When my mom started trying to lose weight just so she could be skinnier than me, I tried to support her sadistic desire. Okay, maybe her personal trainer wasn’t a personal attack at my waistline, but I thought once you hit a certain age, you just looked forward to getting fat—I already feel like I’m there. Anyway, when my mom, who I shared a size with, started trying giving me her “fat clothes” because she got so thin, I knew she was sick, but I didn’t realize she was part of a growing epidemic known as Desperate Housewives Syndrome, named for the popular television show that stars skinny minis like Teri Hatcher. With their role model-types looking “fit” over 40, more middle-aged women are feeling pressure to lose their extra rolls.

Drinking on an empty stomach is a good way to get the maximum buzz for your bucks, but it’s not exactly an effective way to calorie count. A new diet fad known as drunkorexia, where women choose to spend their calories on alcohol rather than food, is sweeping the U.K. and America. With beverages like a glass of wine weighing in with the same amount of calories as a light lunch, some ladies are choosing to be light-headed over a Pinot Noir than just a small salad. Professor Jane Treasure, chief of the eating disorder unit at the Institute of Psychiatry in London, says this phenomenon is especially dangerous for women’s health because it’s “…the combination of empty calories with no nutritional value and the risky behavior that goes with being drunk.” So, what do the docs recommend if you want to party responsibly? Eat well-balanced meals and drink low-cal alcoholic beverages, like a vodka and soda.  Plus, while you’re downing drinks, you can burn off a few extra calories by getting down on the dance floor. Hey, Macarena! Aye! [Telegraph U.K.]

The oldest bordello in Hamburg, Germany, is closing this April, but it isn’t the customers who frequented Hotel Luxor who are at a loss. No, it’s the four remaining prostitutes. “The end won’t be easy for me. I’ve been in the business since 1988. I like to pole dance and get guys excited,” said “Nicole,” one of the final four. “But in all the other striptease clubs, the dancers aren’t allowed to weigh more than 60 kilograms (132 pounds), and I’m clearly a good bit over that.” This is one of the more heartbreaking stories I’ve heard. Not only is Nicole losing her job, but she says she’s going to have to go on a diet before she can even look for a new one.

Hotel Luxor is closing because sex isn’t lucrative in Hamburg anymore. “These teenagers aren’t our clientele; they just couldn’t afford it,” said Waltraud Mehrer, the establishment’s madam. “The Internet is also a real competitor,” she added. “Many men prefer to download porn and gratify themselves in that way.” Along with the privacy of their own home, men also prefer the peace and quiet of a hotel room along with a call girl, rather than the busy scene of a bordello. [Spiegel Online]