“My ‘was-boyfriend’ (2/20/87) decided that he and I (5/07/86) should take some time apart after almost three years together. Our first year together was wonderful, and the second was great, but the third had become a little too comfortable—less about love and more about being best friends. He says this isn’t about anyone else, but he isn’t sure that I’m ‘the one.’ Sometimes I feel the same, but I think back to how amazing things were in the beginning. We’ve dealt with more than our fair share of long-distance love, and now he’ll be going to grad school while I’m out in the workforce. Do you think we have a chance of rekindling the romance and falling back in love?” —Tepid Taurus

I’m so confused about my current girlfriend. I’m a Sag and she’s a Libra. A little background info: We’ve only been together since February 13, but it started before that. Recently, I got stationed back home, after being gone for almost four years. I “re-met” this girl Ashley from high school when I was out celebrating my 22nd birthday. It was fireworks from the start. A few weeks later, we started talking about my deployment, and she said the longest she’s been away from a boyfriend is two weeks and even that was too hard. She promised me that she’d wait for me. Up until a week ago (five weeks in), things were good. I emailed her regularly, called her from foreign ports when I could. She even broke down and said that she never really noticed how much I meant to her until I was gone, eventually coming out and saying that she loved me. I knew how I felt about her and told her I loved her, too.

“I am an Aquarius (born Feb. 13th 1982) and my boyfriend is a Taurus (April 21st 1972). We’ve been together a few months and I have feelings for him, but his behavior confuses me. At first, he was all flowers and calling for no reason, but now he hardly ever calls. When we do meet it’s wonderful and he’s so loving! He sometimes talks about wanting to travel or buy a house, then casually asks me if I’d join him; but at the same time, he hasn’t planned our next rendez-vous himself for a while now. I feel rejected and neglected when he acts this way, but I’m afraid of scaring him off and being too needy if I say anything. So, I’m wondering if we went too fast at first, if he’s losing interest and is afraid to tell me, or if he’s maybe just trying to back off and see if I’m ‘the one’ or what?? So confused!” —Aquarius Lady

“I’m a Cancer gal (07/07/1989, born at 12:36 pm), and I recently started dating a Virgo (09/04/1989) that I have known for a number of years. Even though we only got together recently, I have a really good feeling about this relationship. I know I get obsessed easily, but I pretty much feel like he’s y’know… ‘The One.’ He’s also expressed similar feelings for me. So the other night he confided in me that he is still a virgin. Not because he hasn’t had the chance, he just didn’t feel right with the girls he did have chances with. Now, I am not a virgin, but I’ve only slept with three people and can probably count on my fingers (and toes) how many times I have had intercourse. I just worry that he’s not going to stick with the girl he first sticks it to, and is going to want to sow his wild oats later on. Am I freaking out unnecessarily or should I be worried?” —Cancer Gal

I am a Sagittarius (11/27/75). About 12 years ago I met a Cancer (06/26/73) and from the beginning, it felt like there was an instant bond between us. Over the years we became really good friends and recently started dating. It’s been going well, though I don’t hear much from him. He goes out of town a lot, so I only get to spend time with him twice a month. During the times he’s been away, I’ve spent a lot of time with my single friends going out dancing and that’s when I met a younger Capricorn (12/27/87), who is fun, exciting and the best kisser ever. I’ve been spending less and less time with Cancer and more and more with Capricorn, but I’m not sure if there is any long term potential with him. I would really like to find someone to settle down with, but I just don’t know which one to choose, please help. —Saucy Sag

I’m very much attracted to a guy who happens to have the same birthday as me (9/11/84 @ 6:30 pm, don’t know his time). After two drunken makeout sessions, I’m very confused because he has been running hot and cold with me for the past two months. We’re friends and I can’t figure out if he’s afraid to make a move for the sake of the friendship or if he’s not interested. I can’t help but think that it’s significant that we share the same birthday, but am I reading too much into it? —Confused

I’m a Cancer (born June 27, 1989) and my lover is a Virgo (born September 12, 1987). We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. We both have this emotional pull and undeniable attraction towards each other and think we’re soul mates, but something keeps bothering me. I feel like he picks on me a lot. He’s critical about the way I dress and how much I weigh. For example, the day we met, he poked my thigh and was like, “Maybe you should go to the gym and work out.” 

I don’t know if I’m being extra sensitive, which I am most of the time, but I love my curves and don’t want to change anything about my body. I run four times a week and eat healthy. Little things he says and does make me think maybe he’s not that into me, even though he claims to want to spend the rest of his life with me and wants me not to leave him. Am I being too sensitive for this harsh Virgo? Am I taking the little things too seriously? —Criticized Crab

I’m an energetic Aries and I’m getting involved in my first ever threesome relationship with two signs that are very compatible with mine—a very intriguing Sag woman and her awesome Gemini boyfriend. I know that the three of us should work out together, but is there any advice you can give me on how to keep things running smoothly in our happy partnership? I’m a little nervous about coming between them, is there anything I can do about that?—Two Become Three

I will start off with the players: Me, Leo 8/11/72, born approx 8:30pm, Eugene Oregon; my husband, a Virgo, 9/5/76, born in Kitchener Ontario, and the lover, a Gemini, 5/23/77, born in Poughkeepsie NY.

My husband and I married very quickly after being friends for a long time—there had always been some chemistry and attraction, but once we were married things really went downhill. It has reached the point that I don’t want to make the effort because I resent him so much, and also the lack of response and attention from him has affected my self-esteem.  We ‘took a break’ in August, this was a huge relief for me.  For a variety of reasons it is not possible for us to separate completely yet, and we continue to live together.  He wants to reconcile, I do not think I will ever be able to be happy in this relationship. To his credit, he is very committed to me and willing to work on the relationship, but I just don’t feel like he’s ever going to get it — get me, and that is a very lonely feeling within a relationship.

I am a Leo (born at 7:56 p.m. on Aug. 7, 1984 in Texas) who is still hung up on a Sagittarius guy (Dec. 14, 1977 in Wisconsin) after three years. I was ready to be in a relationship and my life was in a great place. Unfortunately, he wasn’t. A woman had left him for another guy a couple years before and he was still not over it.  We hung out a lot as friends and we didn’t ever have sex, though we came close a few times. Then things got intense very quickly (mostly my feelings for him) and he withdrew from me. Also, he made comments a few times that made me see that he was still heart broken after the last girl and he actually seemed to directing his pain into anger at her and women in general. He became a real downer, and I started to get pretty depressed too. 

For four years I’ve been dating a man on and off. We were both very happy and we had great chemistry. He wanted to establish a serious relationship, but due to our hectic schedules, we cooled things off for a while. Now he wants to start dating me again and the chemistry is still there. He says he still has feelings for me, but I’m tired of the on and off again relationship. Do you think that this will become serious? My birth date is 6/20/67 at 12:38 pm and his is 8/24/75. —Uncertain

“I’m a Leo girl (Capricorn Ascendant, Moon in Aries, Mars in Capricorn, Venus in Libra) and I’m extremely emotional. I’m dating a really great guy (Sun in Virgo, Sagittarius Ascendant, Moon in Aquarius, Mars in Leo, Venus in Libra) who is really into me. We have been together for over a year and have a great relationship. We rarely argue, still have an exciting sex life and I think we balance each other out very well. My emotional personality goes well with his practicality and discipline. However, our relationship started out while he was in the process of getting divorced — he and his ex wife have been divorced for eight months now. We’ve gone through numerous difficulties and have come out of those issues closer and stronger than before. My problem seems to be trusting him and controlling my jealous impulses. I want to put my wandering mind to rest and believe that he is faithful. I have no reason NOT to believe this, as he constantly speaks with me and tells me he loves and misses me, but sometimes I can’t help but think that he is sleeping with his ex or someone he works with.

He talks about the future constantly. However, he is skeptical about moving too fast because he thinks that was his issue with his ex-wife. He says that things will develop naturally over time. However, my impatient nature has me ready to move in with him right away. He frequently says, ‘It’s not the right time for us.’ I know I should be patient, trust him and give him time, especially since he just recently got divorced, but I can’t seem to lock my emotions down and trust that this is the right thing for us right now. Help!” —Leo Lady

I was best friends with this guy all through college. Senior year we figured out we were attracted to each other and secretly hooked up a couple of times even though we were both in very serious relationships.  We continued to hook up whenever we saw each other, but we never spoke about an actual relationship or our real feelings for one another.
Fast forward to last year — we had a very intense email correspondence going, telling each other how much we loved each other, and how we would try our best to make a relationship work, despite us living on opposite coasts with promising careers. At this time he was in a serious long-term relationship with another girl but he intimated that he would break up with her when he returned. I went to visit him for a week. During that trip, I learned that he was planning to buy a house and move in with his long-term girlfriend.  I was pissed off and didn’t speak to him for a year.  He and his girlfriend are now living the perfect suburban dream.
A couple of months ago, when he was visiting the west coast, I saw him. It was wonderful and we hooked up again. The last night he was in town, we stayed up all night talking—it was intense. I wanted to tell him how much he had hurt me before, but I didn’t want to ruin a perfect night.  So, I emailed him after he left and told him how much he had hurt me, how much he meant to me, and how I was still willing to make something work. I haven’t heard from him for two months. I’m totally kicking myself, but I still want to believe in my heart that this just isn’t the time for us, and that the time might come someday.  My birthday is 11/29/78, time 7:56am, in Washington. His birthday is 9/26/78.  Do we have a chance in hell or am I another doormat?—Confused

I need your help, I’m a Sagittarius (11/23/88) and my boyfriend is a Leo (07/30/89). He’s a really nice guy and he gets along very well with my family, but I feel like he lets people tread all over him. His mom uses him and treats him like a stepchild, and he just takes it. She’s never encouraged him to go to college, and she never motivates him to be better. I’m tired of him being a momma’s boy.

I’m also tired of being the only person encouraging him to do something for himself. I help my mom by babysitting for my siblings, while I also have two jobs, go to school part time, and study for exams; I don’t have time for a loser BF. He does nothing with his life, so we never have anything to talk about. And then there’s our sex life. I feel like an idiot when I’m trying to talk dirty. He’s quiet ALL the time, even in the middle of sex, and it’s always the same two positions. Our sex life is boring, despite the fact that I try so hard by wearing sexy and provocative things. He won’t even spank me! I just don’t know if I should stay with Mr. Nice Guy. —Ms. Naughty Girl

I’m a strong Aquarius and my partner is a Libra. She and I started out as friends; we met through a drama club and a community service club. She would flirt with me and I would flirt back — at the time, I had no idea that I was a lesbian. We quickly became very sexual-hump buddies and then I kissed her in the heat of the moment. Three months later we started having sexy-time-escapades. Then she said she actually liked me; I hesitated, but I said I liked her too.  So, we’ve been dating for about two years now, but I still have a desire to be free.

She can be very controlling and manipulating. I’ve wanted to break up with her, but she threatens to kill herself. Recently, I decided that I would break up with her because I am about to go to college and I really want a clean, focused state of mind upon entering college — but I can’t do it.  I just don’t know what to do about this situation and in my opinion it is getting out of control.  The first time she gave me oral sex we got in a HUGE fight right before — I regret that so much.  Basically, our relationship is based on sexual desire with a hint of friendship.  She is all about being out about being gay and letting everyone know, but I don’t like that idea. I just don’t know what to do. —Ms. Aqua

I’m a Leo (8/10/82) and my boyfriend is a Libra (9/25/81). We’ve been together for about two years and it’s the most compatible relationship I’ve ever had. Most of the time, he’s very sweet to me and would do anything for me. We love each other, marriage has come up in conversation, and we live together. However, he has a slight drinking problem. He’s cut back a lot since we temporarily broke up and got back together. He doesn’t drink every day, all day anymore. He’s not a violent drunk, and, actually, most of the time he doesn’t even get drunk. 

Lately, though, when he has been drunk, he gets a little belligerent and says idiotic things that make no sense. It’s like he’s suffering from dementia. It’s really irritating, especially when he does this around my friends and makes them think he’s an idiot. When I tell him how he’s acting, he’s dismissive. Yesterday, he even called me a bitch, which he knows is my trigger word. I’ve been with an alcoholic before and the relationship was a terrible mess. I don’t want this one to get that way. Is it worth letting him take the slow road to recovery or should I just give up? —Fed Up With Nonsense

I’m Aries female seeing an Aquarius male for the past eight months. We started off purely sexual, after a year of flirting and shortly after we both got out of previous relationships.  He has made it clear he wasn’t ready for a relationship and I agreed. But our feelings have grown stronger and we have expressed love for each other. He still maintains not being ready for a commitment, yet has gotten extremely jealous at times. In fact, we had our worst argument yet when my ex allowed me to store my things and stay in his extra bedroom when I moved out of my apartment, until I got back on my feet. (Please keep in mind that Mr. Aquarius knew I was going to be in transition and never offered for me to stay with him.) My Aquarius man ended up in the hospital from the stress of this past argument, expressing that his “love for me was about to kill him.”

I’ve never been in a “non-relationship” that was this dramatic. I really do care for this guy. However, I find it hard to follow invisible relationship rules. I have no urges to cheat on him and I completely trust him in that department as well (we’re highly compatible sexually). He’s still not ready for a relationship, yet tells me he’s never experienced a love so strong. What can I expect with him?  I feel he’s being manipulative. Should I just to be patient, because it’s the Aquarius tendency to take relationships slow?  I’m a typical, impatient Aries…and feel I have compromised a lot of myself. Should I just leave him alone? —(Im)patiently Waiting

My birthday is May 1st. My boyfriend’s birthday is June 15th. In March we’ll have been dating for eight years. I’m ready to get married and move the relationship forward. I was going to move in with him a few months back, but he said he knew that wouldn’t “entirely get him off the hook.” I know he is not ready to get married, nor does he know if he wants to have kids, while I know I do. He says I’ll just spend all his money, while I’ve said I would sign a pre-nup. Should I stick it out? I think I know the answer, but I’ve been too scared to break up with him.

To make my life more complicated, there is a guy; he is a Cancer (and seven years younger), and he has been wanting to date me badly. I can’t stop thinking about him. I keep stalling on doing anything because I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend and I also don’t necessarily want to jump from my boyfriend to another guy. Please help!  I need some advice! —Lost Taurus Gal

I’m a Capricorn girl (moon in Pisces, Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Libra) who’s four years into a long-distance relationship with a Sagittarian guy (moon in Cancer, Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Virgo). I think we both feel a sense of being drawn to the other, but this long-distance situation has taken a big toll on me emotionally. My biggest problem is that I have such a hard time trusting him and believing his motives are genuine. My dad (Aries) was a philanderer so my natural cynicism and disbelief that men can truly love and be happy with one woman is quite high. Sag guy makes an effort to listen to my doubts, learn to communicate better through words, and let me know how important I am to him. I think I love his freewheeling Sag ways when we’re together, but feel some concern over them when we’re apart.

I have been emailing and talking on the phone with a man across the county who I met through a group online. His birthday is 9/10. I was born on 11/15. We get along great, enjoy the same things and I’ve developed very warm feelings for him. He says he looks forward to meeting me, as we are both traveling to meet with other members in our group next year. But I sometimes get mixed messages from him, which makes me sad, since we have been communicating for six months everyday. Then he will call me, even if I don’t call him. Do you see a romance developing? —A Drowning Water Sign