Hi, I’m Dr. V.  I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…

This week, I got an alarming phone call.  My most recent ex-boyfriend went to get tested like a sensible young man and I’m so proud of him—but I’m sorry he had to call me with his results.  While it wasn’t good news, I’m truly grateful he talked to me about it openly. Sex is dirty, and sometimes you can’t totally clean up the mess, but you can always take measures to stop it from spreading! I know my ex was not so thrilled to have to call me to tell me to get tested too, however, it made me realize why I was with him in the first place. He’s respectable and responsible for divulging what he knows with me, for better or for worse.  Although it can be a tearful inspiration, I’d like to dedicate this installment of Dr. V to all the men and women, like my ex-boyfriend out there, who are brave enough to pick up the phone and show someone they still care by telling them the truth about their health and the risks they shared.  According to the CDC, who just this week reported 19 million cases of STDs in 2007, there are a lot of people who need to make a similar confession.  So, here’s how you do it, as pain-free as possible.

Durex’s new ad, featuring condom balloon animals doing it in various positions, is so amazing and funny, it could do a lot for the rubbers’ public image. After all, more than one guy (and girl) has complained to us about hating them, despite knowing they’re necessary in order to prevent pregnancy and the spread of STDs. After the jump, we tracked down even more hilarious outtakes from the condom balloon animal video shoot—those horny humpers sure get outta hand.

As sexting gets more popular, safe sexting gets a grant! A series of modern sex ed soap operas have been filmed and distributed via cell phones thanks to an endowment and the commitment of a New Jersey nurse and professor. Rachel Jones, the RN behind the video productions, has spent her career committed to preventing the spread of HIV and AIDS in young women. Sadly, her home state of New Jersey has the highest number of women living with AIDS in the entire U.S. Shockingly, 82% of infections in the 18-to-29-year-old group nationwide are heterosexual African-American ladies and Latinas. Nurse Jones is perplexed by the figures, saying, “It is astounding, it is a completely preventable infection.” So, she has labored for grants to normalize condom use by sending girls text messages. More, after the jump…

Men premature ejaculate because you are just too damn fine! Girl, you know it’s true! Well, that’s the concept behind Durex’s new limited edition Stamina Pillows. Originally given away with their Performa condoms that have a mild anesthetic to prevent dudes from beating you to the finish line, the cases feature some not-so-sexy pictorials—like an old bag lady with pigtails, a pearl necklace, and armpit hair licking her lips.  It’s pretty creepy.  But there’s also a redheaded guy with cabbage patch bangs sucking on a lollipop and we think he could be Michael K from Dlisted’s soul mate. Hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so, it might not work for everyone! However, we’re willing to try anything if it means we’ll get to party with our pants off for even just a few more minutes. Check out a few more stamina pillows, after the jump! [Popgive]

A German entrepreneur is applying for a federal trademark to use the Freedom Tower to market a line of condoms. His proposed slogan is “Freedom Tower: Make Love Not War.” Clearly this guy lacks originality; he stole his product name from the main building in the new World Center Complex that has yet to be completed, and he borrowed the tagline from the ‘60s anti-war movement. Relatives of Sept. 11 victims are understandably upset, and the Port Authority, who owns the Freedom Tower, is scrambling to block his use of the name. If he needs to find an alternate name for his line of condoms, he should check our list of phallic-shaped buildings—doesn’t “Big Ben Condoms” have a nice ring to it? [NY Post]

The Jonas Brothers may lose their virginity sooner than they had planned—and maybe they’ll make some Jonas Bastard Babies while they’re at it. A recent federal study has discovered that teens who pledge virginity until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who don’t promise to wait until they’ve got a ring on it. They’re also much more likely to screw without condoms and other forms of birth control. “Taking a pledge doesn’t seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior,” said study author Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. “But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking.” In fact, the number of students who reported condom use during sex was about 10 percent lower for those who had taken the pledge.

A Note On Playing It Safe: The Frisky thinks safe sex is smart sex - so please practice it in the way that’s right for your relationship.

So, NPR posted a story saying that condom-less sex is the new engagement ring, because going bareback shows the same or similar kind of intimacy and trust and commitment that traditional marriage does. I see their point, though the man-friend and I dropped the connies well before we got engaged—but only when we’d agreed to be monogamous and had done the all important STD-tests etc. Over at fellow lady blog Jezebel, outgoing Features Editor Moe says about sex without a condom:

“...here is the irrefutable: it feels awesome. Maybe that is because I have only really engaged in bareback sex with the types of dudes who don’t fear HPV and whose diseases I don’t particularly fear, because the worst thing I can think of about most of them is the ensuing lifetime of awkward conversations…”

In other words, sex with condoms sucks, the worst that could happen to me if I go without condoms with a dude is maybe I could get pregnant or get HPV or “diseases I don’t particularly fear” and of having those diseases, the worst part is having awkward conversations with future sex partners. There is so much that is ridiculous about that statement, but I’m not in the business of ripping people apart for their personal sexual choices.

People are strange when it comes to condoms. Most people don’t like them much, but they continue to use them because they do their job. But if you’re a woman and you want to enjoy sex, you might want to use condoms and take birth control. According to data from The Kinsey Institute, women who use both hormonal contraception and condoms report higher overall sexual satisfaction. Now, “sexual satisfaction” doesn’t been “sexual enjoyment.” Satisfaction goes beyond the immediate act and includes things like sexual self-esteem and relationship satisfaction. So, while this study seems earth-shattering—Use condoms and hormonal contraceptives and enjoy sex more!—it’s probably not.

We don’t know anyone who uses female condoms, and unlike the ones made for men, you don’t often see commercials advertising their benefits. However, this may soon change. A new, potentially less-expensive version of the female condom will be considered by a Food and Drug Administration advisory panel this week. The panel of health experts will weigh in on whether the FC2 Female Condom adequately prevents pregnancy, HIV, and other STDs. While the new condom is similar to the one on the market right now, it’s made from a new synthetic rubber material called nitrile, as opposed to polyurethane.

Male condoms generally cost consumers between 50 cents and $2 a piece, while female condoms cost between $2.80 and $4 each. If the cheaper female version is approved, will you use it? Tell us in the comments… [Reuters]

2006 was a year of unprotected sex for me. No, not every time, but I started off the year with a fling with a slightly older man I was besotted with, who didn’t speak a word about condoms, and, in response, I didn’t either. I wanted to trust that he had some magical knowledge that somehow I was missing, that maybe the world had overturned itself and they were no longer necessary. I was wrong, and after a pregnancy panic as I searched for Plan B—this was right before it was so readily available—I escaped unscathed. Then later that year I met a guy I fell absolutely head over heels with, sure that we were destined to be together.

Beauty brand NARS is raising safe sex awareness with two new cosmetic kits that come in handy when it comes to sex. The “Safer Set” includes two NARS condoms imprinted with “PREVENTION IS THE CURE” and a popular cream stick face highlighter in Multiple in Orgasm color. The “Safest Set” includes the same highlighter and a small black book promoting abstinence that gives you a list of ways you can just say no to the boys. A portion of the sales from both products go to amFAR’s global safe sex education initiative, so whether or not you’re doing it, you’ll be looking good and doing good. NARS has a long history of uniting sex and cosmetics. Lip colors come in Promiscuous, Manhunt, and Orgasm.

“I was on tour with my dad and at every single one of his shows, they hand out condoms. I was about seven or eight and I picked up a packet and was like, “Mum, what’s this?” —Kelly Osbourne [The Mail on Sunday]

Condoms. So important—yet so not stylish. Until now! For years, condoms haven’t exactly been the next Birkin bag. Instead, condoms are what you peruse in the drugstore aisle late at night, and the big decision is whether to get Trojans or Durex. Recently, though, as safe sex has become the golden rule, fashion designers, hip artists, and condom manufacturers have begun offering up a bevy of stylish choices when it comes to rubbers. Is there really a Marc Jacobs condom? Found out that and more after the jump.

We scored a nice little quote in Page Six Magazine‘s story on “Generation Unsafe Sex”, but some of the other people interviewed left us with the question above. A half dozen or so NYC singles, as well as a Jezebel blogger and a sex educator, were interviewed about the topic of safe sex (and the fact that more and more people are not having it)—this quote, in particular, stuck out:

“Once STDs and death seemed synonymous. Today, the accepted reality is that the STDs one is likely to contract through unprotected sex are more mundane, which is underscored by the fact that so many of them are cured using the same antibiotics you’d use for a sinus infection.”