“Lots of things about my relationship are great, but the sex is vanilla — my boyfriend is weirded out by my collection of sex toys, and isn’t willing to experiment. What should I do?”—In Need Of Spice, New Orleans, LA

I think this depends on what kind of toys you have. If your collection is filled with gag-balls and strap-ons, I can’t say I blame your boyfriend for feeling uneasy. On the other hand, if all you want to do is lock him to the bed with furry pink handcuffs, there’s some room to negotiate. 

“I am dating a new guy and I want to have sex with him, but he’s extremely well endowed. If I start having regular sex with him will I stretch my vagina permanently?”—Dating Mr. Big

Unless his penis is the size of a 9 lb. baby, the answer is “no.” Vaginas have a lot of natural elasticity, and even expand with arousal. The width of a large penis is not likely to stretch your vagina any noticeable amount.

If this is an issue you’re worried about, try doing daily Kegel exercises. Kegels are like pilates for your vagina, tightening the muscles that surround the urethra, vagina, and anus. If you’re not sure which muscle to contract for this exercise, try testing it out while you’re peeing. The muscle you use the stop the flow of urine is the same one you should contract for kegels. Start with reps of 10 a day and increase as needed.

Now go have sex, my child!

Got a burning question for our amazingly wise Nookie Know-It-All? Email it to sexpert@thefrisky.com. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your deets between us.

Is your love life in a tizzy? Feeling trapped in a scandalous situation that only cosmic forces can pull you out of? Looking for answers that only fate can provide? If so, then you’ve come to the right place — right to the presence of Kiki T., the one and only Astrosexologist Extraordinaire and overall moral authority.  Spill your sexy secrets and find out how to satisfy yourself celestially. By learning all the astrological ins and out to love and lust, you can realize that getting some control isn’t necessarily light years away. Sure, Kiki’s FriskyScopes are awesome, but aren’t you hungering for more….specific advice? Head to Kiki’s board on The Frisky Forums and post a question about your own sex/love life—just be sure to include as much astrological info as possible so Kiki knows who she’s workin’ with.

“First date” - two simple words that can send shivers up anyone’s spine, much like the words “job interview.” When you think about it, there isn’t much of a difference between the two, except one involves cocktails and palpable sexual tension. I have no idea where that old adage “You are what you eat” came from, because the truth is, “You are what you wear.” Clothes speak volumes and no matter what, they will always prompt judgments from others. Chances are, the person you’re into isn’t going to notice how perfectly your bangles play into the boho-chic vibe you were going for, or how you expertly coordinated your makeup shades to play up the metallic sheen outlining your top. Guys don’t notice the details, but they do see the overall big picture. Here are some general tips to follow before any date, after the jump…

“What’s the best way to exit an awkward morning-after?”—Pullin’ The Slip in Akron, OH

Planning a hit and run? The best way to get out of dodge is usually the most obvious. Tell your boy-toy you’ve got plans. If it’s a weekday, tell him you’ve got an early work meeting. If it’s a weekend, tell him you’ve got brunch plans with your girlfriends. If you’re not into this guy, be sure you don’t sugarcoat the goodbye speech, or you could get a stage-five clinger. Try not to say things like, “I’ve got to go, but I really want you to call me.” Or, “I’ve got to run but I’d love to see what our kids would look like.” If he tries to ask for your number on the way out and you don’t want to talk to him again, use the same line girls have been hearing for years: tell him you had a really nice time last night, but you’re just getting over somebody and aren’t ready to start something new. You might break his little heart…but at least you won’t have to break your phone.

Got a burning question for our amazingly wise Nookie Know-It-All? Email it to sexpert@thefrisky.com. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your deets between us.

“Can you really not get preggers if you have sex on the last days of your period?”—Hating Condoms, Cleveland, OH

How many times have you heard an “Oops” story? Every Christmas there’s always that relative that drinks too much eggnog and says something like, “You know, Larry was a mistake. We were done having kids. We wanted to go to Bermuda.” I’m sure if Larry was a lawyer and not still living with his mother, she wouldn’t say that. But you get my drift.

I really enjoy having sex once I’m having it, but I don’t think I have much sex drive in general—I never am the one to initiate sex with my husband, even though he’d like me too. It just never occurs to me. Once he puts the moves on though, I’m all for it. Is there any way I can ramp up my sex drive so that I can be more spontaneously horny for him?—Half-Heartedly Lazy, San Diego, CA

Lack of sex drive in women is way more common than you think. Doctors estimate almost 43% of women suffer from a low libido, with psychological and physical factors to blame. Before you figure out how to become hornier for your man, you need to figure out why you’re not in the mood. Physically, factors that can decrease your sexual desire are alcoholism, anemia, and hormone deficiencies. Psychologically, women who tend to have a lack of sex drive can be depressed, stressed, or suffering from past sexual issues (such as rape) or childhood hang-ups.

If you think you might be suffering from any of these factors, make an appointment with your doctor so he can give you his recommendations. In the meantime, start thinking of different fantasies when you’re away from your husband (work, running errands, etc.), and treat yourself to something lacy and naughty (and expensive!). Then, schedule a time in your mind when you want to get busy. A lot of times women get more turned on when they know when they’re going to have sex. Spontaneity can be just as hot when it’s planned!

“Some guys can have sex several times in a row, while others need a few hours in between sessions. What might account for this variation, and is there a way for guys to make it so that they can increase not only stamina during sex, but decrease the amount of recovery time they need in between sessions?”—Ready For Another Round, Boston, MA

The better men eat, the better their stamina. Getting an erection (and using it) takes a lot of nutrients and blood, so men should eat lots of healthy whole grain carbs to provide energy. Zinc (which helps produce testosterone and sperm) is a good supplement to take, but you can also find it in lots of different seafoods, peas and lentils.

One time, over a very awkward lunch, my mom told me my dad took the “blue pill” (Viagra), and went on for hours over and over again. I can’t describe it, but the look on her face was not a smile. Still, if you’re not interested in trying the natural route, you can always suggest that your partner take a prescription supplement. Or, if you’re cheap, that Horny Goat Weed they sell at the corner deli.

“I’m prone to UTIs. Is it possible for my husband to get them too? Every time I’m on the verge, he claims to get tingly and itchy too.”—Itchy & Scratchy, Atlanta, GA

For those of you not in med school, UTI’s (Urinary Tract Infections) happen when bacteria get into the bladder or kidney and multiply in the urine. While most UTIs are caused by bacteria, a good portion of them are also caused by allergies to foods, latex condoms, spermicides, or oral contraceptives.

My husband and I have tried having wall sex and shower sex (facing each other, missionary-style, etc.) and I think they make it look much hotter in the movies. Either that or my quads are just weak – what exercises will improve the fun of sex standing up?—Unstable in Boston, MA

I don’t know about you ladies, but I’ve got one position I do (and do it well). I don’t call it missionary, I don’t call it wheelbarrow, I call it lay on my back while my boyfriend does all the work. Sure, I’ll put my legs behind my head sometimes; I’ll even gyrate a little. The point is, zero muscles are being used and I like it.  But all good things must come to an end, or change, and we’ve got to switch it up sometimes. Shower sex, sex against the wall or doorway, and all other sex standing up does take training. Here’s a few of my favorite exercises for getting into “sex” shape:

There’s only one thing I hate about being single: the constant stream of relationship advice I didn’t even ask for. I have a degree, plenty of relationship experience, a body that just won’t quit, and a tube of red lipstick—I am well equipped to survive in the wilderness that is the dating scene. Yet everyone wants to jump in on the action, from my married friends who mean well to magazine relationship experts. And, by the way, the advice is always the same: “Empower yourself so you can attract a man to latch onto.” The latest to dispense this advice is Time Out New York and their resident dating “expert” Julia Allison (you non-New Yorkers may recognize her as a talking head on CNN and Fox News). The magazine’s “Singles Issue” promises that if you let someone Photoshop and style you, you can attract a mate someday—all aspects of Allison’s marketing (yourself) plan. Other nuggets of advice after the jump.

Q: My dog constantly barks when I’m having sex. It’s so annoying and a bit of a turn-off and I don’t know what to do. If I put him in another room he barks even louder. My guy recommended we keep the puppy on the bed with us during the act but that kind of creeps me out.  Is it weird that my guy is cool with that?—Sick Of The Yelping, New York, NY

A: Blugh. I just shuddered at my desk. Puppies and sex? I can think of a ton of things that go better together. Vanilla and chocolate, peas and carrots, margaritas and tacos. Life is too short to mix gross things like puppies and sex. Now that you know I’m a prude who doesn’t think Lassie and fellatio go together, I feel confident telling you it’s a little weird your boyfriend wants to keep him on the bed. With that being said, I can also see how guys can be clueless. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s more of the “duh” factor with your man, as opposed to the “Holy crap, I’m dating a freak!” factor.

You should talk to your boyfriend and tell him that it bothers you. Sit him down and compare the dog to your fictional child for a bit. Tell him the dog is part of the family and that allowing him to watch is the equivalent of a kid seeing his parents doing it—though definitely use the “f” word, because that will get the point across. Then you should immediately look into a trainer or get some books on how to stop your dog from barking. I’m no pet expert, but I think training the dog to not bark while you’re doing the deed is a better solution than letting him watch the action. Now, if the dog still wants to watch, go ahead and make the bitch pay for it. That kind of entertainment doesn’t come for free.

Hold up! Scientists have recently discovered that the cells that are shed from the womb lining during a woman’s period contain a new type of stem cell that may be used in the treatment of damaged and/or old tissue. The company, Cryo-Cell, has sponsored a blood bank for women to store their own menstrual blood for future use in the treatment of cancer and other diseases. Um, yeah. So while it’s cool that such a huge advancement in science has been made, especially given all the controversy over stem cell research and fetal tissue, some doctors think a blood bank like this preys on womens’ fears. On the other hand, being so in charge of your future health is empowering. But can we please pay a gofer to collect our period blood for us, thanks? It’s kind of icky. [Science Daily, BBC News]