“And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me ... Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say ... It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f**kin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f**k you, I would start selling all my s**t just to keep f**king you’?”

—John Mayer continues to kiss and tell in the March issue of Playboy. He didn’t share any sexual details about Jennifer Aniston, though. Does that mean she sucked in bed or does he have more respect for her? [Us Weekly]

• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush did get engaged over Super Bowl weekend. [Oh No They Didn’t]
• Starpulse opens a whole can of worms with its list of “fake celebrity couples.” [Starpulse]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz are ready to increase their brood. [OK!]

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are suing a British tabloid for reporting that they’d split up. [Us Weekly]
• Did Reggie Bush feel upstaged by Kim Kardashian after the Super Bowl? [Media Takeout]
• Taylor Swift says she wants a “tall and funny” boyfriend after breaking up with Taylor Lautner. [Starpulse]

So this video surfaced over the weekend just in time for the Super Bowl, and in it a woman named Carmen Ortega is giving a “Cribs”-style tour of Reggie Bush‘s home in California. Carmen, who is a “model” and alleged professional escort, has said the she was the catalyst that broke up him and Kim Kardashian. (Kim and Reg are back together and potentially on the way to getting engaged.) She and her friend behind the camera made this video after having an alleged threesome with Reggie. There are eight things I learned from watching this quick video. Find them out after the jump.

• Carrie Prejean is getting “opposite married” to quarterback Kyle Boller from the St. Louis Rams. [PopEater]
• Gerard Butler is joining Jennifer Aniston in Mexico for her 41st birthday celebration. Um, yeah, these two are hooking up. Good for Jen! [Starpulse]
• So maybe they haven’t broken up ... Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt took Maddox to the Super Bowl. [Us Weekly]

Even though the love is gone for Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, the passion is still pretty fiery. The ladies got in a brawl on Wednesday night at Crown Bar. According to a witness, LiLo was trying to make SamRo jealous by getting wasted and grinding on some ladies, so Samantha said, “Why don’t you just have another drink? You’re a disgrace.” That, obvs, made Lindsay throw a drink in Sam’s face. Then Sam allegedly threw some DJ equipment at Lindsay. A huge mess ensued. [RadarOnline.com]

It’s scary when fights turn physical and it’s not always the gents who raise a fist. Here are a few other celebrity couples who, um, can’t keep their hands off of each other, in a bad way.

• Simon Monjack says Brittany Murphy didn’t seem that sick before dying of pneumonia. [People]
• Charlie Sheen will be charged with misdemeanor assault and felony menacing ahead of a court hearing on Monday. [Starpulse]
• Keyshia Cole reportedly went into labor last night. [The Young, Black & Fabulous]

• Tiger Woods is reportedly leaving sex rehab this week and has plans to spend a few days away with Elin Nordegren. [PopEater]
• Adam Lambert says he enjoys making out with girls too and is curious about having sex with one. [Starpulse]
• Brandy and rapper Flo Rida seem to be dating. [The Young, Black & Fabulous]

• Score! Usher and Chilli were caught on a date. [Media Takeout]
• John Mayer has revealed that he texts adult material to the women in his life. [OK!]
• New mom Ellen Pompeo revealed to the TV world a photo of baby Stella Luna. [People]

• Jesus Luz has reportedly called off his relationship with Madonna, citing their age differences and busy schedules. [Starpulse]
• Carrie Underwood says she doesn’t care about all the details of her wedding to Mike Fisher and only wants to have a good time. [People]
• Jesse James’ ex, porn star Janine Lindemulder, has been denied visitation rights to see their daughter. [PopEater]

• Kristen Bell and boyfriend Dax Shepard are engaged and have been since the holidays. [PopEater]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long might be engaged if Drew’s new Facebook relationship status is any indication. [Dlisted]
• Katy Perry says the internet ruined Russell Brand‘s proposal because she knew he was going to ask her. [Starpulse]

• “The Bachelor” Jason Mesnick (aka Papa Bach) and Molly Malaney will tie the knot on-air March 8. [People]
• Rihanna says she’s going to the Grammys alone and is still denying her relationship with Matt Kemp. [Us Weekly]
• Jay-Z‘s reported bachelor pad had a little girl’s room in it. Does this mean Jay has another alleged secret child? [Media Takeout]

• Friends of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt claim the rumors of a split were caused by the couple seeking to cement their relationship with a pre-nup agreement. [Starpulse]
• Brittany Murphy‘s husband, Simon Monjack, says he has plans to file a wrongful death suit against Warner Bros. for firing the late star from the “Happy Feet” sequel. [PopEater]
• The government owes Britney Spears and Kevin Federline $50,000 from when they were married. Who will step forward to claim the money? [TMZ]

• James McAvoy and his wife, Anne-Marie Duff, are expecting their first child. [People]
• ”Glee” star Jane Lynch and her girlfriend are reportedly engaged. [MSNBC]
• Elin Nordegren has reportedly called off her divorce plans after visiting Tiger Woods in sex addiction rehab. [Starpulse]

• Tila Tequila is willing to confirm she’s pregnant—for a price. [TMZ]
• Chelsea Handler and her boss, Ted Harbert, have called it quits. [Defamer]

• Gerard Butler continues to kiss up a storm—this time it wasn’t Jennifer Aniston. [Dlisted]
• Most celebrity comic books are poorly written cash grabs. Here are the 11 worst culprits.[Maxim]
• Burger King will open its first beer-selling, real restaurant. [F-Listed]

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt haven’t broken up, despite numerous reports to the contrary. [Starpulse]
• Sienna Miller is selling her London house so she can move in with former fiancé Jude Law. [Daily Mail]
• Prince Harry has moved into girlfriend Chelsy Davy’s apartment, but only for the weekends. [Telegraph.co.uk]

• Blake Fielder-Civil is allegedly dating a teenage pre-op transsexual who is also an Amy Winehouse impersonator. [Starpulse]
• Rihanna‘s new beau, Matt Kemp, says the restraining order filed by a former lover has nothing to do with physical abuse. [Us Weekly]
• Angelina Jolie isn’t having an affair with her “Salt” dialect coach, says the dialect coach. [OK!]

• Tara Reid has confirmed she’s engaged to businessman Michael Axtmann. [Starpulse]
• Courtenay Semel has revealed that she and Casey Johnson had a get-rich-quick scheme to release a sex tape. [E! Online]
• Madonna allegedly wants to have a baby for Jesus Luz and is consulting doctors to make it possible. [The Superficial]