“[Sheryl Crow] wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn’t want that, but I didn’t want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I’d just had kids [Luke, Grace and Bella].”

—Lance Armstrong in the upcoming biography, Lance

I am a woman. I have all the biological requirements to have a child. Yet, I do not have the instincts or rational desire to do so. Does that make me less of a woman to not want to have a child either by using my body, my eggs, or my money to adopt?

Everyone seems to be looking for the next big thing in cozy. Of course, there’s the Snuggie and all of its permutations, but what about people who have babies and want keep them all cuddly and warm while mom runs errands? Gizmodo just unearthed the Peekaru, an $80 fleece vest with a pouch used for transporting babies. It’s kind of like a synthetic-fiber kangaroo pouch. Fingers crossed that we see a mom using one of these in real life—only then will we be complete. [Gizmodo via The Underwhelmer]

Designer babies may be the new thing for couples that have extra bucks in the bank and can afford to have the perfect child. But what about those younger, poorer pairs who want offspring? Like those of us who don’t have the funds to afford fancy furniture and instead purchase cheap, assemble-it-yourself starter stuff, these wannabe-parents will make a trip to Ikea. BÅB is a newborn baby that comes in a flat box to cut down on costs. Genius!

Actually, BÅB isn’t real. If you were hoping for the baby equivalent of the BILLY bookshelf, sorry. BÅB was a joke created by a mathematician with a sense of humor. It’s a good thing BÅB doesn’t really exist, because upwardly mobile couples might get rid of their starter babies in exchange for designer babies when the economy bounces back. [The Daily Beast]

More babies are made when the people involved in the process have orgasms. When men are fully stimulated, they ejaculate up to 50 percent more than during just any ole intercourse, and an extra five minutes of going at it before he gets off can produce even more sperm. For women, scientists believe that having orgasms can help them suck up the sperm and send it on its way into the uterus. And I haven’t even told you about the pig research yet! Danish researchers have found that sows (female pigs) that were sexually stimulated by farmers during artificial insemination had a 6 percent increase on their fertility. Don’t worry, that can’t be nearly as dirty as it sounds because the Danish government gives farmers instructions on how to stimulate their pigs. Moral of the story: If you’re lucky enough to be having really good sex that’s chock full of orgasms, don’t get careless with your birth control. [The Observer]

Dr. Jeff Steinberg of Fertility Institutes of Manhattan and L.A., who has let thousands choose the sex of their babies, now says that in six months he will also be able to let parents decide the eye and hair color of their kid. “In the process of doing gender selection ... we’ve also uncovered the technology [to] characterize things like eye and hair color,” said Steinberg. Of course, would-be moms and dads, will only have the choice of blue or brown eyes and blond or black hair. Doctors will create the designer babies during pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, a procedure used to find problem embryos and to allow parents to pick the sex. After examining the genetic makeup of embryos created in the lab, doctors will only implant the ones that have the greatest chance of giving parents the desired traits.

I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with the Pope or right-to-lifers on anything, but when it comes to the idea of Build-A-Bear style babies, we’re in agreement.

I was lying there on the cold, hard examining table. A stranger came in and before I knew it, I was uncomfortably spreading my legs. He told me it wouldn’t hurt and proceeded to stick a strange contraption up into my body. I was there to find out “if all my parts were as they should be.”

MAKE IT STOP. OctoMom, a.k.a. Nadya Suleman, a.k.a. the brood-having, Angelina Jolie-wannabe, has been offered $1 million to star in an adult movie. I think my head just exploded. The offer comes from Vivid Entertainment, one of the adult industry’s biggest product companies—it’s like the 20th Century Fox of smut, or, well, not. If Suleman joins the Vivid porn star ranks to become a Vivid Girl, she’ll be sisters-in-porn with a celebrity-gone-XXX roster that includes Pam Anderson, Kim Kardashian, and former Miss USA Kelli McCarty. (An Oscar-nominated lineup that ain’t.) The offer comes from the uber-tan CEO of Vivid, Steve Hirsch, the dude responsible for turning Janine, Savannah, and Ginger Lynn into mega-porn stars. Of course, considering that Janine is headed off to jail in a couple weeks, Savannah blew her brains out, and Ginger—well, I don’t know what Ginger is up to these days—OctoMom going PornoMom may not be such a good idea. But, hey, it’d pay the bills. Not to mention keep the octuplets in diapers for a couple years. [TMZ]

I’m in a constant state of baby fever, which is why I love this video of little Charles-Edward. His parents filmed him using time lapse videography, over the course of a four hour play session. It is ridiculous how much that kid accomplishes. Get ready to “Awwwww….”

When we heard about a new procedure that can check a fertilized egg’s viability before it’s implanted, we thought there might be fewer multiple births in the future. Well, it’s not looking that way. Apparently women, especially career-oriented ones, are hoping more than one egg will take when they get in vitro, so they can get more than one pregnancy and child birth over with at the same time. An article in Page Six Magazine this weekend included interviews with mothers who happily gave birth to twins. After the jump, a few of our favorite quotes from ladies who loved getting “two for the price of one.”

Yesterday, a California woman gave birth to octuplets, but such multiple baby births could become even more rare in the future. A new procedure has been developed that is said to check eggs for viability before they’re implanted in a woman’s uterus.

Yesterday we posted about the new website “Yes We Can (Hold Babies)”, a blog comprised of adorable Pro-Obama babies and babies being held by the Democratic Presidential candidate.  Then we noticed a strange thing: while it’s easy to find plenty of Associated Press photos of Obama holding and smooching little rugrats, McCain is rarely photographed with babies (see above EXCLUSIVE PROOF). Of the results for McCain, none of them actually featured the Senator HOLDING a child, though one was of him standing in front of a picture of a fetus. So what does this mean? Does the photographic record show that McCain HATES babies? Weigh in!

I’m not sure, but Barack Obama supporters certainly have a lot of cute examples if they decide to use that as campaign fodder. Oh wait! They have! “Yes We Can (Hold Babies)” has already launched and it’s filled with adorableness. But what about McCain? While there’s no site called “Country First (Babies Too!)” (snatching that URL up, pronto!), I tried to find a picture of McCain doing some infant nuzzling on AP. No such luck. After the jump, the closest thing I could find….

For more than a decade, my best friend has been a gay guy. I don’t really even like qualifying him as a “gay guy,” since his gayness is such a non-issue in our relationship and in my perception of him. Part of that may be the type of gay he is, or more accurately, the type of gay he isn’t. He never knows, for example, when it’s Pride weekend, and he doesn’t own anything rainbow, and he doesn’t even like Madonna. He does, however, love “Project Runway” as much as I do and his home is so beautifully designed, it would give Martha Stewart an inferiority complex. Sometimes after we’ve had a few bottles of wine — as we’re known to do — and we’re good and lubricated, he’ll slide in a comment about the possibility of us making a kid together. Usually, it’ll be a remark about what great hair it would have or how it would surely inherit the same square Flintstone feet we both share. I’ll chuckle and reply with some quip about it also inheriting the same flightiness we both have, too, and then I’ll change the subject.

Nowadays, we modern gals are too busy to worry about spawning.  It might be on some of our to do lists, but according to a 2006 survey, one in five women never have a baby. That’s double the number of childless women in 1976! While 30 years ago, 59% of women had at least three kids, now only 28% have popped that many out. The U.S. Census Bureau, who conducted the survey, speculates that societal factors, like people trying to conceive later because of careers and education, fertility rates steadily dropping since the ‘80s, and a wide range of socially accepted birth control options, are all adding up to less brats, er, bundles of joy.  Now you can point fingers at the empowered products of women’s lib all you want, but we’re willing to bet there’s an underlying economic issue here too. For instance, the birth rate keeps going down while college tuition keeps going up. Coincidence? We think not. Kids cost a lot more than condoms. [The Guardian]

When it’s sexy time, it’s also time to take off your clothes and put on some sweet tunes—like the Pixies, right?  Cause you know when I put on the Surfer Rosa record it is time to get busy. Sadly, now my hip, hot record collection favorites are being marketed towards new parents so they can bring the classics of classic rock to their kids. Awwww…ugh. [Simcha, you know you think that baby with the headphones is a-dor-a-ble.—Editor] Rockabye Baby is a company dedicated to turning the rock, metal, and pop songs you like to do it to into precious little lullabies. That’s right, the same jams that put you in the mood for baby makin’ have been remade for your little bundle of joy. Creepy! When the album you lost your virginity to is on the list (i.e. Nirvana’s Nevermind) it just seems like another sign that you’re are supposed to be squeezing out lil’ screamers by now. But alas, for those actually with mini-me’s the music series features great artists like Led Zeppelin, No Doubt, Bjork, Radiohead and yes, even Metallica, Tool, and Queens of the Stone Age all done over again soft and sweet for nap time. Nicole Richie and Scott Baio spin them for their celebuspawn, because after all, it’s never to early to teach your kid how to headbang to a xylophone heavy rendition of Nine Inch Nails’ The Hand That Feeds.  [Ad Freak]