Think you know everything there is to know about that ex you’ve obsessed over? Well, authors Heather Belle and Michelle Fiordaliso want you to know that there is so, so much more. (Curses!) The two psychotherapists have both “professional and personal experience with exes.” Some of us could use some pro insight on factors like how to be friends with an ex, whether you should get back together, why you really shouldn’t and, say, moving on. Their new book Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Ex tackles all of this. Anything that helps us step away from the dramz is probably a good thing, right? Read it when you’re contemplating a drunk dial. [Amazon]

Ellen von Unwerth is one of only a few women in the fashion photography world. In a field largely dominated by males, von Unwerth’s often-dream-like photos have appeared in magazines like Vanity Fair, Interview, and Vogue, along with ad campaigns for major brands, including Chanel, Banana Republic, and Victoria’s Secret. In a very expensive book ($700!?!) called Fräulein, to be released in December, the Bavarian photographer celebrates sexy female icons of the modern era.

In an article in The Sunday Times, Katie Roiphe writes that the women (from Claudia Schiffer and Milla Jovovich to Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears) in von Unwerth’s book are sexy because they seem to be enjoying themselves, “though they might be even happier if another person were there.” They look good because they’re self-confident—and not the least bit clingy. Could part of the reason for the heightened sexiness be that the photographer is also a woman?

Love is a nightmare. This we know. I’m so tired of those stupid chick lit books where everyone ends up safe, happy, and in love at the end. That’s why I’m so excited that the new romance/horror mash-up from the genius behind Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is now on bookstore shelves! In Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, Ben H. Winters expands on the Jane Austen classic with all-new scenes of giant lobsters, octopi, two-headed sea serpents, and other sub-human monstrosities. Now that’s my kind of love story! Bloody, gory, awkward, and odd—kind of like it is in real life. When the Dashwood sisters are forced to leave their childhood home and sent to live on a mysterious island, they will either drown or stay afloat. While sensible Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, romantic Marianne is forced to choose between two suitors—handsome Willoughby and half-man/half-monster Colonel Brandon. That’s a no-brainer—go for the monster dude, of course! See a video preview for the book after the jump.

Everyone went gaga over the release of The Sartorialist‘s book when it hit shelves last month, but how did the people featured in blogs and books like Scott Schuman’s become so stylish in the first place? Out today, Amanda Brooks’ book I Love Your Style: How to Define and Refine Your Personal Style breaks down the elements of style so you can develop your own.

Stand-up comedian and author Aaron Karo rose to fame as a college freshman at the University of Pennsylvania, where he began writing down what he called “Ruminations,” small observations about the universal truths of college: the dorm rooms, the friends, the food, the classes, the beer pong ... and the women. (A sample “rumination” from September 2000: “You know what a great moment in college life is? Those two seconds. The two seconds when you first wake up at 3 p.m. after a hard night of partying. Because in those first two seconds you haven’t yet remembered that last night you threw up on your floor, punched a cop, and hooked up with an ugly chick. Savor those two seconds as best you can.”) One email to his close friends was forwarded to their friends, and to their friends. What started as a funny late-night email grew to an email newsletter, which grew to a stand-up comedy career, which grew to three published books.

Despite the fact that Stephenie Meyer‘s books are public service announcements for saving yourself ‘til marriage, some elementary and middle schools in Australia are banning the Twilight series books for being too racy. Man, I don’t know what Twilight books these peeps were reading, but the one I read was 544 pages of agonizing blue balls. Though, in a roundabout way, fretful grownups could be doing these kids a favor, as one school librarian told Australia’s Daily Telegraph about the censorship, “We wanted to make sure [the students] realize it’s fictitious and ensure they don’t have a wrong grasp on reality.” Good point. In reality, Bella would’ve ripped the clothes off a hottie like Edward and boned that vampire ass, stat.

Food is an essential for life, of course, but it’s also a vital component of relationships. Without food, what would we do on dates? There would be no candlelit dinners, and no romantic champagne and strawberries or other supposedly aphrodisiac combos. In her new book The Gastronomy of Marriage, Michelle Maisto explores what happens in the food department after the dating stage is over, recounting the year before she and her fiancé, Rich, got married, and what they ate.

Both Michelle and Rich love a delicious meal, and they initially shared cooking duties when they moved in together; neither wanted to live according to dated rules dictating gender roles. But as Rich worked more to earn money for the wedding, Michelle volunteered to do his share, creating a more traditional division of work at home. So, did they go back to co-chefs after they got married? And how can a vegetarian and a meat-eater dine in harmony? We spoke with Michelle via email about food and marriage.

I just don’t know what to make of this new book, Why Women Have Sex, which claims to reveal the “real” reasons we ladyfolk do the horizontal polka. Authors Cindy Meston and David Buss interviewed 1,000 women and found some pretty shocking things. They say that 84 percent of the women surveyed claim to have sex just to “keep the peace.” Some other gems of reasons from the book include: “So he’ll take the trash out”; “To cure a headache”; “To relieve boredom”; “For presents”; and “Out of pity.” Even worse? (Cover your eyes, guys.) The book says, “Research has shown most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all.”

What the #%&$? Excuse me. Hold on, please! Who were the 1,000 women interviewed for this book? These findings are total malarkey. Men of the world, I find you sexually attractive ... I swear. And rest assured that I am not sleeping with you so you will take out my trash! Yes, there are many types of sex. But call me old-fashioned—I have sex (the majority of the time) because it feels f**king amazing and I want to connect with my partner. I am not at all satisfied with these findings, so I’m conducting a little research of my own. After the jump, some other better reasons why women have sex. Ladies out there in Friskyland, please add to the list so I have enough data to write a better book than this one! [News.com]

In “bonnet books,” as Amish romances are called, the author’s idea of a sexual climax is typically a few (sinful!) kisses spread throughout 300 pages. Sounds hawt, huh? But Amish romances, such as ones by Beverly Lewis, Wanda Brunstetter, and Cindy Woodsmall, are selling by the millions. Says Barnes & Nobel book buyer, Jane Love, “It’s almost like you put a person with a bonnet or an Amish field in the background and it automatically starts to sell well!” [WSJ]

Yet “bonnet books” surely have more readers than just God-fearing folks who churn their own butter. (I’ve seen the books on the Borders’ shelves shopped by my fellow Connecticut suburbanites and, trust me, those people are pretty depraved.) I guess temptation, forbidden love and scandal—whether with vampires, NASCAR drivers, or the Amish—appeal to everybody!

After the jump, a few sexy, saucy bits from Amish romance novels that’ll have your bonnet all tied up.

A new book on hair, Hair’em Scare’em, showcases the hair on your head as a medium for artistic expression. While you may still be struggling with that updo, some artists are taking locks to a whole new creative level in photography, design, and illustration. It’s avant-garde art in which hair happens to be the material, from sculpture to jewelry to mustaches. For those fascinated by all things hirsute, a few sample pages after the jump. [Notcouture]

Do books with titles like How To Be Like Audrey Hepburn! or Live Like Marilyn Monroe! make you wanna ralph? Yeah, me, too. I’m never going to be like Audrey Hepburn, either. Janet Street-Porter is the advice guru for me and you. She’s a sixty-something, unmarried, world-traveled, and self-made British journalist who has penned an anti-advice advice book full of wisdom like “Life’s too f***ing short to spend $200 on face cream” or “Life’s too f***ing short to try to be a size zero.” Street-Porter says quick fixes like fad diets, wrinkle cream and spa vacations never deliver what they promise. Instead she encourages something akin to radical self-acceptance. Full of cussing and unconventional wisdom, Life’s Too F***ing Short is a less gentle advice book than the norm, to be sure. But I’ll take an older, wiser aunt with a dirty mouth over an unoriginal, Audrey Hepburn wannabe any day. [$10.85, Amazon.com]

• Filled with photos of trendsetters from Jackie O to Chloe Sevigny, we can’t wait for the book I Love Your Style to hit shelves Sept. 15. [Fashionista]—After all, we need a little inspiration for our own outfits.
• Dancers at an Australian fashion lunch performed in what are practically exact replicas of a black see-through ensemble worn by Right Said Fred. [Stylist]—We know the ‘90s are having a moment right now, but this?!
• AnOther Magazine is doing an aughts fashion retrospective. Check out the sneak preview… [Style.com]—Um, wonder when all those crazy T-shirts from ‘01 will come back? What a year.
• Model/it girl Daisy Lowe is doing a line of jewelry for Swarovski, to be released in January, that relates to the stars, moon, and planetary movements. [W Editors’ Blog]—Will there be waxing gibbous earrings?

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