Anne Hathaway and her boyfriend of four years, Rafaello Follieri, split last week, and now he’s stuck behind bars until he raises $21 million in bail. This sucks, but what’s even worse is that he and Anne have a dog together, a chocolate lab named Esmeralda. Maybe this is a ploy to get Rafaello and his family some sympathy, but the New York Post reported that while Anne has been traveling around the world to promote Get Smart, the dog has been staying in Rafaello’s Trump Tower penthouse, and his mom, who came to New York from Italy for cancer treatment, is taking care of Esmeralda. A friend of Rafaello’s told the paper that Anne should come get her dog: “He can’t afford a dog walker and his mom has cancer.” Anne, please let me know if you want me to dog sit until you’re back in town. [NY Post]

Liv Tyler is going through a breakup and has a new shorter ‘do. Ditto for Anne Hathaway. We always thought that theory was B.S., but guess not. [Mr. Chow restaurant, Beverly Hills, 6/18/08]

After a bad break-up, I hid in my room for a while listening to Beck’s sad Sea Change, clutching my childhood stuffed animal, Muffin, wondering what I did wrong.  But after the obligatory period of self-pity, I was ready to move into phase two: the drunken rebound. My newfound freedom had me wanting some free love! So I rounded up my lady friends, put on my please f*** me pumps, and went out just to get back out there.

A man reportedly broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home and stole the sex toys he had bought for her birthday present when they were together. After making off with the lingerie, gauntlets, shackles, and whip, Paul Ashcroft is said to have sent Claire Bainbridge a text message telling her to check her drawers. She discovered that the items were missing, and two days later they were recovered in Ashcroft’s residence. The judge sentenced him to a two-year conditional discharge, in addition to paying court costs. “This was pretty disgraceful behavior,” the judge said. “There is no excuse for doing what you did in stealing those items. I trust that the relationship has now come to an end. I have been told…each of you now has a fresh relationship. I suggest you concentrate on that.” [News Guardian, U.K.]

Chace Crawford and Carrie Underwood were dating, until he realized he was gay (allegedly!!!) and dumped her via text message. How rude! Which got us thinking—have you ever been dumped or dumped someone via text message? Or have you maybe pulled some other shameless dating no-no using the power of SMS? If so, we’d love for you to head on over to our Twitter page, start following us (c’mon, it’s worth it!), and twitter us the dirty details of your nefarious text experience. Got that? [The Frisky on Twitter]

Don’t cry over a breakup letter, cry into one [handkerchief, $21 at Atypyk via Better Living Through Design]

Women can be a little crazy after a breakup—hello, Heather Mills! But men have the ability to go equally nuts. An Australia man is auctioning off his life on eBay—house, car, job, clothes, and friends—because he wants to start over. He says that his ex-wife heard about his idea: “Her last comment was, ‘It seems a bit mental to me.’” The auction starts June 22. [Reuters and A Life 4 Sale]

Sure, a lot of guys claim their ex-girlfriends are crazy, but in this case, the guy isn’t “ex”-aggerating.  April Wormly, 36, was too much of a wuss to drop the breakup bomb on her boyfriend face-to-face (or even via Wikipedia). So when he headed to the airport in San Antonio to depart on a trip, Wormly called in not one, not two, but a whopping 36 fake terrorist threats on his flight. Needless to say, with understandably uptight Homeland Security officers searching babies and throwing out water bottles, they took the phone calls seriously and evacuated the 120 passengers on the Southwest flight.  Wormly hoped that when her man found out she had made all the calls, he would do the dirty work and dump her.  But in court this week, the real bomb got dropped on Wormly, who certainly was broken up when she was sentenced to two years in prison and a $19,761 fine for her idiotic scheme. [MSNBC via Fark]

It took a few years, but manly ingenuity has finally found a worse way to break up with someone than on a post-it note.  Wikipedia creator Jimmy Wales dumped his girlfriend, Fox News commentator Rachel Marsden, through a post on his own website. The recently divorced website mogul took notice of the cute Canadian conservative because her Wikipedia page was splashed with haterade. When Marsden asked for some help editing the site, Wales offered to get her out of one sticky situation and into another via IM.  The best part is, just like the breakup, you can read what they typed with one hand online thanks to his competitors at Google, whose sites’ features allowed her to save their Gchat convos.  When Wales threatened to have her deported after the split, Ms. Marsden, who has a history of harassing ex-boyfriends, decided to retaliate by emailing the IMs around to the press and using eBay to sell the personal items he left behind at her apartment. One of his t-shirts with a big “white stain” is going for over $12,000. Um, why?

I’ve decided that Facebook and MySpace are dangerous for couples. Here are some examples of what I mean:

1. My fiance and I are both on Facebook, but were not “friends” until recently because, as he said, “I hate Facebook. I only am on it for work networking reasons.” Which explains why, I guess, he didn’t accept my friend request for six months. And then I had to badger him into accepting our engagement status online.

Dennis Quaid once said, “When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It’s like death.” I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but breakups generally suck. So, if you’re mourning the loss of a relationship, visit Relationship Obituary and write a memorial to what was. [Relationship Obituary]