebook walls. They reminisce over the days of proper courtship, when holding hands was considered forward. Many adults these days see the rise of internet communication and “hookup culture” as the undoings of society as we know it. While I love a good old fashioned postcard and swoon when I get taken out on a real date, I don’t think Facebook and hookups are going to lead civilization astray. In fact, I boldly assert that modern technology and modern “relationships” are the new frontiers of international diplomacy.

With the proliferation of MySpace and Facebook have come a slew of ridiculous pictures that chicks (usually obnoxious tweens) take so they can post them and show everyone that they are popular and hot. First, there was that one armed picture, usually taken while pouting or with mouth suggestively open. Then there was the peace sign pose, almost always taken with another girl. Bonus points if one or both girl’s tongues were sticking out. Next, came the sexy body picture taken by aiming a camera at your dirty bathroom mirror. When we thought it couldn’t get any worse, faux lesbian pics cropped up everywhere. And now, our worst nightmare has come to pass. The dreaded “boob circle” has hit Facebook photo albums across the globe. [COEDMagazine]

After the jump, a step by step guide to making your friends think u r omg soooo hawt with a boob circle photo! 

Friends aren’t knocked up yet? Fret not. Soon enough, you’ll have Facebook status updates like “So Westley had 4 liquid poopy diapers in 20 minutes” to look forward to.

The hilarious Tumblr Shut The F**k Up, Parents collects the worst of the worst when it comes to new parents sharing TMI on social networking sites: baby barf, boogers, and circumcisions that need to be re-done.  And now I realize that one naked-in-the-tub pic my parents took of me when I was 2 wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Yeah, just because we’re Facebook friends doesn’t mean I want to know what’s in your baby’s diaper. And neither will that little baby in another 10 years when he figures out how to use Google. [STFU, Parents]

First we heard that a Facebook status message was going to be turned into a movie. Now, a fictional documentary about Facebook itself is in the works. While it sounds like a snooze fest to us, apparently Columbia Pictures digs the idea and is working to bring the biopic about Mark Zuckerberg and his social networking site to the big screen. The script was written by “The West Wing” creator Aaron Sorkin and is based on the soon-to-be-released book by Ben Mezrich, The Accidental Billionares. Most importantly, Columbia Pictures is in advanced talks with David Fincher, of “Fight Club” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” fame, to direct. And initial casting searches have Michael Cera and Shia LeBeouf neck-in-neck to play the Harvard dropout. Since anything David Fincher, Michel Cera, and Shia Lebeouf touches generally turns to gold, if Columbia Pictures can get these folks on-board, maybe this flick will turn out to be more than “Revenge of the Nerds: Part 56.” [CNet]

You would think that with all the different advancements in communication having an affair would be easier. Not so, according to a survey by Telstra Corp, a dominant phone company in Australia. The survey found that 25 percent of Australian cell phone users found out their partner or someone else’s was being unfaithful through text messages.

When you are a former Dreamworks exec like Lisa Hamilton Day, and have friends in high places, even your Facebook status updates are potential money makers. Lisa posted an update on her page that read, “Lisa Hamilton Day’s Pomeranian raided Chinese takeout bag overnight, opened and ate a fortune cookie. Her fortune: You have strong spiritual powers, and you should develop them.”

Who cares, right? Well, Lisa’s friend Christy Fletcher, who just happens to run an important New York literature agency does. Now, Fletcher has teamed up some other powerful people to do a tween series about a pomeranian named Charlotte. The dog uses its superpowers to save her unemployed owner’s house so they don’t have to move in with the owner’s rents. As far removed as this story line is from the original status update, the deal somehow means that companies have to buy the rights to Lisa’s status message and to her doggie’s life story. So wack. [Publishers Weekly]

Facebook is a lot of things: a social network, a mega time-suck, and, according to Ask Men, a breeding ground for women’s craziness. Oh yes, women do crazy, crazy things on Facebook, and we’re not talking about reconnecting with old flames or friending their bosses, either. No, the kind of craziness Ask Men accuses us of is more of the “vindictive,” “manipulative” variety — like, get this, posting pictures that are “more sexy, more adventurous and altogether more exciting than she is in real life.” OMG, CRAZY!! I mean, only a woman would do something so off-the-chart insane! After the jump, 5 completely crazy things Ask Men says women do on Facebook.

According to the LGBT community, Facebook is useful for more than just sharing photos and favorite pastimes; it’s also great for coming out. Instead of doing it the old fashioned way—face to face—coming out of the closet now only entails checking a box on your Facebook profile page. Friends can then discover your sexual status at the comfort of their own computer, and you can avoid spending precious time engaging in what could be uncomfortable exchanges.

Gays, lesbians, and bisexuals talked to Time about the new Facebook trend, explaining that it has turned what used to be a tedious process into a convenient and liberating one.

“I just came from a courthouse where they practically want you to undress to be approved for official gender reassignment,” said Herrald, a practicing bisexual. “But on Facebook, I could do it myself and under my own terms. I made that announcement in my own town square.”
   
Oh Facebook, how we rely on you.

Most of us have some version of ourselves on a social networking site. We seem to lead a real life, in which we interact with significant others and coworkers in person, and an online life, in which we have the possibility of catching up with our best friend from sixth grade or rekindling a first love. At some point, our real life melds with our online life, especially in regards to affairs of the heart. 

A new Vatican website, Pope 2 You, has launched, and on it you’ll find an application called “The pope meets you on Facebook.” Yes, the pope is on Facebook. The Vatican is using social networking tools in an attempt to reach young believers. But you can’t “poke” him or write on his wall, so what’s the point? Lately, we’ve been asking the same thing about Facebook in general. After the jump, 11 reasons why Facebook is really dead.

For many of us, the rise in popularity of social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter means we’re rubbing elbows with family members more often than for Sunday night dinner. Maybe it’s not so strange when it’s a cousin or sister whose lives we’re getting a unique, new peek into, but when our moms and dads start signing up, things have the potential to get awkward. Take, for example, the story of a 19-year-old girl who wrote to Slate’s resident advice columnist, Prudence, after she discovered that her 50-year-old mom had reconnected with an old boyfriend via Facebook.