Last week, when underdog Kris Allen won “American Idol” over clear favorite Adam Lambert, my jaw dropped. I wanted to call foul, but I didn’t have proof until today. According to the New York Times, last week’s “Idol” finale is the new 2000 election. They say the vote may have been unfairly rigged, thanks to some wheeling and dealing by AT&T, Idol’s main corporate sponsor. Recount in Arkansas! Please, thank you! After the jump, the sordid details.

You know that Queen song where they chant “no time for losers” really obnoxiously for, like, five minutes? Well Entertainment Weekly is suggesting the band make time for “American Idol” loser runner-up Adam Lambert. Since Queen’s lead singer, Paul Rodgers, recently peaced out the band, they need a replacement ASAP. And on the last episode of “Idol,” Kris Allen did a duet of Queen’s “Champions” with Lambert, and his flamboyancy totally reminded us of late Queen singer Freddie Mercury. EW says Adam “has the musical chops and stage presence vital to preserving Queen’s signature sound.” So, should Adam pick up the phone and call Queen, stat? Or should he concentrate on churning out his own tunes? [EW]

I don’t think I’ve seen America so wound up over the results of an election since November. In case you live under a rock, Kris Allen, the Jack Johnson-type from Arkansas, beat out glam-rocker Adam Lambert from San Diego for the title of “American Idol” last night. The star-studded season finale, which included performances by Cyndi Lauper, KISS, Queen, and a host of other music legends, ran over two hours. “It feels good,” Kris replied when Ryan asked how it felt to win, “but Adam deserves this.” If Twitter-verse is any indication, a lot of America agrees with him.

In a major upset, Kris Allen beat out guyliner-wearing Adam Lambert in the “American Idol” finale last night. During his performance with KISS, Adam’s fashion sense stole the show. His jacket featured weird cage-like shoulders that looked positively Lady Gaga-esque. [Los Angeles, 5/20/09]

Last night was the battle of the roommates on “American Idol.” Xenu-enthusiasts Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise watched as the always dramatic Adam Lambert and the quietly confident Kris Allen duked it out vocally. In round one, each one chose his favorite song of the competition. Adam brought back “Mad World,” and Kris made us swoon with “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone.” Next, producer Simon Fuller picked the songs—Adam got Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come,” while Kris funked out Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On.” Finally, we suffered through the contestants’ renditions of “No Boundaries,” co-written by judge Kara DioGuardi. Equally awe inspiring, in a bad way, was Paula in a day-glow green getup and Simon in a shirt unbuttoned to his bellybutton.

I know neither of these guys really wants to win because they both read my post last week about how guys who take home the “American Idol” title are eternally cursed. But since I can’t make up my mind about who I want to win, here’s a side-by-side look at these vocal monsters.

We were bummed last week when Ali Iraheta got the chop after what seemed like a flawless, if somewhat copycat, rendition of Janis Joplin’s “Cry Baby.” The top three is now a total sausage-fest—only Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, and Danny Gokey remain. If these dudes are smart, they should be scheming up ways to get eliminated this week. “Idol” history proves that no dude in the top two ever goes on to good. Check out the bad luck that’s befallen the top male Idols.

This just in from the Department of No-Duh: Paula Abdul has fessed up to Ladies Home Journal that she’s been fighting an addiction to pain killers. For 12 years, Ms. Straight Up was anything but, shooting syringes of lidocaine into her butt before graduating to a don’t-try-this-at-home pain killer patch that’s 80 percent stronger than morphine. [NYDN]

What’s even better than awesome? Kick awesome! Kris Allen uses the catch phrase to describe his run on “Idol.” But who is this fresh-faced cutie that might be the dark horse contender of the season? Evidently, the nicest, most “aww, shucks,” most bring-home-to-mom dude on the planet.

Susan Boyle didn’t look like much when she stepped to the microphone on “Britain’s Got Talent,” the UK version of “American Idol.” Her hair’s wack, her brows need plucking, and she did a tummy wiggle dance that was just not becoming. But once she opened her mouth, even Meanasaurus Rex Simon Cowell got teary over her flawless rendition of “I’ve Dreamed A Dream.” Show em’ how it’s done, old girl!

On Tuesday, “American Idol” contestant Adam Lambert dramatically belted out “Mad World” by Tears for Fears, a performance so good he knocked stone cold Simon Cowell onto his feet. Cowell actually gave him a standing ovation, saying, “Words aren’t necessary but I’m going to give you a standing ovation.” Woah! We got the DL on Simon’s new fave.

Tonight, I’ll be liveblogging the latest episode of “American Idol,” starting at 8pm EST. So far, the judges have hit cities like Phoenix and Louisville, and heard some pretty atrocious voices (and a couple of good ones). Tonight our ears will split in Salt Lake City! Mormons singing, hooray!

Amelia and I both watched all four hours of “American Idol” Tuesday and Wednesday. It was a lot to handle, especially because they show so many terrible people and the judges are cruel to them, but we had to see whether there are any crush-worthy contestants. While he doesn’t compare to Josiah Leming from last season, Anoop Desai, a 21-year-old grad student from Chapel Hill, NC, is kind of charming in a geeky way. However, word on the street is that he doesn’t make into the top 50. We’ll be sussing out the cute-Idol situation again once the contestants get narrowed down next week.

You may have noticed something different about the “American Idol” premiere last night. No, they didn’t get rid of the talentless attention-whores, er, I mean competitors. But they did add something to the mix—a fourth judge by the name of Kara DioGuardi. Although I absolutely detest this show, I couldn’t help but wonder about her qualifications for judging the next idol because I had never heard of her before. Now I realize she might be the most qualified judge on the panel.