A couple weeks ago, JCPenney presented its spring and summer clothes at a fashion show, and after seeing a ruffled pink dress with an expensive Lanvin feel, I thought, “I must have that!” But when I looked at the Allen B. by Allen Schwartz dress on JCPenney’s website (on sale for $49.99), I couldn’t believe it was the same dress.

You’ve probably seen about a million resort-pretty striped dresses, which, if you want one, makes choosing seem both difficult and pointless. We emitted an excited “eek!” when we realized this breezy number by Velvet wasn’t your average tank dress. While the front features a standard scoop neck design, the low-cut back with triangular seams on the butt is unexpectedly sexy. For the brave (or those vacationing in European countries with topless beaches), go braless. Still, we’d wear this design over a bathing suit, or even with a white or navy bandeau bra for casual outings.

[$86, Shopbop]

For us, browsing Delia’s is like looking through a window into our teenage pasts. Remember the joyful day, once a month, when the new Delia’s catalog would arrive in the mail, and you’d carefully circle items and dog-ear pages? Those days may be long gone, but we still get kicks out of browsing the teen-tastic goods on their new-fangled website. And sometimes, we even find an all-ages gem, like this chambray ruffle dress, which brings the girly, but seems a bit more grown-up thanks to the slate color. [$44.50]

[Delia's]

Cocoon-like tunics have been popping up all over the place lately, and we’re loving the look as a modern, non-terrible alternative to the tent dresses we so abhor. That said, there are ways to do the cocoon tunic right, and, of course, ways to do it terribly, terribly wrong. If you go down the latter road, you will be nearly indistinguishable from a pregnant, beached whale. And while we have no issues with pregnancy or whales respectively, both conditions colliding under your tunic is not a cute look. Here’s how to pull it off.

I love a hood, and, um, a dress for that matter, but the latest celebs wearing a combination of the two has me feeling a tad perplexed (not in a “gee, that’s complicated” way, just, you know, “wtf?”). I’m sure it’s a comfy, cozy way to amble from party to fashion show to red carpet, not to mention a godsend on bad hair days, but as a fashion statement, it falls a little flat and looks a bit lazy, like wearing your pajamas in public. (That said, it’s worked before—‘30s film stars managed to make then-fashionable hooded dresses look gorgeous, which is honestly the last time I can think of where this was in style?) Also, and not to be a big hater, but when the two starlets road-testing this look are Lindsay Lohan and Amber Rose, well, that’s just questionable right there. Also, does this remind anyone of those post-bath hoodie towels for toddlers? Just sayin’.

Mullets are likely the most ridiculed hairstyle in history, but their influence has been great. So great, in fact, that we’ve been seeing mullet-style skirts and dresses popping up all over lately. Kate Hudson alone wore two dresses with short-in-the-front, long-in-the-back hemlines to two “Nine” premieres. And labels like Wink, See by Chloé, and Versace have similarly asymmetrical styles; some look quirky while others are questionable. Do these dress styles live up to the mullet motto, “Business in front and party in the back”?

It took us a while to come to terms with the idea that Posh Spice (some people call her “Victoria Beckham”) could design clothes we’d legitimately want to wear. Lately though, we’ve got to admit that her eponymous line of cocktail dresses is truly covetable (see left). But while we’re lusting from afar, someone decided to take things a step further over the weekend, stealing a delivery of 75 dresses at knife point as it was en route to Neiman Marcus. The truck’s driver wasn’t seriously harmed, but Beckham’s line will be if they don’t have awesome insurance; that delivery alone was worth almost half a million dollars! Here’s to hoping they find the (sort of stylish) creep. [Vogue UK]

London College of Fashion undergrad Rosalind Keep created this lovely trompe l’oeil dress that looks like a coat. Love it or leave it at home? [Trendland]

“At the end of last year’s winter season I got a super comfy and adorable jumper for a steal ($12!) thinking it would be a fall staple this year.  Unfortunately I’m having difficulty wearing it without looking like I’m in elementary school. Any tips on how I can make this look more ‘grown-up’?” —Ekelt2

Having spent 10 years all jumpered-up in Catholic school, I feel your pain. If you don’t want to go quirky with the jumper, take references to other school girl accouterments and turn them on their heads. The school girl undertone will always be there with a jumper, so it’s really a matter of taking that aspect and controlling it. That means skip the mary janes, avoid a plain white blouse and tights should be a little more fun than the stark navy I had to wear back in the days when nuns ruled my wardrobe. The good news is that cutting out these additions still leaves you with quite a lot of other options. Outfit ideas after the jump!

My older brother is getting married to a girl I legitimately like. I’m happy for them. Really, I am. Keep that in mind as I make the following statement: Their wedding and all the surrounding events make me want to hurl. It’s not so much the constant “So what about you? Is there a boyfriend?” questioning I’ve come to expect from family, our friends and people I’ve not seen since I was maybe two feet tall. It’s the dresses. Cocktail dresses for the busty and hippy are a difficult thing to come by. Usually, it’s a shapeless mess of a tent dress or a slutty problem of a form-fitting one.

You, however, can learn from my years of double-D drama. Use these tips to find a happy medium that you’re not quite literally busting out of.