Did you know that over half of married women regret walking down the aisle with their husbands? If you said yes, well, then you know some disgruntled peeps. Just kidding! According to a recent survey of 35,000 women, happily ever after is only for the movies. Duh. While most women admitted they didn’t believe in a “soul mate,” a whopping 72 percent said they have considered leaving their husbands. But comparing those figures to the divorce rate, 20 percent of them are chickens who stick it out.  Worse yet, half of ‘em were also completely bored in the boudoir or couldn’t remember the last time they had any kind of freaky deaky fun.  Dang, if you can’t grab your husband and say, “Yum, yum, gimme some,” what is the point? Especially since 79% of those surveyed admitted a woman has got needs. Alas, I’m single and I thought it was hard to get laid, but marriage sounds worse…sigh. What is there to look forward to?

Not to rain on our own bridal bonanza parade, but not all marriages end happily ever after. While there is no “right” way to handle a divorce, Brit Jo Wallace can’t be accused of moping. Rather than skulk around her house after her three-year marriage ended, Jo threw a divorce party. Sure a divorce party isn’t quite as conventional as a Tupperware party, but it was actually the dress code that caught our attention. Rather than don the average “night out on the town to pick me up a hunk of new man” garb for the pub crawl through Brighton, England, Wallace insisted that all the women wear wedding gowns. Not just any wedding dress, oh no, the most hideous dress one could find on eBay. Stomping around Brighton like Bridezilla probably doesn’t come up high on the list of conventional ways to celebrate one’s divorce, but we give Wallace credit for making lemonade out of lemons, and giving dresses that usually only get worn once a second life.  [Daily Mail]

As if there weren’t enough reasons to get divorced already, several crafty Continental Airline pilots have found yet another golden one – big money! Evidently, a loophole in a law that says divorced pilots can receive their retirement funds before they retire. So, nine genius pilots—seven men and two women—got their sidekick spouses to sign divorce papers. They concealed these so-called divorces from friends, and then got remarried after they were each paid lump sums to the tune of up to $900,000. Insert evil laugh here.

Continental is taking these suckers straight to court, calling these divorces “subterfuges or sham transactions.” Eight of the pilots have been fired or quit, and one was re-hired after promising to pay back the money. Too bad he never got around to it—he’s in for a crash-landing right back in federal court. [yahoonews.com]

After 28 years of marriage and seven kids, Mel Gibson’s wife Robyn filed for divorce Monday in California. With no pre-nup in sight, Mel may have to pony up half his fortune to his soon-to-be ex—more than FIVE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. [People] — Um, how do you say “$h*@!” in Yucatec?

I waited five months before introducing my boyfriend, Andy, to my 3-year-old son. All the books and advice givers, including my therapist, suggested we meet at a public place; I chose the Children’s Museum of Manhattan and invited my mother to come along as a buffer.

A German woman has divorced her husband because she was pissed he’s always drunk mean cheating cleaning. Um, we’re moving to Germany?

Pet custody battles are becoming more and more common. When married pet owners divorce, the animal they shared often finds itself at the center of their split. Monthly support payments, visitation rights, restraining orders, custody battles, and legal fees: Sounds like the usual bitter divorce battle, right? Not so fast. This time Kramer v. Kramer also stars Missy the Chihuahua, Sable the Keeshond, and Barney, a golden retriever-Lab mix. Welcome to the brave new world of animal custody law.

We’ve all seen the commercial that asks, “Where does depression hurt?” And anyone who’s been depressed knows that it hurts everywhere. But did you know that depression can damage the physical health of a woman more than a man?

Some Average Joe ending his marriage isn’t newsworthy. Similarly, someone changing their Facebook status isn’t remarkable. But when these two events combine, we take notice, especially when the wife is unaware her marriage is over, and dozens of others find out before she does. One day, Neil Brady of Lancashire, England updated his Facebook status with this message: “...ended his marriage to Emma Brady.” He obviously thought his wife wouldn’t notice. But a concerned friend in Denmark let Emma know she was single by asking a seemingly innocuous question: How was she handling the breakup? Let’s just hope Emma didn’t read the comments regarding her husband’s new status because one read: “You are better off out of it.” Although Neil claims his wife was having an extra-marital affair, we think this was an effed up way to dump her. Adults should be able to handle adult situations without the use of a social networking site.

Facebook is great for finding old friends, classmates, and that guy you met in the bathroom stall at that club. It also lets you keep track of your not-so-close friends. But since everyone, including relatives and current/past employers, is on Facebook, it’s also the perfect place to embarrass yourself or someone else. After the jump, other Facebook mishaps. Hopefully you’ll think before you post another drunk photo or update your status with your favorite sexual position.

A lesbian couple that was the public face of the same-sex marriage debate in Massachusetts is ending their marriage after four years. Julie and Hillary Goodridge, along with six other gay couples, filed a lawsuit that led Massachusetts becoming the first state in the U.S. to legalize same-sex marriage. The couple, together for nearly two decades before they wed, were married in May of 2004 on the first day same-sex marriage became legal. They announced their separation in 2006 and filed for divorce last week.

A source close to the women said Hillary enjoyed her status as a gay rights pioneer and wanted to try new things, whereas Julie was more reserved. After they won their lawsuit and got married, they seemed to have less in common. What tore apart their marriage had nothing to do with their homosexuality. Like so many other straight and gay couples, they just grew apart.

I thought I had heard every excuse for cheating—it’s payback, my needs aren’t being met, I was drunk, etc.—but this excuse takes the cake. A woman revealed to an acquaintance that she is cheating for her kids. Yep, you read that right. She’s not planning on staying in her marriage, so she’s trying to find a daddy replacement for her children before kicking their jerky father to curb.

Divorce is one life event that isn’t typically celebrated with a ritual. But that’s all changing with the increased popularity of divorce parties. But even if your homegirl really isn’t into the whole party thing, you can still make her laugh with one of these divorce gag gifts.

And I’m not just declaring it so because I’m no longer getting married and am bitter in some way. No, marriage is dying because the studies say so. According to new census figures analyzed by The New York Times, married couples, whose numbers have been declining for decades, have finally slipped into the minority. So while it may seem like you can’t find any single friends to go bar crawling with, chances are a small majority of all those couples you know aren’t married and probably won’t be in the future. This makes me positively stoked—even before I was someone’s fiancee, I was never super rah-rah marriage. Maybe it’s because my parents are divorced or I was still still reeling from Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s split, but marriage never seemed like the end goal of a relationship for me. I always saw children as being the big payoff of monogamy, not a ring or a wedding. And even after I got engaged—and was truly happy about it—I believed in marrying that man, not marriage in general. So now that I’m not marrying that man (for whom, I found out, children were not the big payoff), I’m back to thinking that marriage is nice for some people, but not the end all, be all for happy coupling.

Remember when Alec Baldwin railed against his then-11-year-old daughter, Ireland, in that now infamous voicemail message? Well, he claims he was suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and has written a memoir, A Promise to Ourselves, about his devastating divorce and child custody battle with Kim Basinger. But what exactly is PAS and why is it so controversial? 

New Years can inspire many things. Like a fresh start and sticking to your resolutions. But for some, one of those resolutions is ditching your spouse. According to lawyers in the UK,
January is the most popular month for couples to split up. Divorce attorneys say January is the busiest month for divorce filings. This is because most couples don’t want to spoil the holidays for their family and because the new year does invoke the idea of new beginning. Legal experts are expecting a record number of separating spouses in the new year as the rising unemployment rate and the crumbling housing market puts relationships under greater strain. Most of the filings happening on January 12, D-Day or Divorce Day, because it’s the Monday after their kids go back to school. Talk about a way to ring in the new year.

Over the weekend, The New York Times’ advice column, “Social Q’s,” got a query from a recently dumped girl who just couldn’t seem to cheer up. Writer Philip Galanes pointed out, the proper soundtrack can get you grooving to your own gloom!  He singled out Pink’s new anthem about getting back out there after her own divorce, “So What.”  He then encouraged the sad soul to sing along at full blast until it became her new mantra: “So, so what/I’m still a rock star/I’ve got my rock moves/And I don’t need you.” Yeah, that’s some solid (as a rock) advice! But Pink isn’t the only one who has weathered the storm after a split.  Since misery loves company, here are The Frisky’s picks for beating the blues to get you back in the mood to be your butt-kicking self!

So many men, so little time. Well, at least that’s a divorce lawyer’s motto. Corri Fetman, who handles Chicago’s romantic splits, has put up a billboard even more controversial than a pre-nup. Sandwiched between two half-naked models, the tag line reads, “Life is short. Get a divorce.” While some hopeless romantics in town find the billboard offensive, Fetman, an arguing professional, defends herself, saying, “Just because you see a billboard with a hot body on it, it doesn’t cause you to leave your spouse… If you’re already going to leave your spouse, the ad will appeal to you.”  Yeah, if a billboard can break your marriage up, that’s probably a big enough sign that you should get a divorce. [Trend Hunter]