Here’s the deal. A few months ago, I was dating a guy I was really into. One night, at a party, a friend of mine approached us.  Except, she didn’t seem to want to talk to me—she flirted with my man while his arm was wrapped around me! She even asked for his email address and then fumbled for a reason—she wanted to add him to her comedy show’s e-blast.  I’m so sure—at least wait for the relationship to die before you swoop in like a vulture.  But since I didn’t want to cause a Jerry Springer-style scene over it, I shrugged it off and thought, Nice try sweetheart, but he’s leaving with me.

A couple months later, that guy and I broke up and she friended me on Facebook.  Feeling guilty for making fun of her and even sillier for holding a grudge on someone who clearly wasn’t a threat, I decided to accept her friendship (on the Internet at least). But Facebook is full of all sorts of TMI—profile picture changes, updates on favorite books, and the one that got me: accepted friend requests.  Months after the chick hit on my man—okay, my ex-man—he accepted her friend request as well.  I did a little web-stalking and found out that they’re now dating. I’ve always thought that I didn’t care about exes and friends dating (like when Denise Richards hooked up with her friend Heather Locklear’s husband after they split), but now I’m rethinking my position. What’s your verdict?

Check out this cartoon depicting one guy’s thoughts about online dating. It starts out on a positive note—the girl he’s been chatting with says she’ll go on a date with him, and he even gets some virtual tongue action via instant messenger. Things seem to be going well enough, as they take a ride on a ferris wheel, go to the movies, have a picnic in the park, go to bed together…and then, you realize the guy is dreaming. This is so true about online dating. Since you haven’t met any of the people, you can imagine them however you want (with a face like Casey Affleck and a voice like Pierce Brosnan). You can visualize your life with them until you meet them. Then, you see that they completely suck or can’t hold a conversation or don’t look like their pictures at all. “[Dating is] like buying a CD, only if you like the CD, you have to call the store and see if they’ll let you keep it. And if you don’t like it, you have to call the store and tell them why,” one of my friends told me. That’s why I illegally download music. [I Am Bored]

It was our third date before Chris brought me back to his apartment. He was a writer as well, which should have been an immediate red flag. Our relationship was bound to see its demise surely brought on by rabid insecurity leading to competition, some hate sex and then ultimately an anti-climactic break up. But I ignored the little voice in my head and went out with him anyhow. Something about beggars and choosers.

First dates are awkward. You don’t know if the chemistry will be there or what to wear or even what to talk about. But there are a few things you definitely shouldn’t mention. Inspired by The Dating Lame and a bad date who described Iggy Pop’s sweat as “glistening rock nectar” (über icky) here’s The Frisky‘s Top 5 Words You Should Never Ever Say On A First Date:

5. Ex-boyfriend Been there, done that, now you’re trying to date someone else. Tell the sob story to someone who cares about you already and give this new guy the chance to earn the same status.

A friend of mine has been dating a guy for three weeks. They hang out a few times each week and are sleeping together, yet they’re not “friends” on Facebook. My friend thinks this is weird. It’s not as though he doesn’t use Facebook. In fact, when she was last at his apartment, he was on the website and showed her photos from his friend’s wedding. Conversely, I am “friends” with guys I went out with or kissed once, and now I’m not sure what to do about them. Do I de-friend them? Do I restrict their access to my profile? The online world makes things so confusing.

I don’t go out on dates really anymore, but I always liked ones that involved food and some sort of competition that I could potentially win, like bowling or blackjack. What’s your ideal date?

“I think I’m too much to handle right now. There’s so much going on in my life at the moment with traveling and there’s always cameras following me—all that kind of stuff. I don’t think it’s great for dating anyone. There are guys I like to hang out with, but I like to be the girl who no one can get. I think that’s always hotter anyway. It’s much more attractive to be the person everyone talks about.” —Miley Cyrus

Bad dates suck. But let’s face it, after a certain length of time, they can be pretty funny in retrospect. In honor of the grand tradition of laughing uproariously at disastrous dates, we’re taking submissions for The Bad Date Hall Of Fame. Send yours to tips@thefrisky.com – and if we publish yours, we’ll send you a pair of Frisky underpants. After the jump, a bad date keeps his apartment under lockdown—find out what’s he hiding.

Some young man wrote Debonair Magazine about graduating from college and not being able to get any ladies in the real world.

I have been out of school for about 18 months now and I’m missing the fraternity party days and how it easy was to hook up with a girl. How do you recommend picking up a girl in a bar? I feel that women that go out often are all so full of themselves, only want a free drink, and just don`t respond to anyone unless they`re great looking. —Disgruntled

Some of the advice given is as abominable as the “problem.” After the jump is the worst of it.

Aww, look at the adorable way in which modern technology brings people together. This kid asked his date to prom by posting the above image on the internet and then digged it in hopes that his crush would come across it. So much more complicated than just asking, but hey, nerds like a challenge. Click here to see a larger version. [Via Boinkology]

The “Modern Love” column in this Sunday’s New York Times was about a woman who dates a musician who has a kid with a woman he briefly dated. The guy turns out to be a bit of a child himsef, but the whole piece got me thinking about whether I would be down for dating a dude with a kid (specifically if I didn’t have any kids of my own). I think I would be fine with it, considering I am such a sucker for the little ones, but what about you? If you were a single woman who didn’t have kids, would you date a guy who had a child of his own? [Modern Love: Was I On A Date Or Babysitting?]

The good news is this: the first date was a success – the quirky, out of the way Thai place he picked was charming and he paid for the dinner discreetly. He didn’t inhale beer like a frat boy on a mission from God to get drizzzunk. His listened intently to your every word, and never, ever mentioned any of his exes. The hug goodbye wasn’t awkward, in fact, the both of you simultaneously lingered for a brief, awesome moment. On your way home, as you batted away the hearts and rainbows swirling around your head like little candy-coated moons, he texts you that he had a great time and he hopes to see you soon.

Indulge me as I imagine the single word racing through your she-noggin like a unicorn galloping through a lollipop forest. That word is “ZOMG.”

But the second date looms, ladies, and it’s your date to screw up.

Why does that busted butter face on the second floor have a boyfriend and I don’t? Why can’t beautiful and successful women seem to find love?  Why can’t I win an eBay auction?  It all has to do with game theory. “Strong bidders” like Cameron Diaz know they have got it going on, so they hold out for incredible, perfect offers. While “weak bidders” (you know who I’m talking about, cough, Brandon Davis), know they’re not strong contenders, so they tend to be super aggressive to compensate. This is how the fugs get the love—they take what they can get.  So, just like in the work place, when it comes to romance, you’ve got to be assertive if you want to get what you deserve. Mystery solved. [Slate]

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s Earth Day! I’m constantly reminded by my lovely yoga studio that I would be a better person (or at least a better person for the planet) if I went vegan and eliminated all animal products from my life. See, supposedly veganism is the best lifestyle for the planet because it’s the most energy efficient, saving a ton and a half of CO2 or equivalents per year. Additionally, vegans are always telling me that if we were to stop using all this land to raise and feed the cattle that we kill for meat, we could feed the entire world with the grain and stuff that could be produced on that land. I don’t know if that is 100% true, and I am too lazy to look it up, but I think it goes without saying that going without a big hunk of brie and a few slices of salami with your wine is a serious sacrifice. But what does the average carnivorous man think about vegans and would he ever date one, given the lifestyle adaptation that goes along with it? I polled the guys on my IM—their answers, after the jump.

Welcome to “He Wants To Know”, a new regular advice column where YOU get to play Dear Abby. Each week we’ll feature a question from a guy and we, with your help, will do our best to answer it. And guys, if you have a question, send it to us at tips@thefrisky.com.

Question: How should a guy ask a girl out who he sees on public transportation? It’s the dating equivalent of the elevator pitch: I’ve got a very limited amount of time and no prior connection to this person to make her agree with what I’m pitching. That being, a date with me. So, do I go short and straight to the point: “Hi, I’m Jake. I think you’re cute, and I’d like to take you out sometime”?—Jake, New York, NY

Back in the day, at a dance party in my middle school’s gym, a ray of light shined into my dark pubescent heart: the class clown asked me to slow dance. It was an unexpected surprise, as I usually went to school socials just so I could eat lots of M&M’s and Doritos. But a mouthful of Brian was even better than junk food.  We goofed around, got in trouble with the teachers for dancing too close, and made out in an empty girls’ bathroom. It was one H-O-T Friday night!  When Monday rolled around, I had my friend French braid my hair in PE, I put on some lip gloss, and then I bravely went up to my new boyfriend during lunch. But he pretended he didn’t know why I was even talking to him and made fun of me in front of his friends. WTF?! I was crushed. It’s easy to blame that kind of manipulation on adolescent immaturity. But now we have quite a woman to console—Cameron Diaz. 

Bad dates suck. But let’s face it, after a certain length of time, they can be pretty funny in retrospect. In honor of the grand tradition of laughing uproariously at disastrous dates, we’re taking submissions for The Bad Date Hall Of Fame. Send yours to tips@thefrisky.com – and if we publish yours, we’ll send you a pair of Frisky underpants. After the jump, a bad date uses the “feminist” card in order to get out of paying for dinner.

There are so many things involved in attraction. From clothing to chemistry, a never-ending list of items can be turn-offs.  But sometimes differences are a turn-on, from magnets to men, you know what they say: opposites attract. Still, some things are so repellent, they’re dealbreakers.

Oh, the joy of making all your girlfriends swoon with jealousy by showing off your hot new man! After years of being the token single girl, I dreamed of the day when I would finally get to introduce them to a sexy boyfriend of my own. When I magically found myself dating a real package deal—a guy with a good job, even better looks, and a singing voice so sweet I was proud to call him “honey”—I couldn’t wait to bask in the bragging rights. So, I invited my friends to a country karaoke night at local dive bar. I just knew he’d knock a song, and my friends, out.

Bad dates suck. But let’s face it, after a certain length of time, they can be pretty funny in retrospect. In honor of the grand tradition of laughing uproariously at disastrous dates, we’re taking submissions for The Bad Date Hall Of Fame. Send yours to tips@thefrisky.com and if we put yours up on the site, we’ll send you a pair of Frisky underpants. To get us started, read and weep over the bad date story submitted by reader Julia Tucker, after the jump.