ZOMG! Did you hear?! President Obama is GAY!  According to The Globe, that is. Tabloids sell amazing lies that millions of people buy.  While it would have been doubly empowering for America to not only elect its first African-American, but also its first openly homosexual President, these rumors are just fun fantasies good for a laugh—which we could all use right about now. Guess that’s why The National Enquirer is America’s best selling weekly “newspaper.” Here are our favorite outrageously LOL rag-mag cover stories…

We’ve all had a dream about a celebrity at some point in our lives, but many women have been dreaming about President Barack Obama or the Obamas in general. What Obama dream have you had?

Thanks to the immediacy of Twitter we can find out all sorts of stuff about celebs that the paparazzi and gossipers can’t. We now know that the First Twitter Celeb Couple, Ashton Kutcher and wife Demi Moore, are really irritated by their neighbor’s early morning construction. And all the details leading up to the birth of Erykah Badu’s second daughter were revealed via her baby daddy’s Twitter. She didn’t go to a hospital, but had a midwife, and she didn’t use any drugs. When she was dilated eight and a half centimeters, she felt the urge to push. That last detail was a little TMI, but in case you want to find out all the gory or mundane aspects of your favorite celebrity, check out our list after the jump.

I’m a big fan of the old “Thin Man” movies from the 30’s and ‘40’s. If you haven’t seen them, they’re about Nick Charles, a wry and debonair detective who enjoys martinis, solving convoluted murder plots, and spending time with his lanky wife Nora. I can take or leave the murder mystery element of the films; what I really love are Nick and Nora as a couple. They have a certain rapport that you don’t see between a man and a woman in too many movies, past or present. Nora isn’t just standing around breathlessly, waiting to be taken care of, nor is she rolling her eyes at Nick’s antics, waiting for him to hurry up and grow up. They tease each other, are interested in each other, seem attracted to each other, and occasionally like to get soused together. Who (apart from teetotalers) wouldn’t like to have this type of relationship with his or her partner? I watched a DVD extra on “The Thin Man” after I bought the box set and a commenter put it perfectly into words: “‘The Thin Man’ made marriage look sexy.’”

By now you’ve heard the totally unsubstantiated rumor that Michelle Obama might be pregnant. The chances of it being true are slim. After all, having just turned 45 years old, Michelle is of the age where it’s very difficult to conceive naturally, and something tells me that she and Barack (Is it disrespectful to be on a—one-sided—first name basis with the President and the First Lady?) aren’t making top secret trips to the fertility clinic. So, knowing this rumor is most likely going to end up being just that—a rumor—we can’t help but feel a little giddy at the thought of an Obama baby. Five reasons why, after the jump…

The word “change” is often associated with President Obama, and he certainly got down to business during his first week in office. Not only did he sign an order to shut down the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Obama also issued an informal order calling for a “business casual” dress code on weekends.

Of course, this is most certainly not his most important act as president so far, but it does say a lot about the man. Former President George W. Bush wouldn’t allow anyone to enter the Oval Office without a coat and tie, even on weekends. Already, Obama has already been photographed without his jacket during the week, and wearing slacks and a sweater for a meeting with his chief economic advisor on the weekend.

And the weekend dress code isn’t the only difference between the Obama White House and the Bush White House. Obama’s arrives at work at 9am, rather than the crack of dawn, and he has been seen working as late as 10pm. The refrigerators are stocked with his favorite Honest Tea Flavors, Black Forest Berry and Green Dragon, and he wants to get rid of the green and white plates in the Oval Office: “I’m not really a plates kind of guy.” [NY Times]

• According to MediaTakeout.com, the National Enquirer (we know, quality sources, right?) is poised to report that The First Lady apparently didn’t like the way Beyonce was making goo-goo eyes at her man, President Obama, and threatened to ban her from the inaugural festivities. [Media Takeout]
• Hawaii is considering a plan to drop-kick all its homeless people back to the mainland. Aloha! [Honolulu Advertiser]
• We’ve heard of couples thinking alike, but dressing alike??!! This is taking it way too far. [Lemondrop]

Ever since Barack Obama began campaigning for the presidency, designers of a wide range of products have latched on to his marketability. And, at last, good old American pride seems to have gotten high fashion cred. Photographer Bruce Weber shot two models wearing Obama shirts with designer skirts and head pieces for Italian Vogue, and Elle‘s Kate Lanphear showed her presidential approval on Inauguration Day by sporting an “Obama Mama” tee. But Obama-fever isn’t relegated to T-shirts. A model who looks a little bit like our president closed Lanvin’s Fall 2009 show in Sunday. Hooray for the U.S.A.!

The anti-choice organization, CatholicVote.org has put together this advertisement which argues against abortion using Obama as its proof that abortion is wrong. After all, IMAGINE THE POTENTIAL. If Barack Obama had been aborted, he would have never been President and…wait…defended Roe V. Wade. Uh, okay, whatever. Anyway, if Obama has been aborted, he wouldn’t have been President, and then the universe would be screwed, and the American people wouldn’t have a rock star hottie for a leader, so therefore abortion is wrong! But wait, let’s imagine the potential of other coulda-been-aborted people—Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, Spencer Pratt...the argument goes both way, peeps. [AdFreak]

Listen, I’m not going to attempt to explain this video. What does it all mean? I have no clue. One thing is for sure. It’s fascinating. On Fox 2 News in Detroit, a sexpert takes to the airwaves for a segment called “The Love Doctor” to reveal what the intimate relationship of Michelle and Barack Obama is really like. Kiki T has already gone there, but I’m down for a second opinion. Fox’s sexpert says there’s a lot of affection between them. “They do a lot of touching,” she says, “kissing,” she continues, “even fisting.” WHAT??? What did she just say??? She said fisting! Wait, does she mean fisting or fisting? Whichever, I can’t imagine George and Laura did a lot of that in the White House.

Today is Blog For Choice day, when pro-choice bloggers everywhere “raise the profile of reproductive rights in the blogosphere,” while commemorating Roe V. Wade, which celebrates its 36th anniversary today.  Each year, Blog For Choice poses a question and ask the blogosphere to answer and this year’s is especially timely, given the inauguration of President Barack Obama. “What is your pro-choice hope for President Obama and/or the new Congress?” My hope is that Obama and Congress will work together to redistribute the money spent on abstinence only education the last eight years and put it towards comprehensive and compassionate sex education. Everyone, pro-choice and anti-choice, wants abortion statistics to go down and the only way to get there is by making sure everyone, particularly teenagers, understands how to protect themselves from pregnancy (and STDs). So what’s your pro-choice hope for President Obama and/or Congress? Answer in the comments! Anti-choice? Sorry! [Blog For Choice]

America is going to expect a lot from Barack Obama over his next four to eight years as president. And a lot will also be expected of his wife, who will essentially be doing her job backwards. And in heels. Well, maybe not so much. But she won’t be getting paid.

Should we remedy this situation? Hell no. Why’s that? Well, let’s start here. Barack Obama focused much of his campaign – and his presidency going forward – on a call to charity work. Should his wife really be the first First Lady who refuses to donate her time to better the nation?

Sometimes a chocolate bust, comic book, pint of beer or T-shirt just isn’t adequate. Therefore, some Obama supporters have taken to inking their skin to memorialize this moment in history. One Washington, D.C. parlor is even running a promotion for people in town for the inauguration. Fatty’s Custom Tattooz and Body Piercing has christened this week “Obamathon,” where customers can get a free “Obama ‘08” logo tattoo if they spend at least $200 on another tattoo. There have been multiple inquiries about Obama tattoos at Fatty’s and other Washington-area parlors, but, thankfully, only a few have gone through with it. Find out why I say “thankfully” after the jump.

Michelle Obama looked stunning at last night’s inaugural balls in a white one-shoulder full-length gown by 26-year-old Tapei-born, New York-based designer Jason Wu. But her choices might not only be based on what looks good on her. In fact, if you read into yesterday’s outfits, Barack and Michelle are very much on the same page when it comes to fashion and politics.

1. Just as Barack Obama’s presidential campaign aimed to invigorate young people and emphasized that their votes counted, Michelle is giving the same sense of purpose to young designers. No longer does a designer need to be an household name to have their designs worn to big-time events, though it helps if they’ve been in the running for the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund endowment like many of the designers she’s worn (Jason Wu, Isabel Toledo, Thakoon).

Last week we wrote about the controversy surrounding Ms. magazine’s cover image which featured President Obama in a shirt that reads, “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like.” Around the same time, it was revealed that Obama does identify as a feminist, a fact that, frankly, impresses me. Many women with feminist values don’t identify as feminist and that’s even more true of men. But now that President Obama, whose inauguration was the most viewed, um, ever, has identified as a feminist AND the leading feminist magazine has declared him one, will male feminists be more in vogue? I decided to ask the guys on my IM. Check their responses, after the jump…