Have I seen too many vaginas, or does this pink-hued escalator in the world’s first ever Barbie flagship store in Shanghai look a hell of a lot like a hooha? I mean, really. The recently completed Barbie-themed Mattel store in Shanghai, China, was designed by Slade Architecture. At a whopping 35,000 square feet, the Barbie palace “holds the world’s largest and most comprehensive collection of Barbie dolls and licensed Barbie products, as well as a range of services and activities for Barbie fans and their families,” in which, per Mattel’s request, “Barbie is hero.” Um, you go, girl? The exterior is minimalist futurist, and the interior is slick pop with its Barbie-embedded walls, spaceship cosmetics counter, and a high-tech area where you can design your own Barbie doll. Still, that escalator is its most striking feature, IMO. What do you think of it: pretty people mover or totes cooter? [ArchDaily]

Oh Kristen Wiig, is there nothing you can’t do? On Saturday’s episode (with musical guest Kelly Clarkson, whose new album drops tomorrow), Barbie dropped by “Weekend Update” to celebrate her 50th birthday with Seth Meyers. She revealed what we’ve always suspected about her on/off boyfriend Ken—that his little penile nubbin isn’t good for much.

Barbie just doesn’t cut it for little girls in Japan, who would rather play with Licca-Chan, a rival doll. So instead, Mattel, Inc. will cater to adult brides when it launches the Barbie Bridal line, a collection of wedding gowns complete with ruffles and bows embroidered with the Barbie logo, only in Japan in June. “Once our apparel brand is established, then we can go back to our core target, kids,” said John Cullen, vice president of Mattel Brands. Offering Barbie-themed wedding dresses seems like a disastrous plan for Mattel to bolster the Barbie brand in Japan, but really, it’s not at all far-fetched. 

Today is Barbie’s OFFICIAL 50th Birthday, after many weeks worth of pre-celebration (she always seemed like a party girl…). There’s always going to be debate over the positive and negative effects that Barbie has on little girls, but I think most women would agree that there is one universal truth when it comes to the doll—Barbie was not nearly as wholesome as Mattel intended for her to be. Sarah Haskins writes about objectifying Barbie in The Washington Post, while Hortense over at Jezebel talks about the decapitation phase she went through with her Barbie, Ken, and Skipper dolls. Personally, I used to strip Barbie, Ken, and friends of their clothes and make them hump in various sexual positions, all the while feeling highly sneaky and naughty. With that in mind, I asked some of our Frisky gals what they did with their Barbies besides dressing them up and playing house…

Barbie just can’t seem to get a break, despite celebrating her 50th birthday this month. A West Virginia lawmaker, Democrat Jeff Eldridge, has proposed the Ban Barbie Bill because he believes dolls like this place too much importance on physical beauty, and not enough on intellectual and emotional development. “I just hate the image that we give to our kids that if you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful and you don’t have to be smart,” said Eldridge. Other dolls that are believed to send this message will also be banned if the bill is passed. Eldridge admits some Barbie dolls, like Doctor Barbie and Veterinary Barbie, are better, but would nevertheless be outlawed in West Virginia also. Forget the fact that Eldridge is perpetuating a sexist double standard—action figures teach little boys that aggression, physical prowess, and weapons trump intellect. If he’s looking to place blame for kids thinking beauty is the be all and end all, maybe he should look at the parents in his own state, where mothers enter their daughters in pageants like the “Toddlers & Tiaras”-featured Southern Celebrity Beauty Pageant in Charleston, West Virginia. These mothers primp, bleach, and tan their daughters, as young as six months, into sashaying and dancing living dolls. That’s got to be more damaging than child play. [MSNBC.com]

Totally Stylin’ Tattoos Barbie hit store shelves recently, and parents aren’t happy. What’s disturbing most parents is the “tattoo gun” that comes with each doll and allows children to put temporary tattoos on Barbie, her clothes, and themselves. “Now she’s teaching our little girls how to apply tramp stamps. Next she’ll have her very own Barbie’s Hot Brothel. Way to go Mattel,” said one parent. So basically, tattoos lead to prostitution? As someone who played with Barbie dolls until I was 13, is an adult collector, and has six-soon-to-be-seven tattoos, I’m rather offended.

• DAMN, why do I not live in France?!?!  Karl Lagerfeld designed fancy little outfits for some Barbie dolls and they’re are on display at the Colette shop in Paris from March 9-28.  Pics (alongside a real-life “Ken” model) above. [Collete]
• And in more Barbie news: a lawmaker in West Virgina is trying to outlaw the Little Miss Wackadoo Body Image with the Barbie Ban Bill.  Okay, I’m the first person to agree giving little kids a blonde, big-boobed, long-legged and smiling doll sends a bad message.  But maybe we should put pressure on Mattel to create a doll which reflects an actual human’s body first. [MSNBC]
• “I don’t drink, but I smell like I do,” says transsexual performance artist, Amanda Lepore, about her new $950 fragrance, Amanda, which includes a note of Cristal champagne. [New York Times]
• We’ll never get sick of models falling! [Refinery 29]

Barbie turned 50 this year, but what does that mean for her sex symbol status?  Well, the blond bombshell is officially a cougar!  And she can work a pole better than Marisa Tomei in “The Wrestler”. Yup, Barbie’s still got it and as this fake commercial explains, it’s mostly thanks to “dream botox” and her kung-fu grip! [World of Wonder]

Your dream of walking through Barbie’s Dream House might actually turn into a reality. As we all know, Barbie is turning 50 this year and to celebrate her birthday, Mattel is planning a big party. And none other than “Top Design” judge and interior designer extraordinaire, Jonathan Adler, is leading the party planning committee. He is giving Barbie’s Malibu Dream House a major makeover. Okay, not Barbie’s Dream House, but an actual Malibu beach house. The beach house is getting redesigned to celebrate Barbie’s big 5-0. Adler is designing a Barbie-worthy bedroom, living room and closet for the beach house that will host the doll’s birthday party on March 9. I’m so jealous. Her closet is going to be insanely big to fit all those clothes. And for the inner child inside of all of us, Adler is launching a collection, “Jonathan Adler Loves Barbie,” this fall. The set will include pottery, pillows, a collectible doll and more, and will be available online and in stores. Even at 50, that bitch lives an amazing life. [Moresay.com]

New York Fashion Week kicked off this morning in the tents at Bryant Park. Inside the venue, there are Barbies everywhere—and not just the tall, thin, glamorous editors and buyers attending the shows. There’s a whole display that spells out “Barbie” in Barbies, each letter with a different doll. After the jump, more photos of the copious amount of Barbies in the tents (she is, after all, an official sponsor of Fashion Week).

Most little girls (and even some boys!) have a moment where they play in mom’s makeup, pretending to be a grown-up woman.  But is the reverse true as well: do grown women like to play in makeup that looks to be for little girls?

Barbie for Stila, featuring makeup mimicking Barbie’s looks over the past half-century appeared in January. Blue Smurf makeup for Too Faced also came in January and a Hello Kitty collection from M.A.C. — a pink kitty adorns all-black makeup cases — debuts this February.

I love the Smurfs and Barbie as much as the next girl, but what’s up with all the cartoon characters on makeup? And what’s next? Care Bear-inspired pastel nail polish? Strawberry Shortcake red lip gloss? Dare I even suggest orange Garfield eyeshadow?  Help me make sense of all this kitsch, after the jump….

Barbie has had a rather controversial past that has centered around her physique and her impact on young girls. But the past of Barbie toy designer Jack Ryan is juicier than any compromising position you may have put Barbie and Ken in when you were younger. In Toy Monster: The Big, Bad World of Mattel, out next month, Jerry Oppenheimer reveals that Ryan was a “full-blown seventies-style swinger” with “a manic need for sexual gratification.”

Barbie gets everything. Really, it’s not fair. Sure, it’s her 50th birthday this year, but, jeez, she is getting the coolest presents! Besides a fashion show during New York Fashion week and a customized pair of Christian Louboutin shoes, Barbie also gets a collection of makeup by Stila. The limited edition series features four “Decades of Beauty” cans: #1 Ponytail Barbie from 1959, Malibu Barbie from 1971, Foxy Doll from 1980, and Jewel Doll from 2000. Stila also will launch a version of its talking palette with tips on how to get the “Barbie look.” The products will be at Sephora starting next month, though neither will make your boobs as big, your boyfriend as coiffed, or your house as pink as Barbie’s. Sigh. [WWD]

Don’t want to give you baby girl some plastic doll with a wack sense of what women look like? Well, check out DYKEdolls, an alternative action figure that positively portrays ladies and the lesbian lifestyle.  Just look at the adorable family of Kelly, Christine and baby Soo! Or how about a total Betty in a basketball uniform? There’s even a gayelle Cali skater chick! Now these are gals we’d all like to play with…regardless of sexual orientation. [DykeDolls.com via Buzzfeed]

As you know, Barbie’s turning 50 next year, but don’t worry, she isn’t going to start wearing orthopedic shoes any time soon. Christian Louboutin is designing a pair of pumps in Barbie Pantone 219 Pink that will make their debut at the Mattel runway show during February’s fashion week in New York. “I guess I always had a little ‘girlie side’ who liked Barbie,” Louboutin said. “Barbie needs to wear great shoes because every girl needs to wear great shoes.” Wouldn’t it be cool if he made the soles pink instead of his signature red? [WWD]

One of my favorite fashion bloggers, Oslo, Norway’s Are Sundnes of Paranaiv, has created this lovely Barbie of the Undead. No longer nice, blond, and sweet, Zombie Barbie is gently eaten, somewhat gray, and stands over a random limb that she was likely gnawing upon. Bad Undead Barbie! Flesh-eating Barbie and a gorilla-My Pretty Pony chimera are part of a series Are’s making out of recycled toys; “Make boring toys cool!” he explains. Check out some behind the scenes shots of Barbie getting modded here. Of course, Are’s not the first to turn this female icon into art. National Barbie-in-a-Blender Day celebrates Utah artist Tom Forsythe’s court victory over Barbie maker Mattel. The toy manufacturer sued Forsythe for taking arty photographs of Barbie in a blender. Long live Undead Barbie! What did you do to your Barbie? [Boing Boing; photo used by permission of Are Sundnes]