Stare Your Future Down
Today, you’re going to have a seat on a park bench, or look around at lunchtime, or keep your eyes open while you’re out shopping. Notice other women—young and old, black and white, and all of those other polarities. Check out how each woman dresses, and how she carries herself. Notice details, like the way she smiles or walks or talks to a cashier. Pick out an older woman, one who looks like you in maybe 10 or 20 years. Think about what her apartment might look like, who her friends are, where she likes to go on vacation, whether she has any pets, and what books are on her shelf. Imagine her life. It seems pretty full all of a sudden, right? Whatever you choose to do as a single person in these next few days or weeks or months will make up the person you are later in life. Take a second to appreciate your freedom from that guy and how fun it’s going to be to fill up your life, like she has hers.

Get Your Hair Did
You’ve had an appropriate post-breakup mourning period, so chances are you’re not going to do something outrageous, like try the Natalie Portman pixie cut that only Natalie Portman can pull off. That said, dip your toe into the crazy. Page through some mags to get ideas for what you want to do to your hair. Always wanted a red tint? Do it. Thought about bangs and a bob? The time is now. (If you’re short on cash, get a good blowout.) Another idea: Check out the weekly tabloid magazines and find a picture of an actress who seems to have it together (Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet are good choices). Borrow from her look as an homage to coming out better at the end of this.

Give Blood
If there has ever been a chance for you to act both badass and selfless, this is it. If you’re healthy enough to give blood, be happy for that alone, and then go save a life. Eat and drink plenty afterward so you don’t pass out. If you’re not so good with the needles, throw a bunch of canned goods and/or old clothes (that scarf your ex gave you, maybe?) into the back of your car and haul it all down to your local food pantry and/or Salvation Army. Sadly, lots of people have it worse than you. You already knew that, but this is a tiny reminder.

Have A No-Chick-Flick Night
The terms “Julia Roberts,” “meet cute,” and “wedding” are hereby banned from your home starting right…now. You might feel tempted to watch “Clueless” or a similar favorite for the billionth time (you have Paul Rudd’s declaration-of-love speech memorized), but you will not. You will rent movies in which the heroine is a strange, or strong, or talented, or an ass-kicker. Because, let’s face it: Kate Hudson is a bit milquetoast, and Hugh Grant is kind of a jerk. Here’s a list to get you started:

• ”What’s Love Got to Do With It?” starring Angela Bassett
• ”Million Dollar Baby” starring Hillary Swank
• ”Jackie Brown” starring Pam Grier

Call Your Dad
If your dad’s not around, contact a favorite uncle or a mentor you looked up to during college or your first job. E-mail is okay if you’d rather keep it casual. Just say hi or give him an update on how you’re doing. Do not mention your breakup. Mention recent work coups or a trip you’re planning, and then ask him what they’ve been up to. You need a solid reminder that (many, if not most) men are genuine, and those you hold dear are invested in your well-being. Your ex wasn’t. But that’s starting to be okay.

Cook Something
Daunting, I know, but this is doable. If you have never so much as boiled an egg, you will do it today. If you want to kick it up a notch, try this: Either dust off your old copy of The Joy of Cooking, or hit up FoodNetwork.com for a quick recipe that sounds good to you. You’re not going to have a panic attack that “he” won’t like it, and you won’t have to cook around his finicky food preferences. Stop by Whole Foods, come back with the ingredients, and cook at a leisurely pace. Having Billie Holiday tunes coming from your speakers helps the process.

While many fear that America is falling out of the marriage habit, and that, these days, all is bad in love and more, new stats show otherwise. Supposedly, 86% of women marry by age forty. This says something, considering that a 20-year-old article in Newsweek declared that “a 40-year-old single woman had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married.” Ouch.

Fix Something
One of the most satisfying things a woman can do is fix something. It doesn’t take long, but the payoff is huge. You don’t have to build an armoire; just make something that you own work better than it used to. If you have a squeaky front door, buy a can of the wonder product that is WD-40 (over 2,000 uses!) and follow the directions on the packaging. Or finally nail that framed print to your wall, like you’ve been talking about doing since 2006.

Having a fix-it guide is a good idea for anyone. The Home Depot and Black & Decker both have solid home repair books out now. You need a man to do what around the house now? Exactly.

Sign Up For A Class
Even if the last time you were in an extracurricular class was when you were six years old and clutching the barre at Miss Lillycrumpet’s School of Ballet, you will sign up for something today. Feel like knocking someone out? Boxing lessons. Crave solitude? Sewing (you don’t even have to have your own machine). You’re not doing this as a step in a silly self-help book. You’re doing this to fill up some time, meet some people who are not your idiot ex, and maybe, possibly, find a hobby you like. Even if you never pick up another guitar (or camera, or French textbook) for as long as you live, you will have put yourself out there—even if failure is possible, if not probable. That shows some serious strength and character, lady. Enjoy that feeling.

Plan A Lady Party
Check your calendar and pick a date three weeks to a month from now, because you’re in no shape to do large-scale entertaining. Yet. What you can do, though, is plan a small party on that day for a few female friends. Sit down and plan what drinks you’ll serve (red wine or cocktails?), what food will go best (cheese plate or focaccia?), and what music you’ll play. Go ahead and make the mix CD, but there’s a catch: You can only use women artists. Select songs from your Bjork collection, dust off the Tori Amos tracks your insensitive ex made fun of, and, sure, throw in some Alanis, because we all know “Jagged Little Pill” stands the test of time. You now have a bachelorette pad. Is that cool or what?

Talk to A Little Girl
If you babysit, or have a niece or a friend who has a daughter—or you have a daughter yourself—this will be easy. Chat with the little lady over the phone or in person. Ask her what she did today or what she learned in school. If you don’t know any rugrats, try waving or saying hi to a little girl on the bus. That will be enough.

Now remember how it felt to be that free? Men weren’t part of the equation then. You ruled at math, practiced your cursive writing, and jumped rope 10 times in a row. You might have thought you could be a race car driver or an Olympic swimmer or a nurse. There were no real life rules—you just had to be in bed by 9 p.m. every night. Now don’t let your inner little girl down. Even if your workplace makes Dunder-Mifflin look sane, go to your job, be productive today, come home proud of yourself, and then go play somewhere other than your living room before dusk. Get your coffee-and-magazine fix at Borders, go jogging, or check out that pizza place you’ve walked by a billion times. The best part: No boys allowed.

A columnist for the Examiner examined this week the meaning of infidelity. “The definition of infidelity in the dictionary,” she writes “is: ‘marital unfaithfulness or an instant of it.’”  While I think most of us would agree that a couple needn’t be married to be unfaithful, how exactly do we define unfaithfulness? Is it, as the columnist suggests, “a broken promise”? “If you promise to someone that you will not sleep with someone else and then do so anyway,” she writes, “I believe that constitutes as infidelity.” But what if the promise is never articulated? What if it’s just assumed? And is it only sleeping with someone else that constitutes infidelity? What about kissing? Or cyber-flirting? Or having an “emotional affair” that’s never physically consummated? How do you define cheating? And, most importantly, does your significant other share your definition? [via Examiner]

Write A Letter to Your Best Friend
Forget e-anything. On actual paper with an actual pen, write a letter to your best friend. Include the nice things you tend to think about her character, thank her for helping you through this stupid breakup thus far, and talk about how much she means to you. Buy an actual stamp, and put the addressed envelope into an actual mailbox. You’ll be bawling into five separate Kleenexes by the end of this exercise, but you’ll also have a handle on the ingredients for the glue that holds a good relationship together. Gentleness. Trust. Unconditional love. Honesty. Forgiveness. You know now that he wasn’t equipped with the things you need. Why expect less out of your lover than you do a best friend? Sit with that thought for a moment.

Wear Something Pink
You don’t have to join a sorority; you just have to embrace your gender stereotype for today only. If you’ve hated pink since the day you were born and would sooner wear a nylon ’80s track suit than anything remotely frilly, you’re still doing this. Try buying a product whose proceeds go to breast cancer awareness. Or, pick up something easy like sleepwear or a pink-covered journal—or a whole freaking laptop if you’re feeling bold. The point is to look at it often and remember your feminine side, and that we women are all in this together.

Start a “Go to Hell” Fund
A “go to hell” fund (as often referenced in the personal finance blogosphere) is a nice nest egg of quick cash that’s at your disposal in case you want to, for example, quit a job you hate, get out of a terrible roommate situation, or relocate due to a relationship gone bad (ahem). It’s also known as a “freedom fund”—freedom to leave a situation if you need to or escape anyone who’s screwing you over. Having four to six months’ worth of living expenses at your disposal is ideal.

Don’t freak if you don’t have that kind of cash yet. You can start a savings account with only one dollar at a reputable online bank such as EmigrantDirect.com or INGDirect.com. Right now, those banks are paying 3 percent interest, which is awesome compared to what most banks offer. It takes about five minutes to sign up for one of these accounts online. An easy way to start saving is to have a little bit of money—whatever you can afford—from each paycheck deposited directly into the online account. Now, don’t touch it! This money is for emergencies only, not impromptu vacations, expensive dinners, or especially gorgeous pairs of shoes.

Warning: As your account grows, you might suddenly want to bust out with “Independent Women I,” Beyonce-style.

Sometimes, I read an advice column and learn something that will help me avoid doing something regrettable. When I read a Social Q’s question and answer that will appear in this Sunday’s paper, I wondered how a person could be so stupid. J.S. in Brooklyn, NY, bought a woman he had been dating for two years a $16,000 engagement ring after she sent him a photo of the ring and threatened to end their relationship if he didn’t give it to her. After he had the ring made, she told him she was committed to another man. We’re not really sure what went down, but it seems a little strange for two people to be together for years and one of them to be “committed” to someone else. Anyway, J.S. wants to know whether, since jewelers tell him the ring has limited value since it was custom made, his ex-fiancée should share in the financial loss.

Dude should have seen the problems coming and never bought her the ring in the first place. In his letter to Social Q’s, he admits that this ex-fiancée disapproved of the mediation he and his ex-wife used for their divorce.

Change Your Perspective
Find a museum in your city or town, and check to see if they have any current exhibits featuring female artists. If so, hop in your car and go—no matter how badly you want to continue watching “America’s Next Top Model” reruns and eating the rest of that bag of Bugles. Women’s perceptions of the world are distinctly different from the mainstream. Photographers Catherine Opie and Cindy Sherman have challenged the idea of traditional domesticity. Jill-of-all-trades artist Sophie Calle has been known to look at intimacy in a way that’s completely thrilling and totally weird: For her 2007 piece “Take Care of Yourself,” she took a breakup e-mail from her lover and had 107 different women (a proofreader, a clown, a lawyer, etc.) interpret it via performance, video, writing, you name it. She even went to an appointment with a marriage counselor and put a printout of the breakup letter in the other chair. Yes, really.

Read A Book You Loved
Figure out where your closest public library is. Go there and get a library card if you don’t have one already. Remember wandering the stacks in grade school? Chances are you read something as a little girl that jump-started your imagination or inspired you to do something silly. Today, you’re going to find that book that you enjoyed so much (a Nancy Drew mystery, one of The Baby-Sitters Club books, anything Judy Blume, etc.) and read it all over again, as a grown woman. Remind yourself of everything that you can learn in the span of 10 (or 20, or 30) years, ‘cause, girl, you ain’t done yet. Far from it.

Buy A Dress
It doesn’t matter if you’ve lost a few pounds in saltwater from crying this week or gained five thanks to your newfound Caramel Frappuccino habit. You’re hauling it to the nearest H&M or Express—or subscribing to a great clothing website like Shop It To Me—and buying the brightest frock you can find. Your new “look at me!” outfit is a not-so-subtle reminder to you and everyone walking down the street that you’re a chick that any dude would be lucky to lay his eyes on, let alone kiss.