Nothing has made us giggle as hard this morning as this “Colbert Report” clip about 17-year-old Freesia Jackson, who was nailed by her school officials for possession of a controlled substance: her birth control pills. Popping a baby-blocker in the cafeteria earned this little trollop a two-week suspension from school.

It’s about time guys starting taking part in the whole circle-of-life thing. I mean, it’s us girls who have to deal with getting our periods, taking birth control, getting pregnant, having a baby, and just generally being super awesome. Oh wait, that last one isn’t part of reproduction. Well, anyway, men may soon be able to ease our burden, because scientists are one step closer to unlocking the secret of male contraception. They’ve identified the gene mutation that prevents dudes from being able to make babies. Guys who are infertile have sperm that aren’t good swimmers. And, if a dude doesn’t have the Michael Phelps of man fluid, well, those little guys just aren’t going to make it to the egg. The good news is—this discovery could help scientists develop birth control for men. If they could just figure out how to replicate this mutation in fertile men and make sure it’s reversible, us ladies could stop taking those little pills every day. [Women’s Health]

Authors of a new paper in Contraception magazine say that the withdrawal method is as effective as condoms when it comes to pregnancy prevention. They say “typical use” of the withdrawal method results in pregnancy 18 percent of the time, versus 17 percent for typical use of condoms. The lead author, Rachel K. Jones, told the New York Times that she and her colleagues wanted to publish the paper because the pullout method was being dismissed, and some people had the impression that it was akin to not using contraception at all. She added that it seemed logical to compare the withdrawal method with condoms because health care professionals advocate condom use, even though that method also has flaws. Now, however, some educators and physicians fear that putting out this new message will cause teenagers to abandon condoms altogether. They also point out that unlike condoms, the withdrawal method can’t prevent sexually transmitted diseases and infections. The pullout method is less problematic in marriages and other monogamous, long-term relationships, but what happens when a young man gets it wrong or doesn’t withdraw when he said he would? Can horny teen boys really be trusted to pull out?

“16 And Pregnant”: it’s not just an MTV reality show, it’s also America’s scary reality! A Centers for Disease Control report just came out which discovered teen pregnancy increased in recent years. Teen birth rates rose during 2006 and 2007, after having decreased from 1991 to 2005.

More scary news is the number of AIDS cases in young men. CDC data shows that between 1997 and 2006, the number of men ages 15 to 24 with AIDS increased, as well. [ABC News]

A controversial group called Project Prevention in Knoxville, Tennessee is paying drug addicts and alcoholics not to get pregnant. The group is traveling across the United States this summer in an RV, offering addicts $300 to be sterilized, or $300 per year each year they go on long-term birth control. [WATE.com]

“I was just saying about birth control, because I got very scared about it the other day and I felt like God was telling me that this was something just created by the government that is really bad for my body and I was just getting sick…. I researched it, and one of the founding people who invented birth control said it was the worst thing they had ever done, they wished they’d never created it, how it morally corrupted society, it’s just sickening to him…. How it devalues women, how it causes depression, how it can cause cancer, how it sterilizes your body, and what it does to your body, how most women are suicidal sometimes on it, and in fact, in order to even stabilize the population right now, each woman would have to have three children…. The population is decreasing so much that population control is just a myth.”

—Heidi Montag, taking time away from her job as a Twitter evangelist, addressing the subject of birth control on “The Alex Jones Show,” a conservative radio talk show. [The Hollywood Gossip]

Last week, Plan B was approved for over-the-counter status in Canada. Canada is now the fifth country to allow women to purchase Plan B without a prescription or a consultation with a pharmacist. In other words, Plan B will be available on Canadian drug-store shelves, no questions asked.

If you thought the blond Orbitz girl cornered the market on bizarre gum marketing, you clearly have not stumbled across the wonderful absurdity that is Miracle Birth Control Gum. I suppose it was only really a matter of time until someone figured out a way to sweeten breath while simultaneously preventing pregnancy. Though the product is specifically targeted for single gals in their 30’s, I doubt a married woman in her 50’s would suffer from any serious medical side effects. The label warns that weight gain may occur after chewing, but chewing burns calories, right? Problem solved. I won’t bother guessing about the potential dire consequences if a dude were to pop one of these mint flavored tablets between his smackers. If a guy is worrying about birth control, he has bigger problems. About eight pounds bigger.

Martina started posting photos of her naked breasts on her blog “Will They Grow?” (obviously NSFW) last week, in order to chart their growth now that she’s on birth control. After the jump, she tells us why and what she hopes to see happen.

Remembering to take birth control pills every day at the same time can be a hassle. Buying condoms adds another thing to our pages-long to-do list. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were an effective birth control and STD-preventative in one? Dr. Brij Saxena, a reproductive biology and endocrinology professor at the Weill Cornell Medical College, has developed a vaginal ring that may prevent sexually transmitted HIV and unintended pregnancy because it releases several types of non-hormonal agents and microbicides. The device has proven to prevent HIV infection in laboratory trials, Saxena said, and it could give women the power to protect themselves effectively and conveniently from an unintended pregnancy and HIV, if future clinical trials are successful.

In an upcoming issue of Contraception, Rachel K. Jones of the Guttmacher Institute makes the case that sex educators should start teaching the withdrawal method as a form of birth control. Jones argues that when practiced properly, the withdrawal method is quite effective at preventing pregnancy, and only four percent of those who use it “perfectly” will get pregnant in the next year. The method, like birth control pills, however, has no proven effect when it comes to preventing the transmission of STDs, although researchers are hoping to study that, too.

There has been a lot of sex-related stuff in the news over the last couple days, which makes complete sense because April is STD Awareness Month, and, you know, the S in STD stands for sexually.

The rich get richer and the poor get babies. Well, not anymore! These tough times aren’t gonna stop hardworking American men, just their sperm. According to CNN, the recession is responsible for a rise in the number of vasectomies and urologists are cashing in by sealing vas deferens!

A new-and-improved female condom has been approved by the FDA. Even though a lot of Frisky commenters aren’t keen on using this form of birth control, it’s one small step for womankind, as this new version is thinner, less noisy (yes, that’s right), and less expensive. Don’t look for the FC2 condom in stores yet, though—it should be available in about a year. [Reuters]

Back in October, the Food and Drug Administration demanded that Bayer Healthcare Pharmaceuticals say goodbye to the claims made in previous Yaz birth control pill commercials. As it turns out, Yaz isn’t approved to cure pimples or PMS, so the FDA and attorneys general from 27 states have required Bayer to correct previous marketing with a new $20 million ad campaign, which we’ve started seeing on TV. “You may have seen some Yaz commercials recently that were not clear,” an actress says in the new corrective commercial. “The FDA wants us to correct a few points in those ads.” Along with clarifying that the contraceptive pill won’t maintain clear skin or treat PMS, the new ads also point out the potential health risks associated with the drug, which were downplayed in previous ads. The whole thing comes across like an embarrassing, “Oops! We messed up big time!” apology from Bayer. We’ll put up the new commercial as soon as we can! [New York Times]

Cosmopolitan’s bread and butter is teaching women how to sex things up, in a billion different ways, which is precisely why we were shocked to read this cover line on their March Issue: “An Orgasm Almost Killed Her!” with the laughable tag, “We Are Not Kidding.” Are they biting the hand that feeds, or has their crack team of journalists finally found a dark side to doing it?

People are strange when it comes to condoms. Most people don’t like them much, but they continue to use them because they do their job. But if you’re a woman and you want to enjoy sex, you might want to use condoms and take birth control. According to data from The Kinsey Institute, women who use both hormonal contraception and condoms report higher overall sexual satisfaction. Now, “sexual satisfaction” doesn’t been “sexual enjoyment.” Satisfaction goes beyond the immediate act and includes things like sexual self-esteem and relationship satisfaction. So, while this study seems earth-shattering—Use condoms and hormonal contraceptives and enjoy sex more!—it’s probably not.

On October 16, 1916, Margaret Sanger opened the nation’s first family planning clinic in Brownsville, Brooklyn. Women waited on line to get information on birth control. Nine days later Sanger was arrested for violating the Comstock obscenity laws, which made it illegal to send any contraceptive devices and birth control information through the mail and banned the distribution of information on abortion for educational purposes. Unfortunately, the clinic was closed, but that didn’t stop the birth control movement. She later opened clinics, known as “Mothers’ Health Centers,” in Manhattan and the Bronx, which later became branches of Planned Parenthood of New York City. The American Medical Association didn’t recognize birth control as an essential health service until 1937, but Sanger had championed the benefits for two decades prior. [Planned Parenthood]